Is my friend's girlfriend possibly interested in me?

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Ok there is this girl that I used to date and we used to go out, but we were never really close. So I stopped trying with her. Anyway, years later she becomes a girlfriend to a close friend of mine, which is totally fine because I didn't ever really develop any feelings for her. The strange thing is over the past month or so I have been hanging out with them both and everything was fine no troubles. Then just today this girl posts up all this crazy stuff on facebook about how my friend is too weak, spoiled and lazy and that he can't stand up to his parents and how him and his parents are stressing her out and making her life miserable and how she wants to leave him blah blah...anyway, before this happened she added me as a friend on facebook just yesterday? I just find it kind of strange that she decided to befriend me on facebook the day before she went off on him with threats to leave him. I had something like this happen to me when I was in college and it turned out that the girl was interested in me and that was like a hint. In this particular case I have no idea because she is online now and I am just asking her if everything is alright since they are both my friends, but she is completely ignoring me? Could she like me and is just waiting for me to say a certain thing or is this some sort of drama bs/test/etc? Are there any women on here that can please clear this up for me? What are all the possible reasons why she would have decided to add me literally right before a potential breakup?

I don't think her relationship issues and adding you on facebook are related and indicate that she is interested in you. I think it is more likely simple to do with the fact that you are friends with her boyfriend that that you have been hanging out together of late. Of course I don't know the girl, and we aren't all the same.

Well I know her pretty well and that she is mentally unstable when she is stressed out. It was strange because she was online for a long time and so was I and I said hello is everything ok and she completely ignored me it was strange because when I hangout with her and my friend she is really nice to me...

It's hard enough to judge if she likes you in person. So I wouldn't overcomplicate things. In social situations, the simple answer tends to be the right one. In my experience anyway.

Most likely the things aren't related. She added you because you're hanging out a lot recently. She ranted the next day about something stupid he did or did not do with no thought as to you being a new friend on facebook. And she most likely ignored you online because she either didn't notice you were there, or got busy.

Or you missed a conversation que. If you say hi, and then she says hi, that usually means it's your turn to talk. And if she's not interested in talking to you per se, or generally preoccupied (having a chat argument with her boyfriend, in-person argument, or, umm, makeup time), she most likely won't try to engage conversation with you.

It's hard to step back and think about things that way, but it is an essential skill. It helps if I think about times I've been in a situation similar to the other person. I.E. "Why wouldn't I talk to a friend online? Well, when I was talking to my girlfriend when we were about to break up and..."

The biggest rule i've learned is that "99% of people think about you less than 1% of the time." Strange behaviour is oft times best puzzled out by taking yourself out of the equation entirely.

Well I posted a message asking her if everything is alright and that if she needs someone to talk to she can talk to me. She wound up calling me last night at like 2:30am and we talked about her problems with my friend and how she wants closure with him. Apparently, he has been getting back in touch with his ex gf behind her back on facebook and this has been going on for months now. It is strange for me because he is an old friend of mine, but I'm surprised finding this out and I used to date her before him so the whole situation is just really awkward. I wound up setting up a meet up with her Saturday so we can just hangout and talk about things. She even told me that she is keeping her options open and she said that its possible that I could start dating her and possibly be a boyfriend. I was really surprised because she did most of the talking, although I told her that she should move on since being cheated on is no good and that he will continue to hurt her feelings more and more.

I don't think the two are necessarily related. I mean, I am not one for picking up on signals anyway, but if this is a signal it seems really indirect anyway. Personally, I think that there are some people who add anyone they know on facebook. It doesn't mean they want to begin a relationship. Just my opinion...

All I can say, is PLEASE for your own sake, be careful! I've been in that spot, and it's unbelievably easy to get into a misunderstanding which could end the friendship with both... Even if you're NT, let alone with Asperger's. I speak from experience.

It's my guess that there could be a few reasons for the girl's actions: Of course it might be totally innocent, and she has no intentions of leading you to think anything... Or, she might be communicating with you in order to keep your friend at his best, and to keep him a little jealous, or she could be doing it to have you ready to intervene if a problem develops in her relationship with your friend. And in either of those cases, you're going to wind up being the bad guy, even if your intentions are 100% clean. If I were you, I'd absolutely forget about noticing anything she's done or said, that is leading you to wonder about her feelings for you. Even if they break up, and you still want to find out if she likes you, better wait a LONG time...

Charles

Stay the heck away from that girl! First, she's your friend's girlfriend, and that would be betraying your friend. And second, if they break up, then you and your friend's relationship will still be strained because you are dating his ex. It's never a good thing! You even said you weren't all that attracted to her--don't date a girl just because she's available.

I'd assume she's not. Things will be much simpler that way.

I agree with Callista: even if she IS interested in you, if you value your friendship, then she should be off-limits.

At the risk of incurring yet another string of "Fnord is a sexist pig" replies, I will say that SOME women SEEM to never completely let go of a man when they break up with him; it's as if they are changing his friendship status from "Active" to "Back-up" or "Reserve". I say this because some women who have broken up with me have re-contacted me years later and tried to pick up where they left off as if the break-up had never occurred - they SEEM to have "Re-Activated" my status in their minds.

Could this be the case with Alienboy? I think it MAY be a possibility...

I think that applies equally to guys. Not letting go of an old relationship seems to be a human thing.

Which is another reason not to date her even if they do break up: Your friend will still be emotionally invested in her--maybe not as a girlfriend; but they will have history together.