First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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@mindgames: The girl I'm seeing now (basically I don't leave her apartment except to go to forensic science lectures at the law school) found out about my AS the first night we met in a very interesting way. A bartender who's also on the spectrum (who accused me that night of being her "sweet, quiet refuge" and who's one of the few people I'll allow to touch me) spilled the details when J. asked her. This is atypical, but maybe there's something to be said for having a third party break the news. I, for one, don't like being put on the spot and probably would not respond well to a question like "why is your vocal cadence so strange?" or "why can you always return to the topic you started?"

As to whether NTs can tell (I forgot who was writing about this), I think those who are familiar with AS can. A cop I met (under unfortunate circumstances...a couple of two-bit thugs tried to mug me for my cigarettes while I was waiting for the bus after the landlord-tenant law seminar) picked me out in ten seconds flat. Of course, he has a son who's classically autistic and was the reporter for the city guidelines on how policemen and firemen should deal with people on the spectrum (hint...if I scream when you touch me it doesn't mean I'm a threat...it means I don't know you and hence you're not on the list of people I let do that), so he'd know. People who are unfamiliar with what AS is, I don't know. My guess is that they just sum us up as "weird" as best and "ret*d" at worst. Oh yeah, this guy hooked me up with a job for next summer as a child welfare advocate in Wisconsin. Score one.

That all said, please wish me luck. I'm giving a lecture on forensic geography Monday afternoon. I'm normally not scared of public speaking, but I'm scared to death of this, especially because the founding president of the Ancient Order of Owls (one of the groups we have here at the university) wants to come and hear my talk.

Wow. That's more self-disclosure than I've done in a while, but I think there are answers to people's questions in there somewhere.

OK, I have got a question for the NTs. I have lived in the same place since 2006. My landlord has a real problem with making eye contact with me the few times when I need to speak to him, or him to me about matters pertaining to rental. He does not have this problem with any of the other tenants. I hear him talking casually to them, and have observed him making eye contact. Since I am an Aspie, it usually is myself who is having trouble with this, so I find this unsettling. I once described my landlord's behavior to my fiance. I said that his reaction to my presence would be better suited if I were walking around buck naked.

I truly dread when I have to talk to him, and usually e-mail if I need something fixed or if I have a question. His discomfort causes me discomfort! Does anyone have any idea at all why I make him so uncomfortable?

I have a big question.
I am 27 and needing to look into a career shift.
Brief background, I wanted to be a demographer/transportation planner, got an MA in Geography, but that field is not hiring.

I do have a minor in business, I took accounting and finance courses.

I need some help in figuring out which career, if both, can fit.

My big things are:
1) I need it where there is a degree of predictability. Being able to plan ahead, and know what I will be doing each day, having a structured routine is huge. I can deviate and have flexibility, but generally have a structure as opposed to putting out fires and never knowing if I am out by 5 or 9 each would drive me crazy.

2) A fair amount of independence. I can work with people, but do well when I have 1-2 big tasks which I devote time to research, this really helps keep me on task. If I have 7-10 tasks, I can get lost in them and of focus. I do better with some multi-tasking but not too much overload. I do well too when I have independence (given work, told when it is due, what is expected, but not micromanaged).

3) I can deal with people. However, I am better where it's a break in the action, I do research in the morning, prepare, then spend a little time smoozing with clients and presenting to them, as opposed to working the phones, being interrupted constantly.

4) VERY IMPORTANT. Work life balance. I can do 40-50 hours and overtime but on occassion. Now if something comes up here and there, ok, but if a job has constant 8-8 hours, or where each day you never what the load will be and if you get out at 5 or 10, that would be tough.
I often see doctors, so having some flexibility in schedule and more "bankers" hours would be much easier for me to succeed.

5) I am good with research, analysis, and numbers. I struggle with computers (just harder to memorize).

I would like to know how a career in finance or accounting fit.
Almost all references to work and AS list accounting.
However, I am really interested in finance because I would like to be a money consultant for retirement plans, helping institutions retirement plans succeed.

I am not sure though if Finance has the routine, predictability, and hours of 9-5/6 that accounting has.
Any insight on if an AS fits in this industry would be so helpful.
Thanks!.

This isn't so much a question but an observation.

First, let me qualify what I'm about to write by admitting I haven't yet received an official diagnosis of AS. After a lot of reading and research on the topic, though, I am lately struck by the inherent assumption that simply because they don't have Asperger's, NTs are great with people, i.e. they are good communicators, say all the right things and aren't self-centered jerks. Unless I've crossed paths with a lot of undiagnosed Aspies, this assumption about NTs is extremely misguided and perhaps overlooked by the Aspie community.

I don't think it can be stated too often: AS is a spectrum disorder. Whether you've been diagnosed or not, I think it's important not to lose sight of the fact that NTs can have just as many "people faults" as Aspies.

Neutral facial expressions and flat affects can be interpreted a lot of different ways, which is why the look can be interpreted as angry or upset. Assuming "normal people" are being "fake" could be interpreted as being snobby though. I didn't show a lot of emotion growing up, but I gave people the benefit of the doubt that their displays of emotion were genuine.

