Is this normal?

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I was just wondering if it is normal to have varying levels of Autism. I always feel like I can function normally around my parents but yet when I'm alone, I become more withdrawn and tempted to escape. Like, depending on my mood, what's happening and how my mind is reacting to everything... I feel like I'm usually more NT than autistic... but when I remember the things I do as an autistic, it's like... "I really am autistic". I never really know if I am High functioning, medium functioning or low functioning.

Online, I am more intelligent and yes, as you can see I do type well for someone with developmental/learning delays. But in public or offline, I hardly talk at all except to my parents and I am more withdrawn from society. I tend to be in my own world and I have trouble with expression such as verbal and emotional expression. I cut myself a lot by digging my nails in my skin when I get so overwhelmed by trapped emotions.

It's like... sometimes I feel normal and highly functioning because most of the time I can deal with change, sensory issues and all that. I can cover my ears if something is loud and I don't meltdown because of those sounds. I meltdown more when I am placed in negative situations where I can't have any control over what is going on. I also hate when something changes in my routine... especially online when say... facebook changes and I'm not prepared for that change, my mind kind of freaks out... I get stuck in the routine of facebook's previous look that those changes bother me.

Or other times when my parent's make plans and then at the last minute call them off, I get really upset and have meltdowns. In public, I am extremely socially-awkward and don't even talk to anyone. I feel like a child sometimes who doesn't even fit in with adults around me because they make me really uncomfortable.

I mean does anyone else ever have those varying levels of Autism where they are normal one day and then completely unable function the next day? (Sorry for rambling, I got caught up explaining how it is for me).

There is nothing wrong with you. I don't know how I will be from one day to the next, and I cannot always tell when something will set me off.

Re-evaluating my varying degrees of severity in aspieness is something that I do nearly every hour.

Well my IQ is under eighty... so that's what gets me. I mean online, I seem smarter than I really am but offline I'm the opposite. I just wonder because I really can't find that much on High Functioning autism or even Medium-functioning autism to figure out where I stand. D:

There are certain people I am more normal around. I can talk easily with my parents, especially my Mom. Well both really, my Mom and I just have more to say to each other, I guess. When I am in public though, I withdraw into myself because I do not know how to communicate with the rest of the world. I almost seem non-verbal sometimes, unless I happen to be talking to my parents. I have good days and bad as well, but most of the time, I am just severe HFA (or MFA).

I think this is pretty much a human trait. There are so many factors that influence peoples behavior: mood, health, lack of sleep, diet, etc. that it is pretty normal to have some days where you feel and function better, while other days where you feel and function worse. I don't think you could find a single person on the planet that doesn't have good days and bad days. Try to figure out where you are 'on average' and not what you are like at your best and at your worst.

IQ is only a number...
i akso vary in severenety from hour to hour, and with it, so does my IQ, AQ, aspie quotient... all depending in how much of my energy i can spare for my coping mechanisms.

Hello I Heart,

You sound a lot like my teen age son. I am trying to work out a better way to help him and, hopefully, others like him and would love to get input from people on the Spectrum who may have had a similar experience.

1. IQ around 80. Yes.
But I don't think this means he is not smart. I think it means IQ tests are biased in favor of people with normally developing language and work against people with his speech and language challenges.

No doubt he has learning disabilities. He works 10 times harder to learn. But work he does. And the results are A+ in math and music--but not in reading.


2. Fluent in meaningful language with Mom and confused about language with others. Yes.
See New York Times Aug 1, 2011 by Pam Belluck on a recent study at M.I.T. about the difficulty people with Dyslexia have identifying the voices of other people. The researchers compared Dyslexics with a control group and asked each group to identify a speaker in English and another in Mandarin. The control group identified 50% of the speakers of Mandarin accurately and 70% of the English speakers accurately. Dyslexics identified only 50% of the English speakers accurately.

Sorry. I don't know how to give the link to this article. Can anyone tell me how to find links?

Anyway, it seems my son has a lot in common with learners of other languages.

So, I am thinking it would be great to have some kind of small conversational English group for him--just like for people learning 2nd languages. (My background is ESL teaching to adults) In teaching conversation, I noticed it was difficult for them to generalize from learning to hear English from my voice to hearing others. So I would gradually bring in regular visitors for short conversations so they could get used to new voices. I do something like this with my son on a casual basis already.

