Amazing how nobody likes you, even if you're attractive

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I don't think awkwardly unattractive people are attractive to anyone... including other aspies. If anything, even an understanding mind would be just that... understanding, but unless one is uber lonely and looking to couple with any person who is interested... one can be turned off subconsciously without knowing why they don't like you, just because of your awkward, quirkiness, or nervousness is making the situation uncomfortable.

also, I've heard its like 70% of sexually active single women sleep with only 30% of single men. Or in other words... of those singles who are sexually active, far more women get to sleep with someone else then single men. It is not difficult for women because men care more about physical attraction then social value. There are so many decent looking single women, but there are so few socially attractive single men, and the pool of choices are smaller. Women are lucky in that regard(some of them differ).

I don't know if getting a social life will do anything either.

*guilty* For a while, I was showing hostility to neurotypicals because I'm really supportive of the autistic cause but now I realize I'm probably NT (I'm still really supportive). A most peculiar one, though, to wit someone else who was talking about me.

well i'm one of those unattractive awkward people (i'm not technically physically ugly, in fact quite the opposite, but i get called "weird looking" a lot or that i look/act intense)...and in 2 years span i've dated 2 women that were well above average looking and had good personalities and didn't judge me...so there is hope...just that it takes A LOT of rejections to hear a "yes" and I don't think a lot of guys on this site are willing to tolerate the rejections and lack of reception from the women they talk to whether in real life or online.

i've become desensitized to the rejection and just blame it on them finding me unattractive or awkward or being unavailable. the thing that most guys don't realize is, unless you're at a bar or a club or something, the worst a woman is going to do is allude to the fact that she has a boyfriend. even the coldest of women wouldn't chew out a guy for just trying as long as he was polite about it.

Yeah, I think this is why some fan girls swoon over anime characters. They have weird ideas and mannerisms sometimes but confidence to back it up. If anyone plays ff7 there's a psycho killer in that game who girls swoon over to this day, my gf included. I can't talk tho because i'm sure there's been a psycho anime chick i've liked at one point.

But yeah, girls are more likely to drop hints if you're slightly above average in the looks department. You'd have to be tall 5'11-6'0 w/six pack abs in order in order to really make a difference, even then it'd STILL require social skill.

The way girls even are forced to categorize guys is different on a general level, example a woman walks to her car alone after getting off of work, they don't presume or care if some other woman is trying to harass them at their car, they presume its a guy. They for the most part are not going to just come up to some guy.

Its been posted but girls don't JUST like douches (some possibly do) girls like to be made to feel secure--I don't mean they need physical protection, I mean they'd like to feel emotionally secure in their relationships.

Well, did you try quirky women? They'd probably suit quirky guys better.

I suppose the problem with quirky women is they're not to be found at typical places like parties or bars. You've got to go to library, bookstores, advanced maths or philosophy classes...etc. Oh ya and I think online dating is a good option, too. My aspie brother scored a wife exactly as he wished (which is as different from me as possible). The thing is even quirky guys prefer "normal" girls a lot of the time, the kind that dress fashionably and wear makeup and have loads of giggly girl friends. Guys think they're supposed to go after girls like that, even if they don't suit his own personality. I've seen quite a few guys make that kind of mistakes - basically going after the prettiest woman who'd have him regardless of what kind of person she is, marry her before she could change her mind, followed with a couple of babies. Then they share many years of constant arguments and misunderstandings. It's probably much better and easier to stay alone.

The two girls I dated were pretty and feminine, but neither particularly cared about fashion. They didn't dress scrubby...but they weren't the shopping, lots of make up type women, but weren't tom boys either. Still had misunderstandings with them...just not as many as I would with the super girly girls (who wouldn't want me and I'm usually not into them anyway.) My dream woman would be someone like Roz from Frasier or Elaine from Seinfeld.

Well of course. To NTs, it's like encountering a possessed person or one from Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. Can't quite put a finger on it, but something about this person is just wrong.

I'm the opposite - amazing how men like me yet I'm unattractive.

Seriously? In another thread, you said you dressed like a prima donna because you're so hot.

I never used the word ''hot''. I thought I was attractive, I mean, I didn't think I was ugly like I've seen some people around. But the other day I caught myself in the mirror and looked at my two front teeth, which are big when I smile and I have to use all the muscles in my face just to shut my mouth, which I assume is ugly.

In Britain, that seems pretty normal. In America, it'd stand out as physically ugly though most guys wouldn't care anyway. Usually only the catty women care about small details like that.

If that's happening, odds are you just have low self esteem.

I'd be careful - there are a lot of creeps out there who prey on pretty girls with low self esteem.

I know that. It's scary because I find it major hard to say ''no'' and give reasons, even though I can fully see all the signs and know when exactly the right time is to start standing up for myself. But I just find it hard to do so. It's a weakness of mine. This is where I hate being myself. I am too nice and too thin-skinned. But, I suppose I find most other forms of social interaction easy and natural, and I've learnt the rest myself, so as an Aspie, there's got to be something there that I have a weakness on.

I know lots of pretty NT girls with low self-esteem too, who are being ''owned'' by men. It's happening to my own cousin. But she cakes a load of make-up on, and uses nail-varnish, and has her hair all styled beautifully, and dyed blonde. I'm not going to start doing all that, because, in the long run, that is actually not good for someone with low self-esteem, because men just look at the outside of them and not care about the inside (unless they like you for who you are and not what you just look like).


What thread was that in, anyway?

I'm pretty average, but I had the exact opposite problem. I'd get hit on and flirted with and fail to recognize it. In 20/20 hindsight, I used to have women park themselves on my lap and tell me how sweet I was and invite me to drive them home. I would and I'd obliviously drop them off, make sure they got into their house ok and I'd drive home. My friends would then tell me what an idiot I was the next day. In one case I got yelled at by a woman's friends because she apparently was a basket case after "acting like such a slut and being rejected". Even in retrospect, I think that I missed something on that one.

Usually I'd just get tagged as shy, sweet and quirky. The fact that I never hit on anyone was probably a big plus and a challenge to some. I'd also always be the nice guy who'd be helping rather than exploiting the drunk women. I was the guy on hair holding and cold cloth duty while the other guys were hunting. It was more out of a need to be useful and to get out of the crowd than anything else. But it somehow got out on the secret women's information network that a was a nice, non-threatening guy.

I have the reverse, I'm OK looking, but I'm a little bulky at 6 foot 4 and 240 lbs ( 109 kg ) but I sometimes have girls show what could be an interest in me, repeatedly even after they know I'm weird... But I just can't figure it out and I kinda deny it and downplay it subconsciously Lol I would love for it to be true that girls like me but I just can't imagine it being that way. I guess I'll figure it out sooner or later

If they would just tell me it would be a lot easier!

You need to go to a strip club, my friend...

...where you are the diamond in the rough, and you can throw all the above-stated garbage out the window where it belongs.

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