Do you hate it when people come round at awkward times?

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I prefer to know when people are coming round, and family and friends will phone first and arrange a suitable time, and day. If my doorbell rings in the morning, I rarely answer it. I reckon if it's important whoever it is will either phone or leave a note. By the afternoon I'm usually better able to cope with unexpected visitors so I'll open the door then.

I despise it. I need time (at least a day.. but prefer 2+ days) to mentally prepare myself to interact with some people.

ow yes i hate it.., i always have to stop doing awkward things like.. counting flies

This.



And sometimes this.

It's not my house though so I can't lay down any rules. I also have insomnia and keep weird hours. Some people think that if they are dressed and running around at 8 or even 11AM I should like be sitting around waiting for them. I'm often not even in bed until almost 7 & then tossing & turning for a while. (joint pain)

Fortunately my family doesn't socialise too much so we rarely have people over and thus I don't have to deal with that issue often. When it does happen, it's usually because my sister has invited her friends to come over. If I was doing things in the rest of the house (i.e. not my room) or if they (my sister and her friends) are being very loud, I get extremely agitated. I usually stay in my room until they're gone.

I have disabled my doorbell because even the surprise sound of notification irritates me. I believe everyone should give 3 days notice so I can prep.

Sometimes, I see tv shows where friends are constantly stopping by to hang out. I want a couple of friends but not people who stop by randomly.

I hate that. I feel that I have to mentally coach myself to deal with guests in my home. I worry that my house is stinky. I worry that the person might judge me as boring so I go all out and try to be polite. At the end of the visit, I am drained. In the end I would rather be alone. I think people should call before they come over. NOT that that is a problem.

A few weeks ago my brother called my house and left a message. I didn't recognize his number so I let it roll to voicemail. I listened to it after he left the message and he said that he had just drove by and liked our new paint color (we had just painted our house). He knew we were home (both cars where in our driveway). He lives 20 miles away and I live in a complex so people don't just drive by our house. He ended his message by saying "just busting your stones". WTF!?!? Obviously, he figured out in the past that I don't like drop in's so he decides to go out of his way to drive past my house? I was very upset and didn't call him back. I feel my privacy was violated.

The rest of my family know that drop in's are not welcome except for my father-in-law. He shows up every year on our children's birthdays without fail no matter what day of the week it is (school night). We always take the kids out for dinner that day and no matter how many times I tell him that it's not a good time for us, he shows up anyway. My oldest started college this year and won't be home for her birthday so I hope the cycle gets broken this year.

That's pretty much how I feel. I haven't disabled my doorbell though because by that time, it's a bit late and they would pound on the door anyway.

I wanted to ask you, do you feel this way with everyone? I.e. feeling the need to be polite and worrying about upsetting them in some way. I ask because though I feel the same as you with almost everyone, there are two people with whom I don't feel the need to censor myself or worry about offending them because I think we're very honest -- and I daresay comfortable -- with each other. I still would really rather nobody turn up unexpected, but with them, it's not as stressful. I'm mainly annoyed that I'd have to stop whatever it was that I was doing.

Is there anyone with whom you're comfortable enough that those encounters aren't as stressful, or is it the same regardless of who visits?

sometimes I mind, and sometimes I don't. It really depends on the mood I'm in.

I don't really get the notion of awkwardness-
it always seemed to me to describe the feeling of people who have to yak all the time, when it's quiet in a group of people.

A feeling too subtle for me to understand, I think.

Oh yes, my aunt always likes to come over to my house without any notice and it makes me all discombobulated...

::Walks up to her slowly, hands her his number on a square of paper, a smile gradually consuming his face.::

Valentine Wig...er, Bethie.... Um... uh.... I know this is sudden but... do you wanna like maybe... uhmm... I mean, if you're not taken... go out sometime for tea or coffee? It can be pizza. I mean a night club? ::Chuckles:: Heck, it can be anywhere.... I mean, I know you're busy, but uh... ::Looks away, nervously, and waits for a reply.::













Understand?

Right now I have some family over who didn't say they were coming, and it's right at an awkward time because we are getting our dinner on right now and they don't seem to be going. Right now I am in my room pacing about and on the verge of screaming because my routine is disrupted (at least my mum and my brother are keeping them entertained so I'm not needed).

On New Year's Eve we've planned to have some family over, and they are going to come round 7-ish. That's fine with me. If they came a bit earlier than 7, I still wouldn't mind because I would already know they are coming. And I will be OK when they do come on New Year's Eve because it's been planned, and I can get myself ready and if I felt hungry beforehand, I would get some soup or something an hour before they arrive. And I will just have something to eat with them later.

ALL times of ALL days are awkward times for pop-in visitors! Our doorbell is disconnected, and we don't have a telephone in the house. Our home is our castle, and when I get around to it, I'll get on our Caterpillar tractor, dig a moat, and buy some alligators and sharks to put in it, and not put a bell button on the land side of the drawbridge, which will remain raised at all times.

Charles

No one ever shows up at my door unannounced. I can't imagine who would do that or for what purpose.

I hate it.

I need to make up my mind whenever I'm gonna meet someone with whom I've previously arranged an actual meeting. Not to mention when they unexpectedly drop over. Not pleasant. In fact, it's highly disrupting and I must stim a lot afterwards.