Just tell people you're relaxing your face muscles because you're just that relaxed, and that you'll be saving a fortune in botox in the future.

Janiss- in answer to your question, I did self injure mostly from elementary through teen years. I kept it hidden because it alarmed my parents, although I later found out my mom did the same thing and hid it from us. I can't speak for anyone else but I did it as a form of stress relief-I had an extremely stressful childhood thanks to undiagnosed Aspergers-not just me but I think my mom too. I think I did it because the pain was a way to focus on one sensory input that drowned out other sensory or emotional overload. It never meant I was suicidal or anything, and didn't do it to get attention, and I have very rarely done it as an adult.

Btw physical injury provokes natural endorphins in the body, which reduce stress.

On the hand holding thing-that would just have made me more agitated because I can't communicate my emotions well and don't like being touched when I am stressed. Remember touch is a sensory input, so can be an additional stress. The feelings/thoughts are unaffected by manual intervention. Learning that it was ok to go do something distracting like go alone to a movie or lose myself in drawing/painting while listening to repetitive music to de-stress helped much more.

I think the key is to help the person find more healthy outlets for stress relief, as well as suggesting a safe place and method to reduce sensory overload.
I hope this is helpful.

Currently compiling these into a list of Questions and (multiple)Answers if anyone is interested?

I've never really gotten that impression, but I haven't hanged around to much on Wrong Planet and other Aspie sites, so maybe it is there. I think its really that on average, NTs will have better social skills then Aspies, really just because Aspergers' Syndrome means weaker social skill natrual ability. But this isn't always the case. There are plenty of very awkward NTs, and there are certainly some Aspies who have become charismatic and suave with hard work. They definetly aren't nicer, I'd say because of the strong need to follow rules and their "code of honor", Aspies, tend to be a little bit nicer. But they are less likely to come off as self-absorbed, because they are usually better at understanding others, and thus knowing what others need and how to respond then Aspies.

Here is my question, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but after reasearching asperger's because I think my son may have it. That seem to describe me better. Is it possible I was misdiagnosed or have both?

That's a good idea!

Now now, to be fair, I don't think aspies want to think they're really as worthless as society's rejects and losers so it's understandable they'd avoid thinking about that group.

It's entirely possible that you have both or were misdiagnosed, I suppose.

Let's look at what the major symptoms are.



Now, there's this thing called "Medical Student Syndrome." (You can look it up on Wikipedia-- I tried to link to it, but I haven't been a member long enough to post links.) Basically, reading about something will make you see the symptoms in yourself, and the thing about that is that, with psychology, we basically all have the symptoms in some degree, but it has to be turned up to eleven to be diagnosed.

For example, everyone, Aspies and NTs alike, have intense interests of some kind that they will pursue in favor of doing other things. It just depends on how far you let that go.

We also all have routines of some kind. Mine is "Sleep, wake up, brush teeth, go to work, come home, watch TV/get online, go to sleep," more or less. The question is how upset you are when the routine is broken-- I would be disappointed if my internet/TV time were taken away one day (like maybe I have to work late or go shopping or something), but I would mostly be fine. Someone with ASD might be upset to the point of throwing a tantrum until the routine is back together.

Anyway, I suppose what I'm saying here is that your best shot is to see a doctor and say that you think you've been misdiagnosed, to see what he/she thinks of it. The best any of us can say is that it's possible.

I am an NT mother to a toddler who is on the spectrum. I would like to ask the adult aspies how you were when you were toddlers? I have learned that the noticeable difference of symptoms to be diagnosed as classic autism or Asperger's is whether or not there is delay in language. My son is now 25 months old...no proper words yet spoken, only jargons...he takes my hand and lead me to "what" he wants...but the amazing thing is he can already say all the letters of the alphabet if shown, also some colors and shapes...I have also read that symptoms of toddler asperger's is having single words used at 2 yrs old and communicative phrases are used at 3 yrs old. How was your language development when you were toddlers?

When I was a toddler, I was able to sing the alphabet song in its entirety. I also started reading at age 3, but I have hyperlexia. I also melted down a lot, but this is true for normal toddlers too. I remember being tactile defensive; I didn't like having my hair combed, or the color red, or certain textures of food.

My question goes for the adults on the spectrum...
I used to work with a little girl diagnosed with Autism who has a hard time keeping her clothes on; mainly she insists on having her bottom uncovered( she tries to pull down her pants and diaper), and because of this she has to wear a belt for most of the time. Even at night, after she goes to bed parents often find her naked.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?

If you're like my stepsister... it's the "neutral" expression. It LOOKS annoyed or frustrated and trying to hold it in (to an NT). I mean, in a non-Aspie has a tight, unchanging expression, it means annoyed, frustrated, stressed out, pissed off, not happy with the situation, things along those lines and trying not to show it. So when an NT asks, they're expressing concern and trying to be nice. They're looking for what might be upsetting you. Like you're sending them a false signal.

I've noticed this about my stepsister (she's an Aspie)--she's easier to sketch than most people! Most people (presumbably NTs) change expressions faster and more often!