Dr. Phil advise mom to send autistic child away.

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Todesking
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25 May 2011, 11:10 pm

mizzfamousone wrote:
My personal opinion is the mother is not good. she would of aborted him if she knew he had down syndrome how do that make her good?


I would abort my child if I knew it had down syndrome. I have Asperger's Syndrome so odds are the my child will be on the autism spectrum on top of having the DS. My life sucked like you would not believe I could not have imagined what life would have been like if I had down syndrome piled up on it. People picked on me because they thought I was a little slow or ret*d. I could not imagine what would they have done to me if I had DS. I was able to fight back using insults or the possibility of embarrassing my tormentors but it always led to me being beat up but at least I made people laugh at my bully. I doubt a kid with down syndrome could do that. They would need a completly sheltered life always depending on the parents forever until the parents die or to infirm to help their child. It was not until I used my violent meltdowns to my advantage did I finally free myself of my high school drama.

Also I forget to take my own medication for high blood pressure so I know I would forget to give a kid with DS the meds it would need to live. My friend's kid with DS has respitory aliments and problems with his kidneys and diabetes. He has had to be on the ball remembering to take him to different doctors several times a month, thereapies, and what medicines when. I don't drive, I have a rotten memory, and I am prone to having meltdowns imagine what type of life i could give a kid with DS.


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Todesking
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25 May 2011, 11:13 pm

mizzfamousone wrote:
I really believe if i was to be one of his caregiver, i would do away with the pampers all together. In feces smearing would of been stopped years ago. I probably be able to take care of him and have time out getting my nails done. ( just my 2 cents)


I am glad you are just 21 you have plenty of time to learn a thing or two and hopefully not be as much of a troll.


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TheygoMew
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25 May 2011, 11:57 pm

These shows never have empathy for what the child must be going through :roll:



mizzfamousone
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26 May 2011, 6:51 am

TheygoMew wrote:
These shows never have empathy for what the child must be going through :roll:


I notice that too. I wish the show feature Alex doing things that typical teens do. I'm sure he don't act like that 24/7.



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26 May 2011, 6:52 am

Todesking wrote:
mizzfamousone wrote:
I really believe if i was to be one of his caregiver, i would do away with the pampers all together. In feces smearing would of been stopped years ago. I probably be able to take care of him and have time out getting my nails done. ( just my 2 cents)


I am glad you are just 21 you have plenty of time to learn a thing or two and hopefully not be as much of a troll.


How was I being a troll?



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26 May 2011, 6:58 am

Todesking wrote:
mizzfamousone wrote:
My personal opinion is the mother is not good. she would of aborted him if she knew he had down syndrome how do that make her good?


I would abort my child if I knew it had down syndrome. I have Asperger's Syndrome so odds are the my child will be on the autism spectrum on top of having the DS. My life sucked like you would not believe I could not have imagined what life would have been like if I had down syndrome piled up on it. People picked on me because they thought I was a little slow or ret*d. I could not imagine what would they have done to me if I had DS. I was able to fight back using insults or the possibility of embarrassing my tormentors but it always led to me being beat up but at least I made people laugh at my bully. I doubt a kid with down syndrome could do that. They would need a completly sheltered life always depending on the parents forever until the parents die or to infirm to help their child. It was not until I used my violent meltdowns to my advantage did I finally free myself of my high school drama.

Also I forget to take my own medication for high blood pressure so I know I would forget to give a kid with DS the meds it would need to live. My friend's kid with DS has respitory aliments and problems with his kidneys and diabetes. He has had to be on the ball remembering to take him to different doctors several times a month, thereapies, and what medicines when. I don't drive, I have a rotten memory, and I am prone to having meltdowns imagine what type of life i could give a kid with DS.


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26 May 2011, 7:18 am

I think they both need to learn how to be parent an autistic/Downe's Syndrome child & that sending him away should only be the last resort. That lady in the audience said that he was hitting himself for attention. That right there shows that she knows nothing about autistic kids. I relaly worry about that poor boy & hope something good comes/came from that show, but though they do need help learning how to better take care of him & he needs help learning how to communicate & become a more functional human being, they should try all they can to do that at home before they send him away.


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26 May 2011, 8:25 am

being autistic and taking care of an autistic child are two entirely different things. I barely manage to take care of my children and myself. When it comes down to it I don't take showers or wear clean clothes but my kids are well cared for.

Lets say you have noise sensitivity. Your severely autistic child is screaming for HOURS and Hours and you are on the verge of your own meltdown. You have to take your child to the doctor give him medication(which he HATES), take your own medication(which you never had to take before having kids), go to meetings at the school and nobody cares about YOUR issues. There are horrendously loud bells at the school. At the doctor's office you have hours of time sucked into sitting in a waiting room while your child doesn't cooperate. My son is HFA and I don't have time to go get my nails done. Plus there is work, school(college for me), house work, meal preparation, and self care all in addition to caring for your child. That child is functionally severely autistic right now and there are so many things that need to be done for a HFA child it doesn't even touch what needs to be done for a severely autistic child.

It's laughable to compare a high functioning Aspie to a low functioning child who can't even use the toilet(not necessarily his fault most parents are told children w/autism can't be potty trained until age 6+). I still would have had my kids but I would have spaced them out more and finished school had I known.


