Do Aspies get worse with age?

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I want more anyway

I agree.

I believe I got worse since my 20's and 30's. I do not even attempt to go out of the house or even try to make new friends. Once my parents die the only way anyone will know I am dead is when they smell the stench from my rotting corpse.

Why do you feel it got worse? Do you feel it would have gotten worse if you were sharing it with a companion? Would the companion worsen your Asperger's Syndrome and make you more irrtiable or do you think it might have helped?

I use to have friends come over all the time. Most of them quit coming around when I started ignoring them or made excuses as to why I did not want to go out.



I would have found some way to to drive her off or just ignored her until she left me. Just having around would have eventually pissed me off.



A companion would have worsend my Aspergers by having to read the companion's moods, meanings, and trying to figure out what they are planning on a daily basis.

Mine did not get worse with age, but with responsibilities. When you're young and carefree your ASD only affect yourself. I've always been an aspie of course, but I did not have anxiety disorder until I have a kid. It's way more work than I imagined, and I didn't cope well. Then I had another baby. Once you're parents you're considered mature and people expect you to assume all sorts of responsibilities. I got to take care of old grandma, help my crazy brother, remember and care about my aging parents...etc. Then the kids reached school age and you gotta send them and pick them up, deal with all sorts of school stuff, tutor them, socialize with other parents, talk to each teacher, arrange playdates and birthday parties, and for my kids, arrange therapies for their autism. You gotta shop for food, clothes, presents and everything for everybody in the family. And almost nobody appreciate what you do because that's what you're supposed to do, and people often think I sit there all day with nothing to do and can jabber to them any time. I'm barely staying above the water most weeks, and often feel guilty about not doing as much as I should. I have not made any new friends since I became a mom, I just don't have the time and energy for friendship.

Anyway I think aspies tend to get better with age until they reach a point, when life's getting too much for them and drag them down again. Of course if an aspie does not get married or have children, and has absolutely wonderful supportive family, they might never reach that point. I was the happiest from 19 to 29 and had plenty of friends.

@y-pod

Honestly, it's not just being an Aspie. Being a mom in general, for people of any type, usually means a lot of extra work, little or no appreciation and little or no emotional support. My mom has similar issues to what you describe, and she's the only normal one in my family; all the other members of the family seem to be Aspies of some sort.

After you do a lot for a while people start to take things for granted. While I understand the issue now and help my mom in whatever way I can, me alone isn't quite enough IMO.

Hang in there. While people may not explicitly show their appreciation for you, you are doing something significant that nobody else can replace.

To other people, please appreciate your moms for what they do. Mental appreciation is one thing, but voiced appreciation is far better. Voice appreciation followed by actions - that's the best.

Most of us on here appear to be relatively young and may have the opportunity to improve and find ways to deal with our issues. But, I think a day comes when you no longer improve, mainly due to age-related physical deteriorations coming in to play, e.g. hearing, sight, joints. My mum is 77 and doesn't have any sort of diagnosis, but she agrees with me that she's very like my daughter, who is being assessed. As she's gotten older, she's had a few health problems, one of which is osteoarthritis in her spine. She gets an injection for the pain every couple of months, but when it's wearing off, she gets the pain back. She doesn't care for trying to please and becomes quite intolerant of others (which is inevitable as she's in agony). She appears more distant and deep in her own thoughts and more Aspie-ish than ever. Sometimes she's like my daughter, in her lack of response.

It is difficult, to say the least, for someone in constant physical pain to be at their best.

I would say things get better as you age because you can learn to cope with your environment better. I haven't seen anything to suggest that ASD is a progressive disorder.

I wonder if the cognition is stable throughout the ASD lifespan? I've wondered about my ADHD and only having family to look at, I can see a marked drop in working memory capacity. Other than this, nothing, but the reality is one doesnt have enough of 'this' to begin with, and any loss would be catastrophic. I guess if it comes when one is out of the working world it doesn't matter.

It is what it is, though.

Doesn't ADHD by itself cause loss in working memory capacity?

My reference was to ADD family with age.

Yes. It affects verbal and visual cognition.

All in all, it is an easy one to understand the concept behind the social problems that arise from it. The outside 'load' that confronts you is memory taxing, because of one's divided attention. Interestingly, ToM is( can be) delayed in this from what I understand, but 'intact.' There is a substrate to build ToM on , but it may not get there.

that is a very real possibility for unemployed hermits, in general.

I'm better in some ways - having had some sharp edges smoothed off, such as understanding the purpose of small talk (even if it still bores or perplexes me), but worse in others & I think the worsening bits are winning out, mainly due to having put up with so much stress & problems at work & at home over the years.

I emerged from a very scared childhood & teens and spent most of my 20's recovering from that, learned more social skills etc, 30 onwards have been mainly clinging on by my fingernails due to work & home stresses. Now i'm emerging from years of that, understanding why I have the difficulties but feel like I just honestly can't be bothered pretending to be something i'm not any more. I'm worn out pretending & I only hope I can find a new equilibrium that lets me work & exist without feeling 'wrong' or in some perpetual state of stress.

So feels like it's worse because i've exhausted my coping strategies, but maybe (hopefully) it will get better again in future & this is just another phase.

Or I could join the hermit club & acquire a random collection of animals and antique electrical components ...

I'm going to try to make my last dying act be opening the back door so that the wolves can come in and have dinner.