Autism and basic skills

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I am going to post a about me soon, but I wanted to ask a question first so that I can get an answer quicker.

I was diagnosed with aspergers a long time ago and I have noticed a few things that may or may not be a part of having that. I notice that I like technical facts rather than generalized information. If someone would ask me a question about a cat's third eyelid, I would translate that to the nictating membrane and if someone said chocolate, the first thing I would think of would be theobromine.

I am intelligent in the fields of writing, reading and animal behavior. I enjoy studying about animals, especially dogs and cats. I repair computers for a hobby - anywhere from a mild infection all the way to system crashes and hardware malfunctions.

Now I want to talk about a few deficiencies I see being a huge problem in the future. I am beginning to talk to people a lot more (I'll explain more about that in my auto bio) and I now have a job at the local humane society. I seem like a normal individual but I do not know a lot of common knowledge things. I do not know how to cook, or drive. I do not know how to mow a lawn yet, and I do not know how to tie a fish hook. Other things include basic woodwork and common fixes such as installing something like a dead lock or a common fix.

Recently I have learned how to mop, sweep, and do dishes. But I have been trying to learn how to cook and drive for a while, with no avail. I do not know for sure if I will ever learn how to cook or drive proficiently. I am not self limiting or thinking too sadistically, I am thinking realistically as possible. Is it possible that I might not learn them in the future? I will do my best to learn these things of course, but I want to know your thoughts.

The trick to cooking is to receive extremely precise and detailed instructions. Most recipes and instructions are extremely vague and ask you to estimate things. Estimating things isn't an Aspie's strong point, but following exact instructions IS our strong point.

I'd be happy to teach you to cook, if you wish. I can give you the kind of detailed instructions you need, since I'm an Aspie myself. I also happen to be an excellent cook.

Alas, I have no advice for you about driving.

Not having the aptitude to acquire basic skills excludes a diagnosis of AS. Those with AS who do not posses certain basic life skills by early adulthood do not posses them because no one bothered to teach them to the person and they have not been in a situation which gave them the incentive to attempt to learn them on their own.

I find there are random things that I can't figure out how to do. It causes a lot of anxiety because I never know what will be the next thing. The last thing I couldn't figure out was an ice cream machine at a restruant I tried to use the other day. I spent a few minutes trying to figure it out but I just couldn't. A 14 y.o. was waiting on me so I gave up and watched her get ice cream no problem. Made me want to cry.

I've had trainers in work situations complain that they have to show me how to do literally everything.

I can't cook but I just never really learned. I know the basics. Driving isn't (much) of an issue.

It may take you longer to pick up certain common skills than it might for a neurotypical person, but autism doesn't make you stupid. Keep at it and you'll get it down eventually. Once you get used to driving and can do it without constant stress and anxiety, it just becomes so natural you don't even have to think about it. Takes time and practice. I know it can be terrifying, frustrating and nerve wracking at first (I had to take my driving test 3 times before I got my license), but you can do it.

Cooking is more of a personal interest thing. I can throw a few things together in the kitchen just by trial and error, and I can follow the directions on a box - I can even scramble eggs without scorching them most of the time, but there's a level of cooking that becomes an art in itself and I think to become good at that level, you have to have a personal obsession about it. I love to eat, but I just don't have the patience to spend hours preparing a meal. I want it NOW. But if that art form is your thing, you'll learn it because you want to. If its not, then you'll probably never have the focus to really master it. Fortunately, we live in a world in which almost any food item can be bought pre-made and thawed out in the microwave.

I'm a very methodical person, and I love to cook. Most cooking is step by step stuff. Maybe try cooking something very complicated first, so you can micro-manage? I have a tendency to learn things "backwards", from specific and complicated, and then to general.
I still can't drive, though.

If it takes longer than an hour to cook, I won't cook it. I just want to make something that is healthy, filling and ready by the time I want to eat it.

Growing up I was very delayed in some skills like dressing myself, making simple meals (had to be shown how to make 2 minute noodles), and there were lots of things really. Even by my late teens I couldn't read a train timetable.

There are still some things I think I don't really understand how to do. My cleaning skills don't seem thorough enough. People really need to show me how to do things before I can master them.

It drives neurotypicals crazy when autistics possess all of these advanced skills yet they do not have fundamental basic skills. As far as driving goes I bet an autistic will master a computerized jet aircraft flight simulator before they learn how to drive a car.

Actually, that's not too far from the truth for me...

That's me. I have a degree in medical microbiology and taught myself advanced database design, but don't ask me to sit behind the wheel of a car. I'm sure I could if I really tried; I'd certainly be very cautious and much safer than most drivers on the roads (who think they know how to drive properly, just because they passed a test).

As for cooking, I find that very easy and can design a meal instantly, given a few ingredients. I can time several things simultaneously and work extremely fast. I get into 'the zone' when I'm cooking. But, if a recipe will take more than 30 minutes to prepare, I won't bother trying it out. My mum's always asking me where I found a recipe and I tell her, 'In my head'.

My lovely wee girl says she's different because she's slow. I've told her she might take longer than most to think of an answer, but she always gets it right and some of her answers are ingenious.

Driving I find easy. Getting lost is another problem, but it is easy for me to apply the 'rules of the road' to situations as they arise. When cooking: food goes in oven. Sometime later I remember that I was supposed to have timed the procedure. Oh well! It is not like I was really hungry anyway. I lost 9 lb this month, leaving me with 10 stone 11 lb on my 6' 2" frame. Do I really need detailed instructions for this most simple exercise?

Yes

I think if the instructions were to explicitly set an alarm for x minutes then I might do better.

I know how to cook, but I prefer to keep it to simple things. I get overwhelmed if there is too much preparation, or I get sidetracked and things don't turn out. My son and I both have quite particular likes/dislikes with food, so there is a restriction on the types of food I cook.

I can drive, but I only started once my son was born. It's been useful so I do it when I need to. I have an extremely good sense of direction, and I can find most places by "feel".

Areas that I am lacking in are my cleaning and organization skills, I have difficulty paying bills, returning phone calls or messages and answering my door. Things like eating, sleeping and personal hygiene I need to be reminded about, or told to do. Household chores like dishes, vacuuming and laundry...my husband will have to phone me 3-5 times any given day, to remind me of the same chore. And it still might not get done. The only way I can really accomplish something is if I have someone constantly checking my progress, or working along-side me.

I find it easier to learn all skills on my own rather than having someone else teach them to me. For cooking, it's less of a recipe for disaster if I simulate the steps in my mind first. The most annoying part is the preparation of the ingredients, like cutting meat and vegetables. Once the fire part starts, all is well. For driving, someone else is needed, but only because it's illegal to drive alone without a license. I didn't learn to drive until I was 20. But I know of NTs who didn't learn to cook or do their laundry or wash the dishes until they were 20. Either having precise written instructions or trial-and-error by mental simulation works well for me. I can't learn anything when someone is giving me spoken directions or hovering over me.