Why are people with ASD's easy to pick on?

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user1001
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27 Apr 2011, 7:19 pm

I am male and 17 with ASD and I have had so many bullies in the past and that I never gotten beat up but I have always been picked on. People say to me "Dude, you're so easy it is not worth picking on you" (and for some reason I got offended by that) and they would say "it is not worth it" and I have no idea what they mean by that. People always tell me that I am easy to pick on or get away with and I never noticed it. Not when someone told me. I don't know why people with ASD are easy to pick on but can someone please explain why?
I would like to know two things:
1. What does it mean when people say "you're so easy to pick on"
2. What can I do to not get told this?
I never want any answers to say "Oh just beat them up" because I am a non violent person and I never want to stand up for my self because I am afraid of getting into trouble.



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27 Apr 2011, 7:41 pm

From my experience, most people picked on me because I came flustered and couldn't rebuke them or attack them back. There were also times with passive bullying that I didn't realize I was being bullied. I think that we are picked on so much simply because we are different from neurotypicals, and there are very few people in the world who are tolerant. And I would interpret them saying that 'you're too easy' meaning either that you're easy to pick on because you are different, or you are too easy to bully, especially if you don't fight back.


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27 Apr 2011, 7:51 pm

user1001 wrote:
I am male and 17 with ASD and I have had so many bullies in the past and that I never gotten beat up but I have always been picked on. People say to me "Dude, you're so easy it is not worth picking on you" (and for some reason I got offended by that) and they would say "it is not worth it" and I have no idea what they mean by that. People always tell me that I am easy to pick on or get away with and I never noticed it. Not when someone told me. I don't know why people with ASD are easy to pick on but can someone please explain why?
I would like to know two things:
1. What does it mean when people say "you're so easy to pick on"
2. What can I do to not get told this?
I never want any answers to say "Oh just beat them up" because I am a non violent person and I never want to stand up for my self because I am afraid of getting into trouble.


1) They mean you're so different from the crowd, that you're too easy to pick on. They also sense how easy it is to offend you, so they make remarks like that knowing that it will offend you.
2) Not have an ASD and act 'normal'. Short of having a brain transplant, if you act like you're not affected by it and you don't insist on interacting with them, then they might desist.



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27 Apr 2011, 7:52 pm

user1001 wrote:
I am male and 17 with ASD and I have had so many bullies in the past and that I never gotten beat up but I have always been picked on. People say to me "Dude, you're so easy it is not worth picking on you" (and for some reason I got offended by that) and they would say "it is not worth it" and I have no idea what they mean by that. People always tell me that I am easy to pick on or get away with and I never noticed it. Not when someone told me. I don't know why people with ASD are easy to pick on but can someone please explain why?
I would like to know two things:
1. What does it mean when people say "you're so easy to pick on"
2. What can I do to not get told this?
I never want any answers to say "Oh just beat them up" because I am a non violent person and I never want to stand up for my self because I am afraid of getting into trouble.


1) They mean you're so different from the crowd, that you're too easy to pick on. They also sense how easy it is to offend you, so they make remarks like that knowing that it will offend you.
2) Not have an ASD and act 'normal'. Short of having a brain transplant, if you act like you're not affected by it and you don't insist on interacting with them, then they might desist.



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27 Apr 2011, 7:52 pm

user1001 wrote:
I am male and 17 with ASD and I have had so many bullies in the past and that I never gotten beat up but I have always been picked on. People say to me "Dude, you're so easy it is not worth picking on you" (and for some reason I got offended by that) and they would say "it is not worth it" and I have no idea what they mean by that. People always tell me that I am easy to pick on or get away with and I never noticed it. Not when someone told me. I don't know why people with ASD are easy to pick on but can someone please explain why?
I would like to know two things:
1. What does it mean when people say "you're so easy to pick on"
2. What can I do to not get told this?
I never want any answers to say "Oh just beat them up" because I am a non violent person and I never want to stand up for my self because I am afraid of getting into trouble.


