How do you know a conversation has finished?

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Why is it so difficult to work out when a conversation is over?

I've found I avoid starting a conversation because I'm so anxious about knowing when it's over and I can leave without making a fool of myself for either leaving too early, or hanging around.

Anyone got any ideas to help with this?

If the person you are talking to looks at their watch frequently the conversation is over. If their eyelids start to droop then you are overdoing it. If they drift off to sleep then it is also fair to assume the conversation is over.

Being slightly more serious it can be difficult sometimes. Look for general signs of fidgeting or them giving short replies to what you say. They may hint more heavily about needing to do something or go somewhere to so take those as a red flag.

Be especially careful if, like me, you are talking about a special interest because you can hit them with a none stop wall of words and overwhelm them. We can be so engrossed talking enthusiastically about our interest and not realise we are boring the pants off the other person, so take care.

conversations are over when i suddenly disengage from them.
when i no longer have an interest in participating in a conversation, then that conversation is finished.

i always know when conversations are finished. they are finished at the point where i start to yawn.

I have never been able to figure that one out! As a result, I often have to pass up on entering any discussion, as I don't want to be rude by butting in, or by changing a subject not yet completed by existing parties to the conversation. I have been told that it's all in the body language, but how in the heck is there any body language when people are just standing or sitting there? No feet to point toward a door, nor any rattling of keys, or anything else to indicate an end in sight that I (as a high-functioning autistic) can recognize. It's a crap shoot when breaking into a group in conversation, and I just have to hope it isn't taken as TOO rude.

When I do start one, I have a terrible time ending it, as I have been accused many times of "bomb dropping" (posing a topic to discuss, and leaving before the other party/parties have a chance to fulfill a response)... I hate being that way, and I basically apologize in advance when leaving the conversation... Maybe I'll just say "Excuse me for any rudeness, but I just realized it's time for me to (whatever suits), and I need to go just now".... Maybe we can resume later?" That way, the other person can say "Just one more point............", and I'll listen and then know they were done, or they'll say "Oh, no problem... I didn't really have any further on that".

Charles

I don't know the answer. But for me it's especially bad on the phone. Unless the other person says goodbye first, I don't know if it's time to hang up.

I find it easier to handle in business settings. If I've said everything I wanted to say and found out everything I wanted to know, and there is a lull in the conversation it seems acceptable to ask "Have we covered everything?" and formally end the conversation if they say "Yes".

Phone I also have a difficult time with, especially when there is a lull in conversation. It seems rude to end the conversation sometimes. I phoned my father the other day to wish him a happy birthday and after asking after his health the conversation dried up; so ended up just saying that "I'd run out of things to talk about" and that ended the conversation.

Hell I even get some problems knowing when to terminate a PM or email exchange!

I tend to find its over when they either:

Tell you to shut up along with giving you a rather angry look
Completely ignore you if you stop to ask them a question about anything you may want to ask a question about
Say goodbye and leave
Tell you they have to go now as they have something to do
Tell you to please change the subject or go away
Or I get bored of the chit chat and my brain wants to go and do something else itself anyway.

Until one of those occurs I just keep talking and even after they say they need to leave I will still keep talking anyway lololololol

I have no idea when to stop talking. I drive my boyfriend crazy with monologues. I have had to encourage him to just walk away or say "I need to focus." Of course if it is something important, he listens very well. As for the phone, forget it. I am even more at sea as to when to speak, how long to speak, or when to be silent. And most of all, I don't know how to end the convo.

It's over when the other person says goodbye or walks away. I want to learn how to end conversations.

The person has nothing else to say nor you.

The person has to leave so they say so.

But I often wonder how do I end a conversation. I know I can just say "I want to get back to what I am doing to bye" but I feel that be rude for ending it abruptly. One of the reasons why I hate phones. I just feel trapped. It's also why I don't have phone conversations. Only time it's so easy to end a phone conversation is if I have to head somewhere. I just tell the person I am going there and that's a cue the conversation needs to end. Same as if my baby is crying and I am having a hard time taking care of him and being on the phone so I say I have to get going because I have to take care of him and can't do it when I am on the phone.

In real life it's so easy to end it if you have to be somewhere and if you have to get back to work because the other person understands. I just say I need to get back to work now. If I am not at work, I say I better get going. I say it at work too to customers so they know I am leaving so I don't leave them talking in the air and they sure know I have a job to do so they aren't going to view me as rude for ending it abruptly.

And sometimes I have a hard time to quit talking when I know I should get to sleep or should rest my vocal cords because they are sore or get back to work after my break had ended because the conversation was so good. It's hard to end it and the other person has to do it for me and that way it's a lot easier for me to stop.

You know you have worn out when you realize that the person you are talking to is no longer giving you any constructive responses. Like others have said, short answers are usually a good sign, but let me throw my own light on it:

Consider what the person you are talking to is actually saying, and critically evaluate whether it was really worth the breath and mental energy you invested in getting that response. If you think about what that person says and find that it's really a worthless, empty statement, the conversation is dead. It's useless to you. At that point, you politely bow out of the discussion.

The thing that is important to learn is this: you have to make other people sell themselves to you. If you don't, you'll always be the pursuer, never the pursued.

I have a hard time knowing this too. I know there are times when I´ve overstayed my welcome, and the person suddenly tells me hurriedly they have to go, as they scamper off. Likewise, I think I´ve sometimes just walked away abruptly, feeling like it was over for me but forgetting about what the other person feels. In my case, this problem seems to affect all aspects of communication; I don´t even know when to end a text message, or an e-mail exchange! There are times when I keep sending what I later realize are unnecessary messages, but at the time I figure better to be safe than sorry. Then there are times when a written exchange ends, but I realize I have no idea if we resolved the point or not, so I have to go back and ask.

All really useful advice so far, thanks! Makes me feel better that I'm just being totally thick about this!

To be honest, I really can't tell when people are getting bored of me talking unless they just don't say anything, and it does usually takes someone to say "go away", or words to that effect! I have no idea how to recognise it in their facial expression or gestures- not a clue.

As for the phone, like someone mentionned, I don't even bother- the only people I talk to on the phone are Mum and sister, and they know how rubbish I am at this, and end the conversations.

I'm going to try the stuff you've suggested, as for me this is the biggest and most obvious problem I have with my AS every day, and so if I can at least make it a bit better, life would be so much easier!

I start to recognize a conversation may have ended when the other person stops contributing content to the discussion. They usually also stop looking at me at this point. Texting conversations are over when someone stops replying to me, and not a moment sooner; I'll frequently send one or two more messages just to be sure they're done talking to me.

Umm, this is probably not the way to do it, but I just talk until they have to go or until I run out of words, when I say, "Okay, I'm done talking now."