'We are all somewhere on the spectrum'

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'We are all somewhere on the spectrum' - Has anybody come across this or similar statement from NT's - usually very 'well-meaning'?

A variation I've heard is 'we are all a little bit Autistic'.

I'm not talking about 'autistic traits' here, which might well be valid in families with an AS history.

What are your thoughts on it?

How do you reply* to such a statement?

*'Reply' here does not include valid physical violence. Trying to be neutral here. Doing good?

I find it really annoying because it makes me feel like people are trying to lessen my problems. I also don't think this is true because if it was, surely then everyone would understand how difficult it is to be autistic? Another one that bugs me is when people say everyone is a little 'OCD' or says they have OCD when they really don't.

I respond to it first by telling people more information about AS but if that just gives a barrage of 'but I do that too' then I just go, 'fine, then live in ignorance' and walk away.

Sorry about my poor grammar/spelling today I have a lot on my mind and my fingers are ticcing

Last time I was at the doctor he said that having aspergers was now "fashionable." Like anyone can find a place here. The issue of why someone would want to join a group of outcasts is not addressed.

I have heard this from a few people, it enrages me, and I don't easily become angry! I was told this by my counsellor of all people, who seemed to think that because I look ok on the outside, there can't be a problem on the inside, and I should stop going on about it!

I think this is the downside of a very successful campaign to increase the profile of autism, everybody now knows a little bit about it, and the little bit they know resonates with them slightly. They then feel they are displaying empathy when they say so.

This particular phrase has come up when I have told people who know me well that I have aspergers, and after I tried to explain how it affects me, and seemed to mark the end of that conversation for the other person. I assume that this is because it's uncomfortable for people to find out that I have a disability they didn't know about. They prefer it if the disabled stay 'over there' somewhere, rather than in their lives.

Denying my disability serves the purpose of putting things back in their right place, dealing with an awkward moment they've never had to deal with before, and ending all discussion of said topic.

I'm sure that there are still gay people who get to hear similar stuff when they 'come out' to friends and family...

I've had to suffer through the "oh, everyone has that" attitude ever since I've been in and out of therapy for my problems. Oh, everyone has some social anxiety. Oh, everyone hates loud noises. Oh, everyone fidgets. Oh, everyone daydreams.

Oh, f**k you.

That sounds very reasonable and restrained to me . Honestly.

Restrained, I guess, in the sense that I should punch them in the mouth but don't because I don't want to go to jail again.

Well we all might be a little bit autistic but not all of us are a little bit NT.

I've not encountered such a statement in recent times. Previously I would just respond to like statements by thinking to myself what BS the person was spouting, and how unnecessary it was for them to attempt to make me feel more "normal".

Now I think I would politely correct them.

This is the one that really bugs me. It essentially denies every obstacle that an autistic person may have in life in comparison to "average" people. That's some ignorance.

How do you do that? What frustrates me is that I don't know a way of disagreeing that will be listened to. The NT 'That's your opinion' tactic or others.

I actually agree with it.

The genetics that make autism are almost certainly floating around in the general population, in the NTs' DNA. Some NTs have only a few chunks of autistic DNA; some have enough to create autistic traits. Some of those autistic genes make artists and scientists and introverted eccentrics, still NT but with some autistic traits... You put the right NTs together and they pass on the right DNA, and you get an autistic baby.

So, in a way, yeah--we're all a little autistic. Autism is an extreme version of traits found in the general population. The autism spectrum extends quite smoothly into the typical.

Quite a few disorders are like that--a continuum with a fuzzy sort of fading into the typical general population, many more people with a mild version than with a severe version, even more people who can't be diagnosed but have minor detectable traits.

I kind of like that idea, because it means that autism isn't something foreign and scary; it's something that's part of the normal human gene pool, meant to be here, not some interloper that's taking over your child and turning him into an alien or something. Autistic people are just on the extreme end of the bell curve--a bell curve that contains all of humanity.

Well, if autism is a spectrum that gradually fades with the "normal personality variance" (and tihs vision of autism seems to be becoming dominant), the statement is technically true.

EDIT: Callista already said what I wanted to say with this post

Last edited by TPE2 on 10 Aug 2011, 3:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

In my opinion
You either have autism, or you don't have autism. How can we get the support we need when there is no clear line between AS and NT?

Last edited by ScientistOfSound on 10 Aug 2011, 3:52 am, edited 1 time in total.

It's like going up to someone with clinical depression and trying to empathise by saying "we all get depressed"...doesn't help. Technically everyone is on the spectrum because to not be you'd have to literally be psychic, but that doesn't make them autistic, just like feeling depressed at times doesn't mean you've got clinical depression..

Personally I find this vastly inaccurate but I see its NTs attempt to emphasize with us. Sure everyone makes social mistakes at some points in their life. But if you are not socially awkward to the point where it significantly interferes with your life, it is likely you are not on the spectrum. NT dont really get it and they will typically try to normalize all your problems.

That is true. I think the problem is the results. Such tiny differences, such massive, massive results.

Most people have no idea how different life is with even a small element of autism (or other difference). I often listen to BBC Radio 4 (the current affairs station). People talk about steady jobs and steady relationships and buying houses and regular sex and disposable income. If they lose even one of these luxuries, even though they retain all their other privileges, they act like it is a terrible crisis and the rest of us should have sympathy.

Being AS often (usually?) means having NONE of these things. Not one. It is like all a normal person's nightmares rolled into one. Such a tiny genetic variation, but results they cannot begin to comprehend.