Sharing a flat or house with someone

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I made the self declaration that I would not look to live with anyone ever again about 4 years ago and it was probably the best realisation I had made. I kept it to myself however though because if I had declared it infront of friends or family they would have thought I was a snob or above other people and sharing etc etc..

Anyway, I have recently moved in with my girlfriend. I did so due to us having a distance relationship. When the relationship was a distant one it sort of worked out alright for me as I had my own space and only had to travel once every month or two. For my girlfriend though, this was too much. She wanted a normal relationship where we would see each other more often. We both lived in different countries in Europe, we now live in the same one. In a three bedroom flat. I have my own room for work etc.

I have really tried to get into the swing of things and get on with the things I used to do but I have found it near impossible. For me it is, I think, that the space is not mine totally and I cannot do what I want when I need to for many diferent reasons. All in different catergories. (time, space, noise, distractions etc etc etc) I have been here for nearly four weeks.

I am just wondering if anyone else has had problems with this sort of thing and if they have come up with a solution. My girlfriend is bending over backwards to accomodate my needs but it never seems to be enough and sometime she forgets things and sometimes it is all too much and she throws her hands up in the air (quite rare).... I have Aspergers btw

I am too young to relate to you but what i can say is that i would pay millions to live alone
all the freedom you can get from it is incredible, i also hate it if people touch my stuff so living with my family is a tough task most of the time.

But it seems that your friend is trying to understand you and respects your needs so i think it's gonna be fine there
she might ever have moments like ""DAMN I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE"" but that's pretty usual.. you can't expect someone else to be easy with it all every day of the year.

Good Luck not that i think you'll need it though.

Hmm, living with just one other person is OK for me (for example, my mum), but no more than that. When my mum is out, I'd be at home on my own, which I don't mind. And when she's using the toilet, I can wait, and when she's out I know that nobody else will want to get in there too, or if she is in the bath I can just quickly nip in if I need the toilet or want to clean my teeth. And both me and my mum like the same sort of tidyness, and we don't like the TV on at certain times, and lots of other little habits or quirks or pet peeves or fussiness that we share, so we'll get along great.

In reality, I live with my mum and my dad and my brother, and living with male relatives is a nuisence because a lot of men are lazy and messy (these two are anyway), and they're always leaving doors open, and TVs roaring on, and mess everywhere, and they eat the wrong things out of the fridge what me and my mum were saving for tomorrow's dinner, etc.....ohh, how frustrating!

Getting married and living with a man will be OK for me aswell, because again, it's just one other person, and a relationship is quite different. I do actually want to get married and live with a man. But I don't want to live on my own, because I will feel vulnerable. I am a target for bullies, and I know I will be put in a council flat surrounded by loud obnoxious youths what live on benefits and don't work (believe me - there's a lot of them around where I come from), and they all gather outside the flats in a big social group late at nights with drink, or have noisy parties until about 2 o'clock in the morning, and I just won't feel relaxed living among all of that. I know it will be the same if I lived with someone, but living on my own will make me feel vulnerable aswell.

I live in a shared house with other students (friends) , so no boyfriend or anything. I do however find that when thry are all out of the house I can breath more easily even though they are very accomodating to me. I am really looking forward to the day I have my own space, without judgment from others, even though they probably do not mean to be that way, I find the presence of others restrictive in a way I cannot fully explain. If I were to live with a significan other, I imagine a house that has distinctive different rooms, like 2 houses in 1 with a shared kitchen and large living room. I just know I will not be able to go back to this after I have had my own house. I just hope my partner will be that accomodating.

Just try to talk about it with your girlfriend, who seems to be willing to do a lot for you.

I don't want to live alone. Living with someone else can be stressful, but there are too many things in daily life that I need help with. I've gone to live with my sister on five separate occasions, and had to come back to live with my parents again because I either couldn't get a job or couldn't hold one down. But I liked living with her when I did, and recently she more or less invited me to come live with her if I ever get SSI, which is unfortunate because I have no hope whatsoever of getting it. The ideal situation would be to live in a place big enough that we wouldn't annoy each other, but I would honestly rather sleep in the closet of the small apartment she has now than live alone.