Being an Aspie is like...

Post Reply New Topic

From some random dude on urbandictionary.

Anyway, I'm unsure of Aspergers, but it seems likely. I got an NVLD diagnosis, and I think there was pressure not to diagnose me Aspergers (long story.) I don't know, seems pretty sweet, I cook stuff, listen to eurobeat, go ice skating everyday. But yes, my sister says the way I interact is similar to that. I'm constantly embarrassing her by my lack of social inhibition, but at the same time, I get free stuff and cool information from talking to random people like I do.

Overall, it's pretty sweet, just I wish I could not get lost and stuff as much.

And people think I'm weird and stuff, but whatever, I sorta just got to the point where if people don't like me, they're not worth being friends with anyway.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8ufRnf2Exc[/youtube]
You can also do that.

If you want to experience the physical traits of being an Aspie, do the following:

Wear a pair of glasses that get lots of glare from the sun.
Wear hearing aids turned up all the way.
Make everything you touch more textured.
Attach scratchy tags to your clothes.
Chew on rubber with your corn next time you eat.

If you want to experience the mental traits of being an Aspie, get an encyclopedia and hit yourself in the head with it. (JOKING!! !!)

knowing the punchline, before the joke is finished

knowing how the magic trick is done but unable to do it yourself

playing by the rules and everyone else is cheating

seeing thru others and not liking the view

everyone mistaking data gathering, observing and paying attention as emotionless and cold

being invisible and walked thru

speaking and not being heard or understood

being either on or off,

working perfectly sometimes, .but just not working adequately all the time.

being clumsy in a coordinated group

Indeed. And, if you contest it for whatever reason, they just start calling you derogatory names (Weirdo, Creeper, Crazy, Loser, etc.) and verbally attacking you. Do NTs have a life?

Last edited by swbluto on 15 Sep 2011, 12:10 am, edited 1 time in total.

Like being Clark Kent? Or Adam Strange maybe, being able to visit and come back?

I think the "wrong planet" metaphor sums it up pretty well.

hehe... it's a playful jab. The implication is that she's been doing bad, presumably due to a bad husband.

Or, wait, it might be some secret poker lingo. I've never played poker, so I wouldn't know the 'code', assuming there is one.

Or wait, you're just making up a metaphorical story and I didn't quite catch on that it was metaphorical because I have aspergers. XD

...being programmed with some inverse aphoristic artificial intelligence. Lacking the emotional, existential and tangential mentality that the neurotypicals possess, being an aspergian is somewhat like being a machine that can only analyze circumstance based on comprehensive sets of fact based internal database tables that are meddled with various misgivings that evoke routine input/output errors. Complicating this circumstance is an inherited deny access privilege to the universal database tables, where instructions on the normalities of regular interpersonal and social behaviors exist.

(these are good)

...

from The Theory and Practice of Oligarchic Coll;ectivism:

"...trying to guess the combination of a safe, [when] most of your guesses aren't even considered numbers."

Fish analogy:

It's like missing that something that binds schools of fish together...so you just grab onto a jetski to get to your destination instead.

Being thrown into a strange world dominated by confusing people and too many unspoken rules.

Being an aspie (for me at least) is like living in two worlds simultaneously - a mental world where everything is as you'd like it to be, you're talented and popular, and the trains run on time. But your body is stuck in the "real world" where few things work in your favor, you're basically a nobody and nothing goes as planned.

Jumping off a bridge. the pain is there but i just cant die.

going one step forward in life, then taking two steps backwards.

.
Being an Aspie is like being an alien
and you're stuck on this planet and you have to learn to function because you can't go home.

That's just so accurate!

...driving a 1974 Ford Pinto down a gravel, potholed, washboarded, partly washed out back-country road just after a rainstorm while everyone else is driving by you in a 2015 Dodge Ram 2500 with a 6" Lift Kit.

If I go into the wrong place on the road, I may bottom out and possibly get stuck or tear off important parts from the underside of my car.

If I go too fast, I may end up torching the suspension or hitting so many deep potholes I end up bouncing around so violently inside the car that I bash my head against a window and run off the road.

So I have to be somewhat plodding and deliberate, and what may look like cautious to others who don't have to be so aware of what they're doing or have any concern for the consequences because their equipment is immune to the possibilities. Meanwhile, everyone driving their Ram's are just yelling at me to drive the way they do because their way is how everyone does it. And telling me I'd be better off if I did, too.

a box of chocolates.