Talking to psych about AS

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After a few weeks enduring some bad stress (the kind with very definite physical symptoms), I was informed that our collective bargaining agreement at work allowed us to "get help" for emotional and psychological issues. Expecting some lame failed social worker asking me to draw my feelings and talk to a stuffed animal, I made an appointment, figuring I was effectively paying for it anyway.

Turned out the guy I got is a clinical psychologist. I was mostly there to resolve the stress; he said we would be trying CBT to try and get me out of maladaptive thought patterns in dealing with people being stupid or unethical, breaking what he called my "very strong sense of social justice".

I also mentioned my strong suspicion I have AS (shared by various people I know, including my mother and an aunt), as it is something of a source of stress to me right now, and why I think that I might have it, he didn't go too deeply into it (probably because we only had an hour), but after I went over all of that he said something like "Well, you're certainly different..."

I have another appointment with him in a couple of days. Are there things I should definitely bring up? Should I mention my scores on the AQ and EQ? Just let him lead it? I don't expect he will go into a full diagnostic process and will probably say there's no point because I'm functioning well enough but I would like some kind of explanation for why my brain works the way it does.

Oh, and I checked, it's independant of my employer, all they know is that an employee sought help and maybe get some aggregated anonymous stats later. I asked very specific questions on this topic of the receptionist and the psych.

I think it's worthwhile to talk to him about it, and bring up your AQ and EQ test results. I remember when I was initially discussing the possibility that I might be on the spectrum to my therapist, I did something similar and it helped give her some context.

Mind you, though, he's probably not qualified to give you an actual diagnosis. He might be able to give you some direction regarding your suspicions but it doesn't sound like he's trained in that specific area but is more of a generalist therapist. That was basically my therapist, too. She was able to say, yes, I think you're on the spectrum, but couldn't make it official. Usually when a therapist is giving you diagnostics, you'd have to sit through at least one test.

Having a sense of direction can be helpful though, if you want to get an official diagnosis [which I think isn't a bad thing, really].

You should bring up your childhood in great detail. That should help your therapist assess you for ASD.

I saw him again yesterday. He talked me through a better thought pattern to deal with idiots and other people who do wrong (in my mind, usually, "bad") things, and a relaxation technique involving deep "stomach-breathing" while observing the sensations involved, like the movement of the stomach and chest, temperature of the air drawn in and air expelled, etc. Apparently, this stimulates the insula, a part of the brain which also regulates emotional state.

He didn't mention AS at all until I brought it up again. I mentioned to him a realisation I had from talking to a DXed adult Aspie (DXed because his son was) that I need to be myself or I'll worry myself to death, and realise I can let down many of the old schoolyard defence mechanisms in the adult world, worry less about whether what I want to say is too weird or too detailed and nobody likes a brainiac smartass, etc. and so drop a lot of my social anxiety. This Aspie told me he thought I was most definitely also an Aspie, which I relayed to the psych and he didn't attempt to contradict or question it, and just said in response to what I told him this other Aspie said "Well, you can't get better advice than that!" I told him about my childhood, my parents' and teachers' difficulties understanding why I got unusually angry and had occasional behavioural problems, combined with high intellect, inability to differentiate friendly ribbing from attempted serious insult until I was about 17 and he didn't really say much about that except that it seemed to be consistent with what I was dealing with as an adult. I finally asked him outright, "Do you think it's worthwhile for me to get diagnosed?" and he said no, that adult diagnosis was very unusual without functional problems requiring extended therapy, medication, aides, etc. and "We prefer not to label people".

So, while I'm pleased to have learned of the relaxation technique and to have been at least heard on the AS stuff, I'm not quite sure what to make of his reaction to said AS stuff. It seems fairly clear to me and several people I know who either are DXed (3 DXed people, relatives and close friends) that I have AS that has been combined and to an extent masked by SA as well, but none of these people are professionals. As I said to him, I don't need any of the things that we agreed were reasons to necessitate a full diagnosis, but I do need an answer to the question of why my brain is different, something obvious to me and many of those around me since I was a toddler...

So, what do you make of all that?

His reaction is very inline with the way I believe and the way many of the ASD doctors in my area also believe. If there is no major disfunction as a direct result, adult DX is expensive and not worth it. IF, you feel that your anxiety and other issues are (in fact) areas that you want to follow up on as an actual disability (and you have cause) then it could be justified as "worth" it. Also if you have a ton of money and can afford to lose the 1 plus K dollars to make youself feel better it might be worth it. But for the most part, you can treat the anxiety outside of the ASD DX with an awareness that you are ASD underneath it without spending the dollars....

It is your choice ultimately but I agree with him that the DX is not worth it.

Argh, doesn't your therapist know that Aspies like to have definitive answers? Ho-humming and hem-hawing just don't it for us. In fact, it's torture not to know.

I would say that you don't have to let your therapist's "We prefer not to label people" deter you from pursuing the neutral well-informed opinion that you're looking for. There's nothing shameful or stigmatizing about the AS label or any other ASD label. If you're autistic, then it's best to have the autistic label. For no other sake than the sake of accuracy and truth. Autistics have a fundamental need for accuracy and truth, so it's only natural that you should want to label yourself as what you believe yourself to be. Who cares if someone else prefers not to label people? If having the label brings you peace of mind, then there's nothing wrong with continuing to pursue it.