Quite aspies vs Loud aspies

Post Reply New Topic

I like conversation, so I guess I'm loud. My pal Melinduh calls me a "Maven," someone who collects information and loves sharing it and teaching it to others. For me, it hurts to stay quiet when I have something to add. Literally hurts, in my gut.

That being said, I have trouble understanding if it's "ok" for me to wander up and participate in a conversation. I also have trouble knowing when to leave a conversation and wander away.

So I suppose it is an anxiety/shyness issue for certain. Most conversations I have, other people start with me. They ask a question (for example, "how did you make that print," or "can you show me how to fix this thing,") and that opens the floodgates. If that doesn't happen, I just stand there, silent and awkward.

So for me, having skills that people know about makes me loud. People not knowing my skills, or people being uninterested in them, makes me very quiet. Cause and effect, no?

I like conversation, and I like chatting with people. And I'm good at picking up social cues. But I'm still not a loud Aspie. I sometimes get socially phobic, and become afraid to speak up, in case I do or say something wrong or don't get listened to. People are quick to know when to get used to you being quiet, so they don't think to give you a chance to speak. It's so awkward.

I'm usually quiet. Not always, though. It depends on who I'm talking to, and what the conversation is about.

That's the same as me too. I know it sounds a bit atrange for an Aspie to say this, but if I'm in a group with 3 other people and I don't know 2 of them, and the most dominent one gives me a fair share of eye contact whilst speaking, I have the confidence to perhaps slip in a few words because I know I will have more chance of being heard. But if nobody's looking at me, I feel I'm pushed out of the group more, and find it harder to join in if nobody's noticed me there. So sometimes eye contact from another person is a good thing, because it means that the person has noticed you and wouldn't mind if you joined in.

I'm the low-on-dopamine-can't-be-bothered-talking-until-I-have-the-right-ingredients-or-medication type.

I used to have selective mutism so I was never really quiet but had this condition to stop me from talking to people. Now, I'll talk to people. Under stress I'd rather not but pump me pull of Ritalin and I'll talk even with no one in the room.

Loud to my friends, extremely quiet to the rest of the world.

The majority of the time, I'm a quiet aspie when I'm not posting on WP. I sit there on the Internet when I'm at the clubhouse unless Dean, Barb or both of them are there.

When I'm with my parents and my family in general, I'll talk to them for about 40 minutes and than my mum knows that I'd rather be on WP, so she says that I can go into the spare bedroom and go on my computer.

I talk to my friends about my special interests 20% of the time and about other things 80% of the time. I make small talk with my parents 97% of the time and I talk to them about my special interests 3% of the time. WP is a little different. I talk about my special interests 35% of the time and I talk about the topics that pop up the other 65% of the time. The makeup of my conversations and the amount that I speak varies with each of my social settings.

I'm quiet when I'm around my family or when my friends aren't around. I'm outgoing at work, with my friends and on WP.

I'm quiet for most of the day, but late in the day I start to get very talkative about my special interests and it annoys people.

I'm definitely a quiet Aspie and actually get annoyed by loud people!

I used to be just plain Loud and an extravert the life of the party the joker as the saying goes. I tend to get loud these days if I get excited about my obsessive interest or hobbie or if I'm trying hard to put a point across or to get someone to understand me or listen to me besides that I am pretty quiet these days I'm an Intrevert now I rather sit there and listen than talk I'm afraid if I open my mouth these days I will say the wrong thing and affend someone or put my foot in it maybe its just old age and I'm alot older and wiser than I once was and that I've matured.

hum i think myself as more reserved around does i have just met. Rest of the time loud and spew one to many random facts something i have being trying to tone down a bit

This actually caught people off guard with me when I was child. I was extremely introverted and I still am. I need time by myself in quiet and without others. On the other hand, especially as a child, I talked non-stop. I never listened, never asked a question about what the other person thought, and had no concept of when they wanted me to stop. I am better at that now but I still have to ask if I am unsure. I still depend on people giving honest answers. One thing that annoys me is when people lie to be polite... I wish they would tell me when they want me to stop. I also asked why all the time. I wanted to know how everything worked and fit together. The other person was simply there as a human wikipedia article. Once I had my information I wanted to be left alone to try it out.

I think it is important to remember that Aspie's also have very distinct personalities, just like anyone else. We come in quiet, loud, musical, artistic, good at sports, and not. We come loyal, trusting, argumentative, optimistic, and not.

I was definitely a talkative Aspie

Quiet and I also prefer talking to quiet people.

It depends on the situation.

If I'm with my girlfriend (NT), I can talk for hours and hours. I never can get bored since she gets interested in my hobbies even if she didn't know anything about them. If friends get me on the right topic, I can talk for hours.

Now, if I don't know the people and they're talking about sports and other stuff I don't know. I just smile and nod. I don't say anything. If possible, I'll remove myself from the situation (either physically or with my phone) if my surroundings prove to be uninteresting.

I think I just tend not to say anything if there is nothing important to say. I'm not shy. If I go to a group of people I don't know, but everyone has a common interest, that's enough for me to break the ice and not care. I've always been blunt and thick. If I cared what others thought, then my life would be hell because I accepted myself as me.

I'm definitely a quiet aspie. I'm not shy or anxious though. I just don't like talking, so I rarely do it. I don't understand why most people feel the need to talk so much.

I feel even less like talking when I know that the other person is not really interested in what I'm saying or not really listening. It just feels pointless to talk to someone who doesn't care. And with my interests being unusual and rare and with me having very little in common with most people I meet, there just isn't much to talk about, so I prefer silence over empty conversations.

I generally find it draining and difficult to talk and simply prefer to not do it much.

Hmm... how should I put this?

When I was in middle school, I was famous for not talking. I was asked if I was a mute at least 3-4 times a day. Some days in excess of 40 times.

If I'm not in the mood, I generally never say more than just a few words. This is about 95% of the time, maybe even more.