Having children is something I love and I wouldn't trade my kids for anything but I'm lower functioning than I was before having kids having to cope with it all ALONE. That woman deserves our sympathy and a break so she can learn to cope better and her son deserves to be treated like a human.



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26 May 2011, 8:50 am

mizzfamousone wrote:
TheygoMew wrote:
These shows never have empathy for what the child must be going through :roll:


I notice that too. I wish the show feature Alex doing things that typical teens do. I'm sure he don't act like that 24/7.


Why do you think Alex does things typical teens do? At some point in the future, if he gets therapeutic support and the family gets some help taking care of him and help teaching him skills, he may have a more enjoyable life than the one he has now. It might involve activities typical teens do, modified for his particular disability. But pretty much the whole point of the show was that with how things are now for that family, that isn't possible.

There are other kids very disabled like him who are out and about doing typical teen things like sports (Special Olympics heavily promotes this) or just hanging out. But for him to get to the point where that can be his day instead of this, this family will need a lot of outside help and support.

You said in another post that if he was in your care, he would have been out of Pullups , not doing fecal smearing, and you would have time after it all to get your nails done. What plan would you implement to accomplish these things? And what would you do if you could not accomplish them? Adult Depends exist because using the bathroom reliably is just not an option for many people. I think you are severly underestimating the amount of work involved. Or severly overestimating your ability to cause other people to achieve what you want them to achieve.

I think Alex could progress a lot farther than where he is now. But he can only do that with people who understand that this is a group effort (and can't be done by one caregiver) and that you can't assume he will get a particular skill just because someone else who shares that diagnosis got that skill. He's unhappy. She's unhappy. The family is currently dysfunctional. But claiming you could do it so much better is all just talk. It's easy to say. Her own husband says it. It's quite a lot harder to do.



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27 May 2011, 3:42 am

kate123A wrote:
I barely manage to take care of my children and myself. When it comes down to it I don't take showers or wear clean clothes but my kids are well cared for.

Same for me, and I'm not autistic... when someone decides to become a parent, he/she has to face up his/her responsabilities. It would be easier to raise an NT child, but that has not happened to me. There's no time for me, and that's right, my son comes first.
That said, it can happen that a mother is depressed, but still I don't think the child should be sent away. Maybe she has not resources (not only money, but psychological strenght) to manage his therapies and she needs help but mother and child should stay togheter.



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27 May 2011, 9:46 am

claudia wrote:
kate123A wrote:
I barely manage to take care of my children and myself. When it comes down to it I don't take showers or wear clean clothes but my kids are well cared for.

Same for me, and I'm not autistic... when someone decides to become a parent, he/she has to face up his/her responsabilities. It would be easier to raise an NT child, but that has not happened to me. There's no time for me, and that's right, my son comes first.
That said, it can happen that a mother is depressed, but still I don't think the child should be sent away. Maybe she has not resources (not only money, but psychological strenght) to manage his therapies and she needs help but mother and child should stay togheter.


I don't think it be easier to take care of a NT child. I know plenty of parents whom are raising NT children and they still don't have time for themselves.



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27 May 2011, 10:18 am

Yo, Dr. Phil. You ever hear of this new thing called outpatient therapy? Because I'm pretty sure it's not a very new idea...you know, since it's been around for over a decade.

Really, this man is one of the biggest idiots I've seen. This is pure attention-grabbing grandstanding. Most actual psychologists would recommend a nurse come to the home. You never want to take a kid who can't communicate away from the home! Not unless there's actual abuse going on.

Let the nurse teach Mom and Dad how to cope. And find the doctor who originally decided not to hook the parents up to a support group of some kind and fire him. Jeeze, people. You've had how many years of med school? Do you mind acting like adults?


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27 May 2011, 12:25 pm

I can't stand watching Dr Phil. He's so annoying.



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27 May 2011, 12:29 pm

PinkRangerV wrote:
Yo, Dr. Phil. You ever hear of this new thing called outpatient therapy? Because I'm pretty sure it's not a very new idea...you know, since it's been around for over a decade.

Really, this man is one of the biggest idiots I've seen. This is pure attention-grabbing grandstanding. Most actual psychologists would recommend a nurse come to the home. You never want to take a kid who can't communicate away from the home! Not unless there's actual abuse going on.

Let the nurse teach Mom and Dad how to cope. And find the doctor who originally decided not to hook the parents up to a support group of some kind and fire him. Jeeze, people. You've had how many years of med school? Do you mind acting like adults?


plus 1



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27 May 2011, 2:05 pm

Sometimes Dr. Phil pisses me off only because he acts like a brick wall sometimes and I hate brick walls. Even trying to destroy them with insults won't work. In fact it makes the brick wall stronger and it be even more harder to break it.



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27 May 2011, 5:16 pm

I find it weird that anyone form this site would even take the test for down syndrome when pregnant and to have a abortion is crazy. I know a lot of you got really upset about the autism prenatal testing for autism. Don't forget not all children with down syndrome is gonna need consent care for the rest of their lives. I bet a doctor would never say " don't worry your baby have down syndrome no big deal. they can grow up drive and go to college etc." once again look at Andrea Friedman. parents really need to look up her story first before thinking about abortion. and i also understand that there are a lot of children with down syndrome that are low function. but you won't know into your child is born and grows.

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