What do you hate the most about having autism/aspergers ?
TenPencePiece
Veteran
Joined: 11 Dec 2009
Age: 29
Gender: Male
Posts: 46,000
Location: Greater Manchester, United Kingdom
You don't know that though. I've spent most of my life, until recently, not trying things because I "knew" they would go wrong, so what's the point. But of course I didn't know how things were going to turn out...it's a completely self-defeating attitude.
It's happened to me a lot of times actually.
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Female
I think you're right, it is a difficult thing to do (I still have an annoying habit of shooting myself in the foot). I hope it didn't come across as if I was belittling Joe90 in any way - it was just a case of possibly recognising something in someone else that I've done a lot of myself...like trying to go back in time and talk to yourself "don't do that!".
You don't know that though. I've spent most of my life, until recently, not trying things because I "knew" they would go wrong, so what's the point. But of course I didn't know how things were going to turn out...it's a completely self-defeating attitude.
It's happened to me a lot of times actually.
I've been bullied plenty of times in groups, I know what its like, but not all groups are the same. I know it's hard to keep trying, but giving up is worse. I think being scared of teenagers is irrational because in my experience people in their 20s and 30s can be every bit as unpleasant (just in more subtle ways)...there are nice teenagers, 20/30-somethings etc too..
I hate knowing that if I told people about being an aspie; they would most likely develop a stereotypical image of me and only attempt to interact with me from a distance: but if I don't, then there is no tolerance towards my sensitivity to touch and general social ineptness.
Am I the only one that generally hates stereotypes?
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Twilightflame
Raven
Joined: 18 Aug 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 103
Location: Hell... I mean Singapore.
Hate the love failure rate.
AS far as NTs are shunning me, got a feeling I might eventually end up with another Aspie.
Throw this cycle enough times, we might become a completely separate species from NTs eventually...
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"Mind what people do, not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie."
- Terry Goodkind's "Wizard's Fifth Rule"
I can relate to NTs in general. I don't see why not. We're all people at the end of the day. But mostly teenagers are harder to get along with - that's why it's so hard for all teenagers - it's because they're all at that funny age, where sometimes they clash a bit, and start picking on others who are just a teeny bit different, so different that an older person might not see it. I'm not saying all teenagers are like it, but most of them are. Teenagers and young girls in their 20s often give me glares - more than older people. Doesn't matter if girls are prettier or uglier, fatter or thinner than me - they will always glare at me when they're together. 95 percent do. It can be intimidating when you're on your own.
And I hate having AS because I don't like telling people, yet it is best that they're aware of my anxieties and needs. Here's the reason (I wrote this in another thread):-
I suppose I might be able to get away with saying that I just suffer from an anxiety disorder or depression or even a personality disorder, but still make out I'm an NT. NTs are more likely to understand that sort of thing, more than a labelled spectrum disorder. I know a lot of NTs myself who suffer from depression or high anxiety disorder, and they can seem like they're behaving odd at times.
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Female
Sometimes I wish I can be open about my AS but I am not. I feel embarrassed about it. Maybe I am ashamed of it. I can easily hide my symptoms and they can be mistaken as something else so it's still hiding it. I let them think whatever they want.
If a guy doesn't accept you because of your condition, then they are not the right guy for you. If they use the label to define you and make all these assumptions about you and act like AS describes you, they are also not for you and it shows how little they know.
I also hate stereotypes about AS.
I'm not sure if this is anything to do with having AS, but I hate people feeling free to pick on me. It might be due to AS, or it might be due to giving off impressions that I'm unconfident or stupid. And no - generally people who I know don't pick on me, but people I don't know do. I know that may sound OK because they're not in my life otherwise, but it's upsetting for me because sometimes I think to myself, ''do I look that stupid to strangers?'' And I get myself all het up and self-conscious, then it's off-putting when I am to meet new people.
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Female
I dislike having Asperger's syndrome for many reasons. I would really rather say I hate having Asperger's syndrome. Being misunderstood has always been very difficult to deal with. Never having friends or long lasting friendships is a burden. Being unemployed and part of the 15% living in poverty is not a lot of fun. I often wish that I was living somewhere in Europe. I'm from America, and I love my country, but Europe is way ahead of us in health care, and it's sparse getting help here in America for adults with AS. I feel if I were living in France, England or Germany I would be getting better help. I'm 41, and have never married, and have never been gainfully employed. I've read about, and heard of people with AS that are happily married with a wonderful family, and are very successful at their jobs, but I think those people are in the minority and are very lucky. I have a brother that lived in Germany for several years, and when he came back to the states he was so unhappy because of the health care system here. Again, here in America it's hard to get help for Asperger's syndrome if you are an adult, and it's still not the best help for children and teenagers. Also, the nonverbal issues are hard to deal with.
I hate how I come off as either "shy" or "standoffish b***h" to many people because I dont know how to spontaneously interact with people. I hate how at times I feel like I have such little control over my image/reputation yet I read social cues pretty well by now. Im literally watching myself make social a train wreak out of myself and I don't know how to fix it. People always think, once you know how to read the "cues", means you know how to fix your behavior...not always true. I hate how socializing is so unnatural for aspies. For NTs its like eating, sleeping, walking and breathing.
I dont like all those articles about how autism rates are rising, then they give an example of a LFA and they make people freak out and think that kinda autism is rising. They really gotta give a balanced perspective in recognizing that HFA and aspergers wasnt previously recognized and diagnosed until DSM4. They gotta do studies focusing on solely seeing the rates of LFA rising. Not make it seem like LFA rates are rising 200x, cause they arent.
The thing I hate most is that I have to be 100% focused and alert when in a social group. When I let my attention drift for a few seconds, somehow that's enough for me to be 'removed' from the group when I refocus on them. By that I mean that before the 'removal', I can talk and understand the people around me, while afterwards I can no longer differentiate different conversations from each other, and sometimes can't tell speech from other background sounds. So while I can feel at ease with friends, I can never fully relax when talking to them. I very much dislike this, and wish that this weren't the case.
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"If we were flying like the wind, I wonder if the things that you see would be the same things I see" (Feena, Grandia) - http://borderlineaspie.blogspot.com/
I hate the constant anxiety over whether I'm doing the social thing correctly, am I responding in the right way, are my hands in the right place etc.
Also the little talks from people that tell me that I need to come out of my shell, I need to make an effort to make relationships with people etc.
I hate the fact that no matter what, I will always look at least a little wierd. I hate the fact that even if I desperately want to say something, I just can't get the right words out. I hate the fact that I am miserable when doing what makes everyone else happy.
And most of all, I hate the fact I dont have a valid enough excuse to just hide away from everything.
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