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CheshireCat1
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12 Oct 2011, 3:22 pm

Would it bother Aspies if a spouse wants them to go with them to Church on most Sunday mornings? The spouse would say that (Aspie spouse) doesn't have to be a Christian or like Church but it would be nice if they attend (with the Spouse) so that it could make them happy and be a social thing (for the spouse). Is that too much to ask from most Aspies? Would you consider it reasonable or too much of a sacrifice? It wouldn't have to be EVERY Sunday....
*For instance, the Spouse could make Aspie Spouse a really special home-cooked nice dinner every Sunday if Aspie Spouse agreed to go to church. So would that make it easier?



Last edited by CheshireCat1 on 12 Oct 2011, 3:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

aspie48
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12 Oct 2011, 3:27 pm

depends how much church sucks. i havent been in a while but there are a lot of posts on here that say aspies don't like the social scene at church. maybe if you agreed to leave quickly it would be ok. and a cooked dinner would probably help too.



opal
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12 Oct 2011, 3:29 pm

CheshireCat1 wrote:
Would it bother Aspies if a spouse wants them to go with them to Church on most Sunday mornings? The spouse would say that (the Aspie) doesn't have to be a Christian or like Church but it would be nice if they attend (with the Spouse) so that it could make them happy and be a social thing (for the spouse). Is that too much to ask from most Aspies? Would you consider it reasonable or too much of a sacrifice? It wouldn't have to be EVERY Sunday....
*For instance, the Spouse could make the Aspie a really special home-cooked nice dinner every Sunday if the Aspie agreed to go to church. So would that make it easier?


Why do you keep referring to your spouse as " the Aspie"? That alone would bother me...... It's like being called"the cripple" or the blind dude.
I think most PEOPLE would resent getting up on MOST Sunday mornings to attend an activity they didn't like with people whose beliefs they don't share.



CheshireCat1
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12 Oct 2011, 3:29 pm

aspie48 wrote:
depends how much church sucks. i havent been in a while but there are a lot of posts on here that say aspies don't like the social scene at church. maybe if you agreed to leave quickly it would be ok. and a cooked dinner would probably help too.

I understand that. Thank you for your input :)



CheshireCat1
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12 Oct 2011, 3:30 pm

opal wrote:
CheshireCat1 wrote:
Would it bother Aspies if a spouse wants them to go with them to Church on most Sunday mornings? The spouse would say that (the Aspie) doesn't have to be a Christian or like Church but it would be nice if they attend (with the Spouse) so that it could make them happy and be a social thing (for the spouse). Is that too much to ask from most Aspies? Would you consider it reasonable or too much of a sacrifice? It wouldn't have to be EVERY Sunday....
*For instance, the Spouse could make the Aspie a really special home-cooked nice dinner every Sunday if the Aspie agreed to go to church. So would that make it easier?


Why do you keep referring to your spouse as " the Aspie"? That alone would bother me...... It's like being called"the cripple" or the blind dude.
I think most PEOPLE would resent getting up on MOST Sunday mornings to attend an activity they didn't like with people whose beliefs they don't share.

I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that! I will edit it. I just didn't know what else to call it.



twich
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12 Oct 2011, 3:58 pm

CheshireCat1 wrote:
opal wrote:
CheshireCat1 wrote:
Would it bother Aspies if a spouse wants them to go with them to Church on most Sunday mornings? The spouse would say that (the Aspie) doesn't have to be a Christian or like Church but it would be nice if they attend (with the Spouse) so that it could make them happy and be a social thing (for the spouse). Is that too much to ask from most Aspies? Would you consider it reasonable or too much of a sacrifice? It wouldn't have to be EVERY Sunday....
*For instance, the Spouse could make the Aspie a really special home-cooked nice dinner every Sunday if the Aspie agreed to go to church. So would that make it easier?


Why do you keep referring to your spouse as " the Aspie"? That alone would bother me...... It's like being called"the cripple" or the blind dude.
I think most PEOPLE would resent getting up on MOST Sunday mornings to attend an activity they didn't like with people whose beliefs they don't share.

I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that! I will edit it. I just didn't know what else to call it.


Your spouse is still your spouse regardless of any condition, just call him that, or him/ he/ his (or the female ones if that's the case.) I think they as a person might not like church, or they might, regardless of being an aspie. Every person is different, you'd have to ask your spouse to see how they'd feel.



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12 Oct 2011, 4:12 pm

It really depends on the person and the church. Despite believing in God, I'd not be comfortable going to most churches.



