27 Sep 2011, 12:43 am
TheMatrixHasYou
Snowy Owl
Joined: 8 Apr 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 160
Location: Having dinner with Alan Turing's adorable ghost.
27 Sep 2011, 5:57 am
KathySilverstein wrote:
lol, I've given the "I'm on the phone"answer to what are you doing before.
When I was a kid, my mom all the time used to say that I didn't have any common sense.
When I got the AS diagnosis as an adult, it made a lot more sense why!
When I was a kid, my mom all the time used to say that I didn't have any common sense.
When I got the AS diagnosis as an adult, it made a lot more sense why!
When I'm an adult, I'll get a professional diagnosis....my parents don't really seem to care right now.
Mummy_of_Peanut
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Joined: 20 Feb 2011
Age: 52
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Posts: 3,564
Location: Bonnie Scotland
27 Sep 2011, 6:10 am
TheMatrixHasYou
Snowy Owl
Joined: 8 Apr 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 160
Location: Having dinner with Alan Turing's adorable ghost.
27 Sep 2011, 6:16 am
Mummy_of_Peanut wrote:
I was at my cousin's wedding, which was in the Souith of England. His brother, whom I hadn't seen for many years, asked where I was staying and I told him the name of my home village. I didn't realise until later that he was asking where I was sleeping during the trip for the wedding.
I would have done the same.
I hate it when NT's don't give clear verbal instructions, yet expect us to know what they mean.
28 Sep 2011, 11:00 pm
28 Sep 2011, 11:13 pm
syrella wrote:
TheMatrixHasYou wrote:
LostUndergrad9090 wrote:
I go through the same thing, when asked a question I over think the question. Like if someone says what were doing before this, I might say uhh walked through the hall way or what do you mean?
I do this all the time too. When I was on the phone with someone, and they (rather stupidly, in my opinion) asked me what I was doing, I'd be like, "Um....I'm on the phone?"
I think, in that case, they'd be asking ... "What are you doing besides talking on the phone?"
The "besides" part is assumed. How else could they be talking with you like that if you weren't on the phone?
I think it's probably an "NT" version of logic because it requires some inferences to be made. It also assumes that multitasking is taking place. In other words, you must be doing something more than just talking on the phone. Alternatively, they might also be asking you what you were doing before you answered the phone.
Isn't unspoken dialogue fun?
My description wasn't the greatest but yeah I usually don't know how to answer questions like that.
29 Sep 2011, 12:19 am
syrella wrote:
Oh, this happens to me all of the time. I am constantly misinterpreting people's instructions. The instructions have to be 100% clear or I won't understand. My mom's learned to deal with it by giving very specific and detailed explanations.
Sometimes it's made for some humorous situations, though. My friend once told me to "park down at the bottom of the hill"... and so I did just that and walked all the way up. It was around a two mile walk uphill, I think. When I got there, huffing and puffing, she was really surprised. It turns out that she had just meant the bottom of the hill where the driveway was. Woops!
Sometimes it's made for some humorous situations, though. My friend once told me to "park down at the bottom of the hill"... and so I did just that and walked all the way up. It was around a two mile walk uphill, I think. When I got there, huffing and puffing, she was really surprised. It turns out that she had just meant the bottom of the hill where the driveway was. Woops!
29 Sep 2011, 1:37 pm
Joe90 wrote:
I don't think I've really dealt with this. My common sense is generally OK.
But let me think of something I can remember doing what involved lacking common sense/being too literal.....
I'm not sure if this is actually lacking common sense or not, but often when somebody near me is busy doing something, I'm usually standing there or sitting there watching them in silence, instead of helping them. But it's only because I know I'll just get in the way more so, like being more of a hinderence than help. But maybe it still means I lack common sense, because most people seem to know what to do to help them (if the task looks familiar enough, like moving boxes or carrying rubbish to the skip), but I wouldn't. I'd probably just pick up the wrong thing and put it in the wrong place or something. I suppose asking will help a lot.....so I don't know if this is really an example of lacking theory of mind/common sense.
But let me think of something I can remember doing what involved lacking common sense/being too literal.....