1) They mean you're so different from the crowd, that you're too easy to pick on. They also sense how easy it is to offend you, so they make remarks like that knowing that it will offend you.
2) Not have an ASD and act 'normal'. Short of having a brain transplant, if you act like you're not affected by it and you don't insist on interacting with them, then they might desist.



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27 Apr 2011, 7:52 pm

user1001 wrote:
I am male and 17 with ASD and I have had so many bullies in the past and that I never gotten beat up but I have always been picked on. People say to me "Dude, you're so easy it is not worth picking on you" (and for some reason I got offended by that) and they would say "it is not worth it" and I have no idea what they mean by that. People always tell me that I am easy to pick on or get away with and I never noticed it. Not when someone told me. I don't know why people with ASD are easy to pick on but can someone please explain why?
I would like to know two things:
1. What does it mean when people say "you're so easy to pick on"
2. What can I do to not get told this?
I never want any answers to say "Oh just beat them up" because I am a non violent person and I never want to stand up for my self because I am afraid of getting into trouble.


1) They mean you're so different from the crowd, that you're too easy to pick on. They also sense how easy it is to offend you, so they make remarks like that knowing that it will offend you.
2) Not have an ASD and act 'normal'. Short of having a brain transplant, if you act like you're not affected by it and you don't insist on interacting with them, then they might desist.



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27 Apr 2011, 7:53 pm

user1001 wrote:
I am male and 17 with ASD and I have had so many bullies in the past and that I never gotten beat up but I have always been picked on. People say to me "Dude, you're so easy it is not worth picking on you" (and for some reason I got offended by that) and they would say "it is not worth it" and I have no idea what they mean by that. People always tell me that I am easy to pick on or get away with and I never noticed it. Not when someone told me. I don't know why people with ASD are easy to pick on but can someone please explain why?
I would like to know two things:
1. What does it mean when people say "you're so easy to pick on"
2. What can I do to not get told this?
I never want any answers to say "Oh just beat them up" because I am a non violent person and I never want to stand up for my self because I am afraid of getting into trouble.


1) They mean you're so pathetically different from the crowd, that you're too easy to pick on. They also sense how easy it is to offend you, so they make remarks like that knowing that it will offend you.
2) Not have an ASD and act 'normal'. Short of having a brain transplant, if you act like you're not affected by it and you don't insist on interacting with them, then they might desist.



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27 Apr 2011, 7:53 pm

user1001 wrote:
I am male and 17 with ASD and I have had so many bullies in the past and that I never gotten beat up but I have always been picked on. People say to me "Dude, you're so easy it is not worth picking on you" (and for some reason I got offended by that) and they would say "it is not worth it" and I have no idea what they mean by that. People always tell me that I am easy to pick on or get away with and I never noticed it. Not when someone told me. I don't know why people with ASD are easy to pick on but can someone please explain why?
I would like to know two things:
1. What does it mean when people say "you're so easy to pick on"
2. What can I do to not get told this?
I never want any answers to say "Oh just beat them up" because I am a non violent person and I never want to stand up for my self because I am afraid of getting into trouble.


1) They mean you're so pathetically different from the crowd, that you're too easy to pick on. They also sense how easy it is to offend you, so they make remarks like that knowing that it will offend you.
2) Not have an ASD and act 'normal'. Short of having a brain transplant, if you act like you're not affected by it and you don't insist on interacting with them, then they might desist.



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27 Apr 2011, 8:00 pm

SEPTUPLE POST!



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27 Apr 2011, 8:11 pm

Merit wrote:
From my experience, most people picked on me because I came flustered and couldn't rebuke them or attack them back. There were also times with passive bullying that I didn't realize I was being bullied. I think that we are picked on so much simply because we are different from neurotypicals, and there are very few people in the world who are tolerant. And I would interpret them saying that 'you're too easy' meaning either that you're easy to pick on because you are different, or you are too easy to bully, especially if you don't fight back.


YES! Great summary!

