Are you proud of having Asperger's?
CockneyRebel
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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
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I'm not proud of my AS per say. I'm proud of the acheivements that I've made even though I'm on the spectrum and I'm proud of myself for being brave enough to open myself to the world about all the things about myself the way that I do every day on WP.
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The Family Enigma
I am not proud or ashamed of being on the spectrum. It just IS. How can I be proud of something I have absolutely no control over?
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Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)
MakaylaTheAspie
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Posts: 14,565
Location: O'er the land of the so-called free and the home of the self-proclaimed brave. (Oregon)
Ditto. I'm proud of the fact that I can think for myself and don't have to wait for the news to tell me how to feel about something.
But at the same time it sucks sometimes. It's lonely. When I first found out about this website, I remember thinking "Wow, what a fitting name..." I feel like I'm on the wrong planet most of the time. I can't relate to all this "omfg, who's jennifer lopez marrying this week?" and "look what britney spears did today" BS at all. I have NO interest in professional sports, and I don't understand how people can stand there and talk about sports all the time. Don't even get me started on those damn reality shows all over TV. In fact, as far as TV is concerned, the ONLY thing I like to watch anymore that's still on the air is South Park.
I find it very difficult to relate to people, and they apparently don't relate to me either. I piss people off all the time because of the way I word things when I never meant anything malicious in the first place(this is extremely frustrating as I try to be generally nice to people). Then when I try to explain what I did mean, it just makes things worse and people continue to just get pissed. At times I feel like no matter what I say, some douche is gonna get pissy, and sometimes I'd sooner just not say anything because of it. But of course, then I'm the weird creepy stalker guy cuz my mouth isn't constantly open.
I hate how the world is so focused on how everything looks or sounds and mostly fake BS and things like professional sports and celebrities instead of knowledge, intelligence, honesty, and integrity. The longer I live, the more I feel like child whose dreams have just been destroyed because he just found out santa claus/easter bunny/tooth fairy isn't real.
It's a bit of a double edged sword, really. But I think I'd rather be who I am than just another mindless drone who has to buy what everyone else is wearing, has to have the latest greatest gadget, and doesn't know how to find music to listen to without the radio and america's top 40 and MTV telling them what to listen to.
I'm content with who I am, and I am pleased with my accomplishments, but I am also displeased by my failures and shortcomings. I don't think that's pride, as much as acceptance.
"Pride", as used in this Biblical sense, colors the issue a bit. Rephrasing the original topic to replace with this "satisfied" or a lesser form of "proud" might be more appropriate. In any case, I'll agree that acceptance is probably the right word for my take on dealing with AS.
It's hard to work up a lot of enthusiasm for AS, even in its marginal form, that requires so many mental work-arounds and caution flags to function in the general population. Being a little different is one thing; being considered weird is another problem entirely. Some might actually like the isolation, but I consider it a lonely road to travel over the long haul.
That's the unsettling thing about AS; very few people really strive to be a hermit. In my case, I have no problem going to the neighborhood tavern, but won't sit at a seat next to a stranger unless it's the last empty stool at the bar. And there is no way that I'll say anything unless spoken to first, even if it's a neighbor or acquaintence.
IMO, having a lot of friends and the ability to create a large buddy network would be unbelievably wonderful. To quote Rick Harrison of Pawn Stars, though, that ain't gonna happen. It is possible to overcome the worst of the drawbacks of AS; I wish that I had my present minimal social skills about 30 years ago. By now, I'd more or less have both the intellect to excel at my profession and the instincts that most NT's seem to have accumulated by age 10.
I agree with some of the posters that there does seem to be original and unique thinking in many cases of AS. The darker side of the AS coin is the struggle to share that gift beyond a computer in a darkened room. It's possible to communicate by brute force, of course, but not natural. That's a curse worthy of Cassandra, who was condemned by Apollo to be always accurate in her prophecies, but always ignored by her listeners.
It's hard to express pride in a condition that many view as an excuse for being woefully introverted or having some other personality defect. Personally, I keep my (fortunately) mild AS to myself and a couple of others, and nowhere within 50 miles of my workplace. When you can appear to function normally, with effort, advertising that you're constantly fight a tendency to be a butthead or recluse isn't going to make a lot of sense to, well, pretty much anybody.
In other words, it seems to me that you pretty much would want to overcome the worst of AS before admitting to anyone that you have it. And for someone who values being true to oneself and others, that's a painful load to carry around.
You will eventually learn to fake your interactions with the NTs. You just need to accept that you are different than them. We can not relate to the NTs because we are unable to think like them. Our problems come from society convincing us that we should not accept the way we are. NTs want you to believe that you need to be like them. We will never be like them. We are different, but in my view, we are better. Look
“The real hopeless victims of mental illness are to be found among those who appear to be most normal. Many of them are normal because they are so well adjusted to our mode of existence, because their human voice has been silenced so early in their lives, that they do not even struggle or suffer or develop symptoms as the neurotic does." They are normal not in what may be called the absolute sense of the word; they are normal only in relation to a profoundly abnormal society. Their perfect adjustment to that abnormal society is a measure of their mental sickness. These millions of abnormally normal people, living without fuss in a society to which, if they were fully human beings, they ought not to be adjusted.” ~ Aldus Huxley
Find some Aspy friends. Do not bother trying to be yourself around the NTs.
