Adult aspies being bullied

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Yes. Oh GOD.. keep those MONSTERS away from me!

Probably emotional bullying is more likely to be a problem for us adults, than physical bullying. Of course any kind is possible at any age though. Emotional bullying is sometimes worse because you can't always see it coming, and you sometimes don't know it's happening for a LONG time. If you're hanging around someone on a regular basis (friend or family, or co-worker, bus driver, or anyone you see regularly for any reason), and you seem to feel bad about yourself after being with that person, they might be your adult bully. At age 40-ish, I found out one of my longest-time friends, and a father figure, is indeed an adult bully to me. It was hard to accept, but once I did accept it, I learned to deal with it. I took control of the relationship, and we're still friends as before, but he can't mow me down anymore. That is very hard to do, and for most people it might be better to just cut off the ties with the bully altogether. I have an excellent psychiatrist, and very supportive wife, and without either or both, I would not be as able to work on these things.

Charles

That is why you have to remain anonymous about it and not brag. Ideally, your strike needs to NOT look like sabotage. If you fear an "arms race" or competition, then you need to make your strike count enough to get that person out of your life and out of the job. Aan example of this is if you know you enemy gets drunk and drives, you can report him for drunk driving.

Funniest thing I did was I had two paper roll tubes. I had a friend take a polaroid of me sticking the tube down the back of my pants. I put the clean tube where the idots could find the tube because they usually hold the tube up to their mouths to make childish sound effects. Three of my tormentors held the tubes to their mouths and as they did it I showed them the polaroid. They took it a lot better after I showed the butt tube in the garbage. The boss did a spit take when he saw me do this when he was drinking some coffee.

Last edited by Todesking on 08 Jul 2010, 1:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Just as Non-Autistics are constantly sending each other nonverbal signals without being consciously aware of it, our ASD status is immediately obvious to those hateful types who are always on the prowl for someone 'different' to pick on, though they don't specifically identify it as such. The very fact that we aren't communicating in nonverbal social cues is enough to set off their radar, not to mention all the other little things that others deem odd or unusual.

I've wrist-flipped my keys in my right hand anytime I walk through a public area for as long as I've carried keys. It wasn't until after I began to get familiar with my AS that I realized its a classic hand-flap, just toned down - I can't say I've ever seen anyone else do it. The last time I was bullied by another adult (just weeks ago) it was because I wasn't able to answer their questions fast enough to suit them. I doubt it ever occurred to them that my hesitation was a sign of any kind of disorder - the person was simply an @ssh*le, and I was an easy target. Point being, whether you're exhibiting flagrant signs of 'oddness' or not, the bully personality type can smell a victim who's unlikely to retaliate.

But I'm preaching to the choir. You guys know this already from experience.

exactly. its not like they say, "hey theres someone with aspergers, lets get em!" they are simply being who they are, bullies. of course they are good at identifying victims, thats what they do. im not asd but i am short, chubby, red headed, smart, and weird. bullies are everywhere, even when you grow up.

btw willard, ive always loved your sig quote. altho probably said in jest, i like the idea of being open and honest about who you are.

I still like the look on their faces when I strike back when they catch that first punch or kick I take extra offense if the bully is a lot smaller than me and tries my patience. Mostly because they think so little of me they are intimidated by my size. I have had people yell at me for hitting someone smaller than me but no one yelled at them for them picking on me.

The only time I regretted attacking someone was when this women started in on me for no reason and it was a viscous verbal attack. I told her giggling boyfriend to shut her up or he will catch an asswhoopin. His reponse was to say ooohhh your so tough. My response was to kick him in in the groin and beat him when he was on the ground. Durring the entire attack his girlfriend did not say a word, she just watched she did say leave him alone or get off him. She was such a sociopath she did not care I was beating him up. My friend was the manager of the resteraunt where it happened and got me out of there before the cops came. He told the police that the man and woman had been drinking heavily and provoking customers into fights. My buddy said the guy's nose and forehead had welts swollen bits making him look life he had been in a car accident. Ha F'n Ha. I regret hitting the guy but he did nothing to shut her up and I am not going to hit a woman no matter what.

I have too! By my friend's 14-year-old sister. I was 19 at the time, and it was terrible. It's too long a story to explain.

I'd say teens are the worst, especially the high school aged teens. I have had some harassment from immature adults including one co-worker who just got out of high school and when I was alone would walk up to me and tell me how I will never get married and that I was a loser. Every time I screwed up, he was there to taunt me. This is just how teens are, they see someone who is different (not just people with Aspergers) and ridicule them. I always wished that these kids would end up having some kid with Autism/Aspergers when they get married and get to be there every time their child is ridiculed. It would be Karma for what they did to me!

I don't know if there is any place I can go, online or in real life, and be safe from bullies.

As an adult, I have innocently asked a stranger at a red light if he had the correct time, please, and he answered, "Yeah, it's time to get your fat ass......" and then drove away before I heard the rest. I don't know what it is, but I seem to have an invisible bull's eye target stamped on my forehead, and people take aim. As others have said, usually these are teens, or people in their early 20's.