I feel people are out to get me. Do you feel the same?

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I always feel like people are out to get me.

I think what's really going on is that people are actually out to help themselves, and will bone me over in a heartbeat if there is anything in it for them. Hence, they are out to get me.

YES!
I don't know if we are all are a bunch of like minded or just a similarly mentally unbalanced group, but I DO like this thread.

From learning how quick on the mark NTs can be with other people's body language, I feel very, very paranoied, knowing that they have eyes like hawks when it comes to non-verbal cues I subconsciously give off. Also, NTs don't believe in the saying, ''you can't judge a book by it's cover'', and sometimes this can be caused by lack of empathy. This is where I think ''Aspies lack empathy and NTs don't'' is either BS or a myth, because I actually have more empathy than most people do. If I see an odd-looking person in the street, I think of all sorts of reasons as to why they could be odd-looking, instead of just staring at them or giggling at them and then jumping to ridiculous conclusions that they're weird and that's that. Instead, I see an odd-looking person and just think, ''I don't know what his/her background circumstances are. He/she's just a stranger to me - I'm not going to judge them unless I know them. He/she could be feeling sad, or angry, or worried at this precise moment. Nobody's perfect.'' That sounds like empathy. But the faces I sometimes get from other women are diabolical, as though nothing enters their head except the words, ''she's weird!''

Like, where's their empathy???! !! !! !! !!

I think NT have very selective empathy, and only feel it for the most part for people in their "circle" and that AS types have an open empathy that can be overwhelming. As I get older, I have noticed some people I have met, while we are getting to know one another a little, have an expression that kind of lights up their eyes, a smile, on some quite predatory and scary, then they start testing boundaries, like wanting to borrow, break promises etc etc.

Just surprise them, they read us and think they will get an automatic yes, just say no. (I still say yes sometimes out of habit, but am getting better).

Maybe you are being hypervigilante which is similar to paranoia but unlike paranoia it has grounds. If people in the past have shown you they are out to get you then you are probably looking out for this all the time. I understand you because I do it too and I have had chest pains because of the anxiety involved. It doesn't happen often but it does happen. I often find it worst when I have been on antihistmines because of hay fever...not sure what that means.

yes, I feel like people are out to get me, and sometimes they really are.... sometimes not. But I always start from the premis that they are... learned from experience, presumably

I think there are threads on here about being hypersensitive to over the counter meds. I tried antihistimines for sleep for a while and was a mess, only use the nose spray (which nurses and such say NOT to use) when I get allergies.


I know I am hypervigilant, but part of it is that other people seem so stupid, trusting, ridiculous, back stabbing, gossipy etc.
Why "play nice" with people who are out to get what they want and look for "friends" to simply fulfill needs or wants, rather than shared interests and things in common?

Fact is, most women murdered are murdered by the man in their life (I have known three women murdered by their husbands). Won't get into my history.
To be fair, I have known many women who were damned crazy, abusive, and horrid to their husbands. People are just a mess!

My old girlfriend was a social butterfly, had no problems chatting up a room full of people, loved going to parties and being in lively social situations, and knew how to play the game. She also told me she didn't understand empathy. She said she didn't experience it.

I question the "NTs have empathy, ASs don't have empathy" thing either. Not being able to correctly read someone's facial cues doesn't mean you're incapable of putting yourself in their shoes. But someone who experiences empathy will find it difficult to have a conversation with someone who doesn't. What I intended as shared experiences, she interpreted as one-upping, and it created a barrier to communication.

My ex was a bit vain, a bit pompous, and a bit superficial, but she also turned out to be a pretty loyal girlfriend, an annoying but talented debater, and a blast to spend time with. Turns out there are no stereotypical nice people, so it's difficult to judge someone without actually knowing them first.

I once read that empathy was not a matter of feeling someone else's emotions, but rather an inward-looking "I would feel like this if that happened to me." So, when your friend's father dies, you empathise not with that person because you are sad that his father died but because you feel as if your own father has died. I thought this was madness, personally, but it did struck a chord with me and I think this might actually be the difference between NT empathy and AS empathy: when my friend's father died, I just felt horrible for her in general. It had nothing to do with thinking about my own father.