Why do Aspies not know what to do with their arms?

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I often feel as if my arms don't quite belong with my body, actually... it is a very strange sensation to be standing there, and suddenly become aware of feeling as if my arms are too long and dangly, and apelike. I never know what to do with them, to be honest. I have been told I walk oddly, as I swing my arms a lot as opposed to not at all, giving a slightly military look. Sometimes though, they just hang still when I am walking. My arms are most an issue if I am standing still for any reason, then I start to feel uncomfortable and wrong.

yeah same here, they end up everywhere. I touch my face a lot too and my head and ears.

yep same here. i have also been told my gait is not fluid.

i walk now usually with one arm behind my back, seems to help a little.

yepp, I never know what to do with my hands. It gets frustrating sometimes when I have to concentrate on what a person is saying and I am thinking what to do with my hands and arms and how I should be standing and all that. I have asked a few family members if they had this problem and they just say, "no that's weird."

when I am in class I find myself always rubbing the sides of my face with both hands the whole time and I have to stop myself. I also have a hard time trying to find a way to sit. I really do not like sitting on chairs..especially the chairs at schools.

Interesting observation: it only feels weird in the presence of other people. Whenever I'm alone I have no issues wondering what to do with my arms.

Yes - why is that ? I tend to have my arms crossed, which I've learned indicates anger\defensive body language. But otherwise I just don't know what to do.

Sometimes I get restless arms at night - they just feel all nervy and its terrible to try and sleep. I end up lying on an arm to try and get rid of the feeling.

Supposedly NTs tend to use arm and hand gestures and/or positioning to indicate mood and intensity of emotion or belief. Sadly, I've often been told that I use my hands and arms in a manner that displays inconsiderate or angry emotion towards someone, even when there is no anger or disapproval of the person.

I've also been told that I cross my arms too much when sitting and listening. That it looks combattive at times. Which I don't intend of course; I cross my arms when I'm trying to listen and trying to not lose track of the conversation.

I want to cut one of my fingers off, not because i'm suicidal or anything but i just always wanted to do it for some reason.
I also want to get hit by a car "accidently". like when i'm walking

My son swings his arms when his hands are not in use. I tend to think of it as he "knows" exactly what to do with his arms. It makes him happy to swing his arms, so he swings his arms. When he swings his arms, he is usually talking to himself and happy. If he is not swinging his arms and he's not doing anything, it makes him uncomfortable.

I've taught him that in public, there is one way to swing your arms, and when you are with loved ones and in private, swing as you will. This seems to have worked well for us.

I say embrace the swinging. Why is it necessarily a negative thing?

Edited to add: By swinging arms a different way in public, we've given him a yo-yo and he tries doing tricks with it while we are out. I give him things that he can swing in public that are perfectly acceptable and "normal". He has told me recently that he wants to be like this friend or that friend. I am currently interpreting this to mean he wants to fit in better. And so far, it seems to have made him super happy.

Greetings.

I don't know if I have to keep saying this, but I'm 54 w/3 grandkids/just diagnosed and questioning really hard.
My new special interest is to figure out if I belong here, won't be surprised if I don't, as I never have anywhere else, either.
And then to analyze what that means. Perhaps there's a place I could put this most pertinent of information, I don't do fora well.

My experience is growing up with robust ADHD and being very fidgety with all my extremities, plus I ticked, even not on the medicine. As I was getting off the medication, at 17 I joined the US Army. They taught me well what to do with every part part of my body. Eyes, too, but I digress. They say I looked like i was marching everywhere I walked for years afterwards. I speed walk everywhere I walk now, and it has it's own typical forms of movement, no problem.

Standing at rest, sitting or anything where your hands may as well be unoccupied, mine usually are with knuckle cracking, drumming, steepling etc.

I never carry just one grocery bags. It feels like I must give attention to how I'm walking to do it right.

I cannot stand to find things in my pocket. Ruined a few pockets that way. I dread having to stick my hand into my wife's purse to fish for the keys, or something. I can't tolerate it for long, it's so frustrating, and I usually end up bringing it to her befor I manage to break something in it.

Sorry this is mostly about hands. May I entreat anyone who reads this to tell me if this sounds like your experience?

Thank you for your kind attention.

I still have no idea what it means when I read that autistic people don't know what to do with their arms. All I think is "what? They are on me, I use them all the time to use the computer and to play video games, to grab stuff, to carry, to clean with, etc. You need arms to do all these things."

Of course I know what to do with my arms. I use them in a variety of ways each day.

I think the question is more about what you do with your arms/hands when at rest or when you don't naturally have anything to do with them, during a conversation for example.

I tend to cross my arms in conversation (which, according to body language, is supposed to be a "bad thing") or stick my hands in my pockets. Otherwise, they just hand down by my sides becoming more and more noticeable, to me at least, until I'm no longer paying attention to the conversation and instead worrying about what to do with my arms Places this happens: conversations, sitting watching tv, standing in a queue.

I used to do an "Al Bundy" when watching tv - I'd stick my right hand down the front of my trousers. Apparently, this is another "bad thing"

We all have funny walks i think but we dont realize it lol