Do you think this kind of approach might be helpful to others with ASD?

Totally normal, if you're autistic! Nothing to worry about. I'm exactly the same way, and so are many other people. I skills and abilities are all over the place from day to day, hour to hour.

Yeah, its completely normal to have periods of time during which you feel 'more autistic' or 'less autistic'.

These can both be short term - something in particular that you have issues with that you don't normally have issues with triggering it, and long term - overall stress and such causing you to be worse than normal.

Certain people I can be around and not have major issues, others are just hard to be around.

I've also had periods of time where I was incredibly visible autistic. I'm feeling like I'm falling into one of those right now, and really hoping to get ways to help me cope that aren't just being on edge all the time. Last time that happened it was about 6 months of my functioning level dropping and more of the severity showing through - part of me curious whether I would have been given a diagnosis at that time they would have labeled me as HFA rather than AS, as the distinction seems to be often stereotypes about functioning levels.

I am mostly normal but then my traits come out.

I seem to be more NT around my parents. When they come and visit, I just want to spend time with them than be alone. But I bet when they move back, I won't be that way all the time because they be living in the same area so I won't need to be with them because I could see them any weekend.

My anxiety seems to make my traits seem worse, especially when I am hungry.

My eye contact works off and on too. In fact all of my traits seem to be plus and minuses. None of them are black and white. They come and go. I have learned to be more flexible over the years and deal with change so I have came to a point where I don't freak out and meltdown and get anxiety. It's rare now when it happens.

Well, the thing is that my parents keep saying how my autism is only getting worse instead of better. It just makes me wonder what they mean by this. I mean they hardly even know what its like for me and I know its probably hard for them at times. But I just wonder if its still just the same as it as been or it really is getting worse.

I mean I still can't do daily chores such as the cleaning, I'm starting to do my own laundry or learning how to wash things. I can't cook... mostly because of heat intolerance that leads to a huge fear of the stove. I can use the microwave so yeah I do cook some but I can't hold a job or go to college due to severe emotional issues and really stress intolerant... I'm terrible at math and still hold at a fourth grade level... except I'm terrible at fractions, money and anything above that.

I also have trouble with abstract questions. Sometimes I start crying when people ask them and I get panicky. I mean it varies a lot depending on so many things. I can act normal most of the time, talking normal to friends online, to my parents but when it comes to expressing my feelings, emotions or whatever... my mind goes blank.

What's worse is when I ask people and they see me right they always think, "How can you be disabled when you write so well? I highly doubt you have the mental age of an eleven-year-old." I mean I know my writing is superior but what most people don't understand is that's my only means of communicating when explaining something that becomes a huge challenge when I speak verbally.

It really makes me wonder what it really means and it just intrigues me to know. I mean maybe you guys are right, I should keep tabs on myself... maybe start an autistic journal and blog everything that happens to me. The only drawback is remembering and getting myself to write everyday... unless you guys have other suggestions.

It would be nice if there was an autism tracker that would let you keep track of the autistic tendencies that you have. I'm a very disorganized person so keeping tidy and neat is like teaching a fish how to fly. It would be nearly impossible to keep up with what I do without constant reminders and my parents won't bother reminding me because they would find it really silly even if I explained to them...

A spectrum (plural spectra or spectrums) is a condition that is not limited to a specific set of values but can vary infinitely within a continuum.

Of course it's normal. Everyone has different levels of everything. Don't let this label tie you to things that you aren't, or even things that you think you are.

You are you, and you're different from every other person ever. No one on this planet is the same at home as they are in public.

You think that's bad try to live with co-morbid disorders and all around mental weirdness from being on medications.

Some days I feel more autistic and others not so much. I almost always feel my ADHD and some days it's worse. And to make matters worse I'm combined which means for a few days I can be hyperactive and the next I can be just the opposite.
Then the hallucinations and paranoia spikes.
Sometimes I laugh at people when in times of stress. Or I want them to understand me. Or I beginning hating them and completely ignore them.
And then depression comes out of nowhere.
And then I'm super dooper happy again.