Take the Alexithymia test

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134: Strong alexithymic traits.

I scored 97. I skipped the sex questions because I have never been in a sexual relationship.

155, not too far away from Vulcan territory.

99. May be higher. There were more than a few questions where I put undecided because I didn't understand the question.

My score was 132

179

When I was very young I experienced overwhelming emotions and had very vivid dreams that I could at times control while I was in them. I could also wish for them before I went to sleep, and I would have the dreams I wished for.

The older I got, the less emotional and imaginative I got. Most of my adult life; I was pretty balanced. As life became intensely stressful, I lost my ability to feel normal emotion, and it was replaced by pain and the strange bodily sensations talked about on the test.

I think fibromyalgia may be related to severe Alexithymia.

Adrenaline became happiness and exhaustion and bodily discomfort became sadness.

I've experienced great joy and sadness, and absolute nothingness. There is no description for nothingness; no words or feelings. Every second is an eternity.

Now it is painful to see others smile and laugh, because I can't even remember how it is suppose to feel or what it was like to look forward. Compared to balanced emotions it is like observing yourself here as a ghost rather than human.

In my case stress and health issues made alexithymia much worse to the point of not experiencing emotion.

Balanced emotions are priceless.

Sorry, if I write too much, but it is all that is left of my soul.

I didn't notice anyone mention it in the discussion, but there is an option button for downloading an automatic scoring version of test on the web page, provided in different languages. It worked fine for me, and my computer is not a new one.

The test as is on the webpage is not supposed to automatically score when you press on the button at the bottom of the test. That is why the manual scoring is made available.

I guess it was provided that way for people that felt uncomfortable opening up the downloaded file for the test that automatically scores.

I scored 141

132. But I already know I have this so I'm not surprised. Or maybe I just don't realized I'm surprised.

137.

I often feel like I have weird emotional surges going on inside me that I can't explain.

I got 163

Without giving it some time and alot of thought I can only recognize 2 feelings in myself; happy and stressed.
When I've got time to think about it I analyze what symtoms I have and compare them to the different feeling I know the description of, then I analyze what could be the factor that makes the feeling ocur and then I eliminate or change that part so the feeling will go away so I'll go back to my neutral/happy state.

My wife took this for me by proxy and scored me at 150 (she also said she went easy on me). These tests always blow my ideas about self out of the water, and also add credence to anbuends arguments about the low utility of the LFA/HFA categorizations. All of these "tests" that I take put me on the high side of moderate, edging towards severe on the level of autism. Yet I am supposedly (and apparently outwardly at least) very high functioning. I can't reconcile this disparity yet.

This may sound tautological, but if I had to make a call on LFA vs. HFA, I'd base it on how functional the person is in society.

Here I am. 47. Two university degrees. Got elected to political office once, and made some impressive marks. Got a good high-paying job. Got a wife who loves me and a herd of great kids. Most people who know me think, at worst, that I'm a bit eccentric and a bit of a loner.

Now, I'm also depressed, anxious, alexithymic, with a behavioural addiction (that fortunately I've been sober with for quite a while now), and not very content with my life. So I'm obviously not "where I'd like to be". But do I function well in society? Tolerably well. So I guess I'd count as "high-functioning". Doesn't mean I don't have issues or problems. Just means I "pass" well with the NTs.

My 16-y-o daughter is in the same boat. In "regular" school, taking honours and AP classes, in grade 10 with her age cohort, no "special education" other than a counsellor who she sees more often than most students see counsellors to go over any bumps along the way. She has friends, she's liked, she's not bullied, she mostly likes being alone and doesn't go to church or school dances by choice, but she does interact some with friends and schoolmates. There's a very good chance we'll be able to "send her off" to college with little extra help. So I guess she counts as "high-functioning", too.

Now, someone who needed more significant help to "pass" in the NT world? I guess that would count as "low-functioning". But to me, it's not so much a judgment as much as it is a guide to determining how much assistance that person needs. Ideally, that would be all that labels like that would do.

The problem I have with this is it fails to characterize a persons impairment. If I can function passably without any services or support, then I am expected to do so, regardless of the fact that with services and support I might function fantastically. I could be extremely talented in some areas and so impaired in others that those talents are never realized. But as long as I can keep a minimal standard of functionality, I'm good to go.

139

Very true. But given how piss-poor support for ANYONE with disabilities is, visible or invisible, in Canada, the US, or many other places, that's probably "the best we're going to get" until Things Change.

(I could get into a rant about how we don't tax corporations or rich people enough, and how we don't spend enough on proper mental health/related care, and so on and so forth, but I'll save it for a nice political thread somewhere else.)

143.