DreamLord
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12 Oct 2011, 4:26 pm

I dont mind church, I find most clergy to be intelligent, caring, thinking men. Of course as a pagan my views diverge from theirs but compared to most of the population I find them to be far better company.

It might get a little dull after a few months though but the last time I went I found the sermon fascinating and worthy of listening to regardless of religious beliefs. Maybe I'm just too intellectually minded. Suppose it depends on the Aspie.



Last edited by DreamLord on 12 Oct 2011, 11:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

N0tYetDeadFred
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12 Oct 2011, 4:32 pm

I agree with the last couple of posters...I don't fit into most churches, but I get along better with clergy than others who go there. I think we usually have a different sense of ethics than many churchgoers, and the perceived duplicity can be a turnoff.

It may help the person in question to find a group of intellectuals or "different" people with similar interests within the church. At mine, I generally hang out with a) the scientists, b) the musicians, and c) the people in the recovery program



Last edited by N0tYetDeadFred on 12 Oct 2011, 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

glasstoria
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12 Oct 2011, 4:33 pm

IF your significant other has social obligations that they have to keep up with, such as a job outside the home, or children to take care of then, then I can see why going to church on Sunday might be a no go. I think for me it is in that situation. However, if I didn't have too many other social obligations during the week it might be more negotiable.

As other posters said, it definitely depends on the church and the community there. If your SO gets pressured to chit chat or gets cornered by other church goers or is made uncomfortable that isn't going to be a great experience. Maybe it is just me because religions and spirituality have been a special interest for a long time, but I like visiting churches sometimes and some of them are very comfortable and nice compared to others.

All relationship things involve degrees of compromise whether your partner is on the spectrum or not, so, really talk to them about it and give them time to process the discussion before you expect a definite answer.

hope that helps!


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12 Oct 2011, 5:07 pm

I would consider it very unreasonable and would not ever go. That is because I'm an athiest and don't believe in any of that stuff. I don't believe in forcing religion on people and I think it would by hypocritical for me to go.

The answer for your particular situation depends on how they feel about religion and how they feel about being around lots of people.

It's possible they might be ok with it or just do it to do something with you. I go to the racetrack when my friend visits from out of state. It's not because I love it, I can take it or leave it. I only do it to hang out with them.

I wouldn't be completely unwilling to compromise if it was something my partner liked and I felt neutral about but religion related stuff is something where I can't compromise.



Last edited by hanyo on 12 Oct 2011, 6:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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12 Oct 2011, 6:04 pm

It wouldn't bother me. I'd be thrilled to have a partner who would invite me to go to church with them.


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To7m
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12 Oct 2011, 6:06 pm

(Attempting not to insult religious people)

I'd be increasingly annoyed at them, regardless of a reward system, because they'd purposely be making me miserable (I wouldn't be able to enjoy going to a church, would rather watch the mudkipz video repeatedly for the same amount of time), so I don't think it'd be worth it, it might increase their socialness temporarily, but the benefits wouldn't outweigh their misery, assuming they wouldn't like going to church



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12 Oct 2011, 6:14 pm

CheshireCat1 wrote:
Would it bother Aspies if a spouse wants them to go with them to Church on most Sunday mornings? The spouse would say that (Aspie spouse) doesn't have to be a Christian or like Church but it would be nice if they attend (with the Spouse) so that it could make them happy and be a social thing (for the spouse). Is that too much to ask from most Aspies? Would you consider it reasonable or too much of a sacrifice? It wouldn't have to be EVERY Sunday....
*For instance, the Spouse could make Aspie Spouse a really special home-cooked nice dinner every Sunday if Aspie Spouse agreed to go to church. So would that make it easier?



I would hate it. I do not enjoy religion. If I am going to have to go to church on Sunday, I am going to suck them into my fetish by making them get involved in it. That's how much I hate religion (I'm an atheist) so I will make them do things they hate so much too because if I have to make this sacrifice, I want them to do it back to me. Fair is fair. If they don't want to do it, don't make me go to church.

Plus there are other social things aspies can go to like autism groups or family gatherings or a party or a sports game, going out to eat with friends.



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12 Oct 2011, 11:00 pm

It depends on the person. I don't mind going to church, as I've been going to church every Sunday for my entire life, but if he isn't religious then I don't suggest forcing him to go to church.



rpcarnell
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12 Oct 2011, 11:13 pm

I dislike religions too. I'd love to find a woman who is not religious, so I don't have to go through the hassle of going to church, for example.


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