Your first sentence almost exactly describes how my ex-wife would bully me.

I think there's also an element of taking people at face value. I know that I, especially as a child, had a hard time understanding that people would lie, and so I got "sucked in" to a lot of bogosity, due to my gullibility.

But the "being different" is the key, I think. It didn't help me that I was skinny, and two years younger than everyone else in my grade (yes, I skipped). Bullies look for people they can isolate; bullying someone popular would be very counter-productive.

Sigh. I hated grades 5-9.



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27 Apr 2011, 9:04 pm

People made fun of me even though I was stronger, academically smarter and arguably better looking than most of the people I knew. I never knew what to say. I could never think fast enough to respond or I would get so angry that my mind would go blank or I would tremble and want to punch the crap out of them but I was too scared to carry it out (for the most part).



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27 Apr 2011, 9:33 pm

Somebody told me I stink today, don't know if they were joking, so I told them that I'd be happy to rub my scent all over their backpack. That kind of worked. Maybe if you can learn to rise above it and not care. Sometimes people tease and don't actually mean harm and people with Aspergers have a hard time differentiating.



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27 Apr 2011, 10:38 pm

When people say that you are easy to pick on I think that it is due to the fact that you don't pick up on what they are saying or they interpret that at any rate so they feel like it is easy to pick at your insecurities. I've been bullied my entire life, and not just by students either. One of my principals bullied me and my mother saying that I was nuts for having an imagination in the 1st grade saying that I can't tell fiction from reality. My therapist told me that I was fine, and then my mother revealed the truth of the mystic holidays, and beings for whome until that time I thought might have existed. Santa, Toothfairy, Leprachauns etc. The very next day after my mother revealed the holiday secret they had the absolute nerve to wreck the classroom and say that leprachauns did it. Needless to say my mother was not pleased. At any rate Bullies are people with their own problems that they feel can only be justified by lashing out at others, they feel inferior to you no matter how you think they feel they pick on you because they feel jealous of you for one reason or another so they try to ruin your self esteem. Frankly my advise is to just ignore them, treat them as if they do not exist, and by that I mean just pay them no mind at all, give them the cold shoulder, or at least I think thats what I mean. Most people leave me alone now, which I think is because I don't let them bother me. As far as the nonviolence goes, I am the same way, however if you need to defend yourself physically you won't get in trouble for fighting back, its selfdefence and human nature to defend yourself in case of physical confrontation. If they throw the first punch, don't punch them back, but try to immobilize them make sure they can't move to attack you, and if you are able get a teacher or someone to help.



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27 Apr 2011, 11:37 pm

Because people can not tolerate people who are different from themselves, so they want to get rid of them. They think that their bulling behaviour will do just that.


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28 Apr 2011, 2:56 am

user1001 wrote:
I am male and 17 with ASD and I have had so many bullies in the past and that I never gotten beat up but I have always been picked on. People say to me "Dude, you're so easy it is not worth picking on you" (and for some reason I got offended by that) and they would say "it is not worth it" and I have no idea what they mean by that. People always tell me that I am easy to pick on or get away with and I never noticed it. Not when someone told me. I don't know why people with ASD are easy to pick on but can someone please explain why?
I would like to know two things:
1. What does it mean when people say "you're so easy to pick on"
2. What can I do to not get told this?
I never want any answers to say "Oh just beat them up" because I am a non violent person and I never want to stand up for my self because I am afraid of getting into trouble.

I think what the person means is you are an easy target. I have gotten told that before, but people think it's worth it to pick on me, anyway. I kind of wish they had that attitude toward me, I'm not worth it to pick on.
What can you do to not get told this? That's a good question. Maybe you could tell them you hate hearing that you are so easy to pick on it's not worth it and you really wish they would stop saying it.



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28 Apr 2011, 3:00 am

Merit wrote:
or you are too easy to bully, especially if you don't fight back.


How would they like it if we fought back? If we had been bullied for a long length of time and we just decided to put them in a coma for the rest of their lives? Would that count?