Is it possible to outgrow Aspergers?

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There are questions being asked by medical professionals whether or not Aspergers even exists. Every person is unique and different in this world. The Psychiatric handbook of what is or is not an illness keeps getting updated all the time. Homosexuality was considered a mental impairment up until the 1970s.

People like to label things and have everything in its right place. The term Aspergers is just like any other impairment and gives you a label that may stigmatise you.

While I don't think it is possible to outgrow having Asperger's, I do think it's possible to develop coping mechanisms to make living with Asperger's easier. Take me as an example: I'm 22 years old, and while I do still have Asperger's, I've been able to learn enough social skills to get by, as well as self-management skills leaving me able to hold down a job and support myself. For me, this took a little extra work than the average NT, as I've had to study these skills like you would study historical facts, but it's helped me. With some effort and maturity, I think these are skills that any aspie can attain.

I liked going out loud concerts as a teenager and I don't think this means I'm not an aspie. I'm not very sensitive to sounds. Actually, my hearing is worse than most people's, and I enjoy loud music. I have sensory issues with my sense of touch.

As for whether the OP is an aspie...I doubt it. Your mom probably saw a few autistic traits in you, which she was looking for because your dad has it, and jumped on that. It's possible to have some traits without actually having Asperger's syndrome. I also doubt it because it sounds like you've been evaluated for it but wasn't diagnosed.

Thanks so much to everyone who replied. I'm pretty sure I'm not an aspie, but if I were, I'd be okay with that.. I was horrified at the idea before but now after talking to you guys I think it'd be ok. Sorry if that sounds offensive or sterotyping, but it's true

Do you think that maybe because your dad has AS that you picked up on his behavior and mimiced it??
And as soon as you began to seperate from your parents in adolesence, you started acting more NT??
That might explain that difference.
You would not have that kind of change as a person with AS unless you had intensive early intervention which continued into adolecence.

I remember when I went to a international club party in college. I thought it was going to be a nerd fest (which is what I was hoping for). It was nothing like I expected...they rolled in the kegs of beer, they drank, they bootie danced to loud and incomprehesible music, and I was so overstimulated by the noise and comotion that I just fell asleep on the couch, exausted from all the stimuli. They woke me up a few times to dance with them...which I felt like a fish out of water, and then went back to sleep away the stress untill the driver decided she was ready to go back to the dorm.

Now MY idea of a party is a few of my friends and I get together to paint a mural or something....while listening to Enya or micheal bolton.

I think it's difficult to any poster here to determine from the small amount of information you gave whether you have it or not. If you don't have any difficulties now, then probably not. If you don't have any difficulties now, but this is because you're working your butt off to try and achieve and maintain normality when it doesn't come naturally or easily to you, then you might have it.

I'm you're not experiencing any difficulties and living a normal life comes naturally to you then I probably wouldn't worry.

Dark_Lord_2008 I take offense at you saying Asperger's doesn't exist. It makes a mockery of the struggles I and the other members of this forum have had to work hard our whole lives to overcome. Asperger's is more than just being "unique" or "different" or having a certain sexual preference. Asperger's is both a disability AND a difference (and in some ways an ability), and I am very sick of people saying it's not a disability. I don't understand how anyone who has Asperger's could say it's never caused them any difficulties or struggles in life.

Yes.

I gave up trying to outgrow AS, years ago. I've found that it's a lot easier and healthier for me, just to be myself. Why put myself through anymore stress, by being the perfect person that my mum wanted me to grow up to be?

Why fake being normal and sociable to fit in? You can be yourself and keep your special Aspie powers and eccentric/odd mannerisms.

People should like you for you and accept you for being you. People can either accept you or just go away. Anyone who criticises, judges you or harasses you for being different is just a cowardly bully.

The people wanting you to change have the problem. They are racist/prejudicial pieces of garbage. They judge you because they do not know you.

I only partially agree...

On the one hand, yes... Accept who you are and be ok with that. People who matter don't care. People who care don't matter. And all that.

On the other, though... That doesn't stop a critical breakdown in communication between you and other people. Often, these misunderstandings go unnoticedand can have dire consequences. Likeing who you are is not often enough to better your economic situation, as employment can often hinge on playing well with others. Sequestering oneself to avoid certain overstimulati environments is very often highly inconvienient. And more...

So, yea...partially agree. Like who you are and all that. But aspergers is not that same as quirky or odd or peculiar or unique. It has very real difficulties, and some of them can be partially mitigated, or partially worked through with much effort, trial, and errors...it doesn't just go away.

Personally, I can "Be normal" for all intents and purposes. It's mental anguish doing it....and has taken me years of concerted effort to train and retrain my skillset. I've studied facial expressions, practiced using them in a mirror. Studied body language and learned body movements to convey my own subtle meanings. I explored pitch and tonal differences in speech patterns and practiced incorporating them into my own naturally monotonous voice....I've studied and memorized the meanings of metaphors and other similar nonlogic based verbal and written expressions. I practice these things daily, and have for years. So, for me, "Being normal" requires a HUGE amount of conscious effort. It's akin to a martial art, everything fluid, yet deliberate.

Even when relaxed and "Being myself" though...to pick up on tone/pitch, body language, or nonlitteral translations, I still have to puzzle it out, like solving a complex equation. I can do it, in almost real time because of the practice ive put in...but it takes mental energy, and will exhaust me in time. And still took years of focused effort to get to this point...and I've never found anything (legal...) that allows me to get past some complications from overstimulation or my synesthesia....

You cannot "become NT" but you can adapt so well not to be diagnosable with AS once grown up (since you are not "impaired", just a bit different which is nothing bad).

Peter Pan does not want to leave his Never Never Land. Aspergers has been regarded by some people as Peter Pan Syndrome. The body grows but the brain may remain in a childlike state permanently.

Yep, employment and other social situations pretty much demand "fitting in" and "being accepted", so you pretty much have to sacrifice parts of your "true self" if your "true self" sufficiently deviates from the acceptable norms if you want acceptable employment and social outcomes. For example, not getting fired... not failing a peer-graded college course...

(I still need to learn "what to fix" with the latter, as that was my experience. While I bought into that "Be yourself" line hook, line and sinker at the time, that really is hogwash if your "true self" is socially unacceptable for whatever reason in whatever critically important contexts.)

People should accept us or they can go to hell. It is discrimination. You either accept us for who we are or go away. Enemies force us to change, friends and family accept us for being who we are.
You are either with or or against us?

This is what i was going to say. I spoke to my mum last night and she said i was alot worse when i was younger and my symptoms were more noticiable, however i still have to deal with my issues i just don't show i have anymore by acting 'normal'.

Being insecure and pretending to be something that you are not just to gain employment or fit in some social group that you do not feel like you belong. Hell No.

Be proud that you have Aspergers and just do not give a damn about other people. If anyone tries to change you, Just say No and stomp your feet. Why should anyone change to adapt to the world to be accepted by others? People non accepting of Aspergers are not worth talking to. It is definitely not worth working for some jerk employer who discriminates against Aspergers. The job would give you stress and make you angry and having Aspergers you may do something without thinking it through.

Some people with Aspergers react in a violently/aggressively if they are put under pressure or bullied. Sometimes enough is a enough and it is time to react. Aspergers lack impulse control and will react to situations.

Last edited by Dark_Lord_2008 on 19 May 2011, 12:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.