Has my mom known that I have Aspergers this whole time?

Post Reply New Topic

When i got home from school today, i went onto my moms computer to look something up. There was a search term left in the Google box. "Aspergers and adolescence". I was shocked. So, i pressed search to find that my mother had been researching Aspergers! Oh. My. God. The story of how i came to find that i have Aspergers is complicated. Basically, I have been seeing a psychologist since about 6th grade for what i thought was ADHD. My mom brought me to psychiatrist for meds, and she mentioned me having a drop of Aspergers, but that was in our last visit inwhich we decided to stop trying meds. Anyway, my parents seemed to be acting like they had talked about this with my psychologist, but they haven't talked about kt since. The only times they have was when talking about people on tv who must have it, or this kid in my grade who is the exact stereotype of an Aspie. Perhaps they assume i have it? Maybe it's the Aspie in me who cannot see that. But i know that my mom is against keeping a diagnosis from a child, as i heard her telling her friend whose patient was an adolescent Aspie who was unaware of her diagnosis that it was wrong. What should i do? I am a bit afraid to confront her about it. Not because im afraid of her, i just don't feel comfortable. Should i bring it up to my psychologist? As in, possibly tell her about how the psychiatrist mentioned it and i saw that my mom was looking it up?
I really want to at least hear a professional tell me that i have it, even if it's not really diagnosed. I know i have it, but that would just make me feel more comfortable. And then i could also know that i could talk about it openly with my parents and mention Aspergers and autism without feeling awkward. And also maybe ask my parents if i can be on this forum, as i know they don't like me to be on forums, but i would tell them to not look at my posts, as they may contain info i don't want people who know who i really am to know, and i might say mean things about them.

Thanks a lot for any advice, personal experience, or really anything you have to offer in my situation.

Why limit yourself to one choice. My vote is to talk to psychologist, mom & dad. Share with school councilors later as issues come up that relate to aspergers.

Who do you trust?

I agree with MountainLaurel about not limiting yourself. When I was at a stage similar to you, I talked to several people - professionals, friends, and relatives.

And if your mother's researching it, that doesn't mean that she thinks for sure you have it. She might suspect, or she might know about the "drop of Asperger's" comment your psychologist made. She might be trying to figure things out herself. If you talk to her, that might actually be a bit of a relief for both of you, as it was for my mother and I (although she didn't suspect Asperger's, she'd been beating herself up over my lack of ability to support myself).

Depends what age you are. I mean ideally you tell your family if you think they'll be understanding, but it's more important if you want to take it further and still in school.

I would want to talk to all the important people in my life, but the poll is supposed to be more for like who I should talk to first. Because my psychologist would tell my parents and my parents would tell her. If I do go to my mom first, what should I say? I only have planned what to day to my psychologist.

Oh and I'm a 14 year old female in my freshman year of high school.

That's the reason I think that our parents should tell us about our diagnosis as soon as we start Grade 1 if we're diagnosed early, do we don't go through school feeling like complete losers when the opposite is true about us.

I think you could tell them all "first". Because you wrote they'd tell each other, I'd suggest you tell them and avoid waiting too long between telling one and then the other.

If, say, you want to tell your parents first, they'll probably not tell/call your psychologist that afternoon or that evening if you're going to see your psychologist tomorrow or in 2-3 days anyway.

If you told your parents but wait 1 or 2 weeks before you tell your psychologist too, they might call your psychologist to inform her (so she won't be left out of what has been going on in your life during the past 1-2 weeks).

I checked "never mention it to anyone" by mistake, because I thought for some reason that the choices were universal. Sorry. Anyway, I think a psychologist is your best bet. That way, your parents would probably take you more seriously than if you went to them directly.

This is how it should be. What exactly would be holding our parents back? Shame? God, I hope not...

I think i am going to talk to my psychologist first about this whole thing. She knows more about my social struggles and i just think it'll work out better. Thanks so much for the input! And keep it coming! Even if i don't find your advice all that useful, it's still sort of comforting. And i could change my mind. If it comes up or there's like the perfect moment to say it to my mom or dad, maybe i will, but thats unlikely to happen by next Monday.

Certainly not what happened to me, instead I was shunted off to a grandparent yet still forced to see my family everyday...and shunted off to the same school as them so they could be the bullies ringmaster.

Not really any wonder that I never bothered to go, all my mum cared about is how it would reflect on her...

For the opening poster, at least you got early intervention so be glad for that, it could've been so much worse.

I'm sorry about what happened to you, and yes, i am lucky to have parents who care enough to get me a very skilled, highly intelligent therpist who I am compatable with. But I just think its unlike them to hold back this kind of info.

My cousin, an NT for sure, had another theory. She said that maybe my mom had only just realized my Aspergers, and was trying to find out more before telling me. Or maybe she saw how stressed I am because of school starting and all, and wanted to wait in fear that it will stress me out more. That's sort of what I'm hoping, but I hope she tries to talk to me about it soon!

How old were you when you told your mom you suspected Aspergers? And what did you say? What was her response?