crying, or rather, not crying, with AS

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So this is my first post, be gentle! I'm undiagnosed(for financial reasons) but I very clearly display many aspects associated with AS. However there's one thing that's always on my mind. I can't cry, even when alone in my room, at least not for anything real. Hell, I cried when Meredith died on greys anatomy, and still do whenever I watch that episode... But when my grandmother(with whom I was thoroughly attached) died, I was a brick wall when it came to any emotions.

When I was a baby, my mother said I rarely cried, but doctors didn't think anything of it beyond that I was a "complacent" infant. If I fell, I'd get a look of stark pain on my face, but never shed a tear. I could go on with instances that show my inability to cry for reality but then I'd be talking for days.

I (have) read a lot of psychiatry/psychology books and gathered from them that I'm more comfortable expressing my emotions as a spectator, rather than a participant, and this may be the cause, but, with the recent discovery that I may (I only say may because I'm not officially diagnosed but it's fairly obvious..) have AS, I think they may be more related than I can fathom at this point. So long winded post aside, I'm wondering if this is atypical, or common behavior for someone with AS, and hope someone here can help me come to some kind of logical conclusion.

I can't really help you here, since I cry a lot. I used to cry when I fell over as a baby and a child aswell.

I thought Aspies cried all the time?

Aspies have differences in nonverbal communication. I suspect your lack of crying has nothing to do with repression or being unfeeling (since you've made it clear you do feel the same feelings underneath) but simply a quirk of how you communicate.

I cry a lot, but I also often get really upset without crying. Wailing is a more consistent indicator of sadness in me than crying.

I used to cry a lot, but never at appropriate times. For example, I cried in nearly every single class from Kindergarten all the way through 12 grade because of stress, but when I went to my grandmothers funeral and when I found out my favorite uncle died, I don't think I cried at all. It's not like I was trying to hold it in either. Crying just seemed like such a waste of time.

My 14 year-old son with Autism has only cried a couple of times in his life. I remember once was when he cat died. But he experiences the full range of human emotions--I know from conversations with him and observations of his behavior changes (usually withdrawal or displaced anger--blaming others) when he is hurt.

I have often wondered why this is. My hunch is it has nothing to do with his emotional life. I'm guessing it has to do with his neurology not his psychology. But I don't know how this might really work.

Any ideas? Research? Experiences?

I have cried perhaps 4 times this year so far, 3 of those times was on the same day when I was very fragile, the last time was only sort of getting teary eyed.

2 of the times was triggered by a song, 2 was triggered by a difficult to cope with event.
This is probably odd from an NT's perspective since my father died (didnt cry for it) and I've been through a lot this year, I would have been perfectly justified crying a lot more.

One thing I have noted about my childhood is that i very rarely cried due to pain, whenever I fell out on the street with the other kids I was notorious for never ever shedding a tear - they thought it was because I was being tough, but I'm not like that. There was one time I recall crying and it was because an adult was bullying me because I said something along the lines of "the Iraq war is unjust" I was like 8.

(I was a very political little guy)

i rarely cry myself, but i feel as if i need to be the solid rock others can come to for support; can't do that if you are crying yourself

I can force myself to cry but I haven't had a genuine bawl for 6 years and only twice that I can remember before then. I simply don't feel the compulsion to cry, sometimes I get that surge that leads to crying but it doesn't go further than that. Not crying is most deffinately not a part of autism but there may be an underlying factor that is since crying is an expression of emotion.

Welcome to WP.

I can't cry. At all. I think I'm immune to crying and vomiting.

I used to cry every single day but I think I've just used up my life's supply of tears.

I cry more than the average person. I'm a very sensitive person and this isn't a joke in case someone is wondering. I've been this way my entire life. I also don't post about my special interests on WP as much anymore, because I feel that there's a slightly higher functioning shark around the corner waiting to pounce on me and I retaliate in order to dull my tender emotions so I can get to sleep or on with the rest of the day.

Thanks for all the replies. It makes me so much more comfortable knowing there's a level of diversity in aspies when it comes to this. It just hurt when my grandfather said (i overheard) to a cousin "the brat didn't even look sad she died" in what was a rather angry tone, i withdrew from family events after that so as to avoid heavily tones situations. Looking forward, my mother is rather ill, and I simply don't know if I could take not showing some emotion if she passes. I've always been a really good actor, and with a great ability for observation I know what's appropriate and what's not, now, but it's hard to feign emotion when it's not really there. Especially sadness. It's always made me question if there was something wrong with me but as I read more stories from people with AS, and their experiences, I'm only forced to see more of myself. Once I save enough money to see a doctor I'll get the closure I require, I suppose.

@lecks I can also force myself to cry, but I've been told I seem "fake" when I do, people tell me I have this solid look with tears. But like I said, I've become a talented actor. So my closest friends just think I have more positive or negative quirks than most people they know.

The last time I remember actually crying as a result of emotions was almost exactly two years ago, give or take a few weeks. My dad and I were playing video games, and I got mad and quit (possibly in a meltdown). I went upstairs to my room to be by myself. About 10 minutes later he came in and started talking about how he just wanted to spend time with me. He was complaining about the way I was avoiding being around him. This was before I knew about AS, so I had no idea what was even going on in my own mind. It really made me feel like s***. I was clueless as to what to say; I could not keep myself from crying.

I didn't cry when my grandmother died (with whom I was close) either. But I know something was going on because I shut down socially to the point where I wouldn't talk to or otherwise interact with anyone who didn't live in this house, and when I was pushed to it gave me panic attacks. It wasn't social anxiety (I don't have it) but I was just "more autistic" than usual.

As for crying, I tend to mostly cry when I am angry, which has happened for the past two days in a row, and is really frustrating when I am trying to make a clear argument to point out why the person I am talking to is in the wrong. So I just left the argument hanging.

Anyway, I don't cry when it is typical for people.

I always used to cry randomly when I was little, but my (probably aspergers) parents spanked that out of me real good.

I have never cried again. I used to be able to bring on the tears at any time, but now, my tear ducts are sealed shut or something.

I have never actually cried. I've been really sad, and have looked dreadful in the way a crying person does, but no actual tears. I find it rather strange.

I have never actually cried. I've been really sad, and have looked dreadful in the way a crying person does, but no actual tears. I find it rather strange.