Many people that are famous for their intelligence are believed to have had Aspergers.
Last edited by MrWunderbar on 20 Oct 2012, 4:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Well..fortunately when I started college I was going for education and when I began taking specific courses about students with disabilities...including a course on JUST Autism... I had a natural passion for it and I had a natural enjoyment with being inspired by people with disabilities doing great things. So when I was diagnosed with Aspergers, it was yes...a diagnosis and all diagnoseses like that are hard pills to swallow especially when reality sets in... but with my background of how inspired I was by others... I believe that if I'm not a little proud now I probably will be later. My parents are proud that even without the knowledge of this diagnosis, that I have been able to accomplish so much so far in my life and some with the aid of the capabilities and gifts that do come with Aspergers (and ADHD I have that too). It's been less than a week since my diagnosis, so I haven't gotten to the "acceptance" stage yet, but yes...I guess you could say a huge part of me is proud of being an Aspergers and an ADHD.... it is who I am and I know what people with Aspergers and ADHD can do...so that helps.
Who can be proud of having a childhood of being the outcast at school?
Who can be proud of not having many friends, no matter how much effort you try to make with people?
Who can be proud of not being able to enjoy vacations, because NTs seem to base their vacations around making friends with people they'll never see again, and that's one thing you struggle to do, which then spoils your time because the whole point of a vacation is to relax, not to feel even more tense because of having social obligations?
Who can be proud of having a severe irritation for normal household noises, what you can't just block out?
Who can be proud of having emotions that are out of control, and so you basically have to be stuck on meds for the rest of your life?
Who can be proud of having unique peeves what cause you to have crazy compulsive behaviour what most other people don't understand and just accuse you of being stupid and unreasonable?
Who can be proud of letting other people's intentions go beyond your satisfaction?
Who can be proud of being stared and laughed at in public, even if you're ''mild'' enough to be able to know how to appear normal in public places, both behaviour and appearance?
Who can be proud of having a habit of making friends with the wrong people (admittedly I have finally found the right people, although I can count all the friends I have on one hand)?
Who can be proud of being hyper-aware of what your NT peers are doing, causing intense feelings of isolation and depression?
Who can be proud of giving your parents unique problems?
Who can be proud of having special interests that you enjoy having but at the same time they invite more stress into your life?
Who can be proud of feeling so alone without your special interests, because they are part of your coping strategy, so you end up letting them become more important than anything else in your life, getting other people to critically ''worry'' about you?
Who can be proud of having such high anxiety levels over such small things that it actually takes over your mind?
Who can be proud of having such severe sensory issues with loud noises that you practically have to live your life trying to avoid things that make loud sudden noises, because it's the type of fear that can't be reasoned with or overcome?
Who can be proud of being unable to find a job and having it harder than the average person because of the few more barriers that you have?
Who can be proud of having strange ideas of how you want to live your life, what most other people don't understand?
Who can be proud of needing a routine in life in order to be able to get along (another coping strategy)?
Who can be proud of having frequent outbursts, over things like snow, tummy bugs, and annoying brothers sitting in same room as me?
Who can be proud of feeling stressed if somebody else close to you changes their life, for example your sister getting pregnant and having a baby?
Who can be proud of often giving off the wrong body language, like making a face you didn't want to make at a particular time, or making yourself look more stupid when you're in the spotlight, making yourself more of an easy target for people to gain cheap entertainment from, in other words being prone to have people taking the mickey out of you?
Who can be proud of appearing odd to other people, which then causes social anxiety for you, which affects nearly every aspect of your life because you are too ''normal'' to get any extra support so you have no choice but to face interaction in order to survive, basically?
And who can be proud of practically having every faulty trait, only you don't really but it can appear that you do to other people?
There's probably about 100 more downsides to AS but I will stop now, otherwise the list would be so long that WP would probably have problems loading.
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Female
Last edited by Joe90 on 21 Oct 2012, 9:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
Smoke weed and work from home. Works for me. Also try studding Taoism or Zen. You will never be happy until you accept who you are. You can not change the world, only how you perceive it. Listen to Alan Watts and read the Tao of Pooh. It will change your life. Seriously though, smoke weed.
"There is nothing we can do to be anything else than what we are. There is nothing we can do to feel any other way than we feel at this moment" ~ Alan Watts
I am not really sure how anyone can be "proud" of something they were born with. I see pride as something to be achieved. I am proud I am currently able to live in a town away from my family for the first time to work on my Masters degree after having been a high school dropout and a recluse. In my opinion, that is my greatest achievement up until now. I LIKE my eye colour, but I was born with it...I can't be proud of it. Likewise, I am not ashamed of being autistic, but since I've done nothing to achieve autism, it is not something I can be proud of.
_________________
Diagnosed with classic Autism
AQ score= 48
PDD assessment score= 170 (severe PDD)
EQ=8 SQ=93 (Extreme Systemizer)
Alexithymia Quiz=164/185 (high)
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