I'm not sure if this is actually lacking common sense or not, but often when somebody near me is busy doing something, I'm usually standing there or sitting there watching them in silence, instead of helping them. But it's only because I know I'll just get in the way more so, like being more of a hinderence than help. But maybe it still means I lack common sense, because most people seem to know what to do to help them (if the task looks familiar enough, like moving boxes or carrying rubbish to the skip), but I wouldn't. I'd probably just pick up the wrong thing and put it in the wrong place or something. I suppose asking will help a lot.....so I don't know if this is really an example of lacking theory of mind/common sense.
I'm exactly the same way. As a parent, I'm often expected to help out at school functions or sporting events and I'm terrible at these types of things. I remember once having to help prepare for an event and I even explained ahead of time to one of the people in charge that unless I am given specific intructions on what to do, I will be useless. She assured me, 'oh, don't worry, we'll tell you what to do'.
Well, I got there and everyone was scurrying around doing this and that and I was lost. I asked this woman who I needed to go to to be given a task. She told me to just look around and see what needed to be done.
I then mentioned that I'm not very good at that and she very nastily replied 'Well, now would be a good time learn, don't you think?' 
I was already nervous about the entire ordeal because it was so chaotic with people everywhere and I really didn't need her attitude on top of everything else. I just about walked out then and there because obviously they really didn't need my help. Fortunately I wandered off and came upon a woman who had always been very kind to me and she me helped out.
It's not that I'm trying to get out of doing my share - I want to do my part and pitch in, but I'm simply not good at organizing things nor this businness of just knowing what needs to be done and then doing it. Plus, even if I know what I to do, if there's too much going on around me, I have a difficult time of it unless it is something very simple. Of course, the fact that most of these women already don't like me and/or think I'm strange just compounds the problem by resulting in nasty, bitchy comments. Which then either hurts my feelings, pisses me off, or both. I despise these situations - one of my least favorite things about being a parent.
29 Sep 2011, 1:59 pm
TheMatrixHasYou
Snowy Owl
Joined: 8 Apr 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 160
Location: Having dinner with Alan Turing's adorable ghost.
01 Oct 2011, 7:14 am
League_Girl wrote:
^^^
I have that exact same difficulty as well. I need to be told what to do. I cannot go in and see what needs to be done and do it. I need to be told what to do. I feel stuck. I mean how hard is it to go in and see who needs help and do it?
I have that exact same difficulty as well. I need to be told what to do. I cannot go in and see what needs to be done and do it. I need to be told what to do. I feel stuck. I mean how hard is it to go in and see who needs help and do it?
If I had a pound for every time someone said "stop standing there like a statue"...
How on earth am I supposed to know what people need me to do if they don't tell me?
TheMatrixHasYou
Snowy Owl
Joined: 8 Apr 2011
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 160
Location: Having dinner with Alan Turing's adorable ghost.
01 Oct 2011, 7:17 am
Padraig wrote:
Hah. That sounds a lot like me. Sometimes I come to a conclusion which was not what was meant, but more often I have to inquire to obtain clarification when something is ambiguous. I've been told that I can irritate people by asking for clarification too often. I maintain that most people do not speak with enough specificity and that is where these issues come from.
For interest, these were my thoughts while reading your three examples:
Example 1.
I didn't know what was meant by the question. Was what straight? The edge? If that was what was meant, I would have asked "Is the edge of this piece of fabric straight?"
Example 2.
I would have said two bunches. Simply saying "two of those" and pointing is ambiguous. Two of what? Two bananas? Two bunches of bananas? Two of those boxes of bananas (the boxes that the bananas are sometimes contained in)?
Example 3.
My reaction would have been the same as yours. It would have been nice if she said "Please come and sit here." while motioning towards the chair or "Please come and sit on this chair."
For interest, these were my thoughts while reading your three examples:
Example 1.
I didn't know what was meant by the question. Was what straight? The edge? If that was what was meant, I would have asked "Is the edge of this piece of fabric straight?"
Example 2.
I would have said two bunches. Simply saying "two of those" and pointing is ambiguous. Two of what? Two bananas? Two bunches of bananas? Two of those boxes of bananas (the boxes that the bananas are sometimes contained in)?
Example 3.
My reaction would have been the same as yours. It would have been nice if she said "Please come and sit here." while motioning towards the chair or "Please come and sit on this chair."
If only they said that....my Textiles teacher was so goddamn vague, I'm awful with verbal instruction normally, but she spewed out a whole load of crap and expected us to know what to do.
Verdandi
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Age: 55
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01 Oct 2011, 7:20 am
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