''You need to get out to clubs and bars to meet people!''

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Don't this critical comment really annoy you?

Personally, I don't think clubs and bars are the right place for a socially phobic shy person on the Autistic spectrum to be able to make the right friends. I've been to these kinds of places before, and the music was loud, I couldn't hear myself or other people talk, it was too cold to stand outside and talk to people, and everybody were obnoxious and got drunk, and I just found myself sitting in a corner wanting to go home, and when I did get home I had just as many friends as I had before I went to the party, in other words it wasn't worth going at all because I didn't make friends with anybody. OK, I said the odd few words, but why should I make all the effort? If I make too much effort I just end up making a fool of myself or worrying that I will, and I don't always like to get on the wrong side of teenagers, especially when they start getting drunk....

Nope. Clubs and bars are not the right place for me to meet people. I wish people knew that there are lots of other ways to meet people. The friends I've got now were never first met in a bar. Some I met at my voluntary job, some I met on the bus, some I met at courses I've done, and some I've even met in the library, where I don't normally go to. So I didn't even need to do much to meet people at these sorts of places, whereas going to a bar took up my whole energy and didn't do me any good at all. I think bars and clubs are more for people who like to socialise, not to just walk in and make friends (unless you are an outgoing person who makes friends within a flash of lightening). But otherwise, for people who are shy and need to make the right friends, I think clubs and bars are a stupid idea if you're not into drinking and dancing and dressing up.
Anyone else agree?

Never been to a club or bar (technically this restaurant that I like is a bar, but I don't drink there and it's usually pretty empty), sounds dull. You said you have friends now. If you want more, can't you meet them in the same way you met your current friends?

I don't like them either-I do not drink the noise is overwhelming and the people there many of them are looking for a quick hook up and then its over.

I used to go to bars when I was younger but they never did me any good. Now that I don't drink I'm not interested in going to bars again. I also don't have sex and no longer find it flattering for guys to come on to me so that's another reason to not go to bars (at least straight ones).

I have a friend that visits once a year that kind of wants us to go to a bar. We didn't this year but she said maybe next year. They don't seem to realize I just won't drink any alcohol any more and I won't dress in a sexy and revealing outfit like I used to. I'd feel like I was in drag and not comfortable at all.

If we did go to a bar it would definitely be a gay one. I have no interest in being around drunken heterosexual man. I like gays guys though so that could be fun as long as no one puts pressure on me to drink.

I've never been to a bar or club but I can't see how anyone could possibly make friends in one... Don't you need to be able to hear the other person speak to be friends with them? I used to go to a small pub for karaoke night which was pleasant but then some guy perved on me big time and I ran outside screaming. I am NEVER going around drunks again. Plus they probably won't remember who you are the next morning...

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I have HFA, ADHD, OCD & Tourette syndrome. I love animals, especially my bunnies and hamster. I skate in a roller derby team (but I'll try not to bite )

"I don't like bars and I have enough friends."

Even if i could summon the immortal power of being able to approach someone and talk to them... i cant imagine a scenario where it wouldnt be a bit creepy if there was no direct reason to make their aquaintence in the first place... if that makes sense... I guess you would approach with the interest of getting to know them in one way or another... which can be considered a viable reason...

But still i couldnt imagine being the one to go up to a girl without comming off as a weirdo perv...

I totally dont get this idea! One of those stupid NT things. Lets say you were to meet someone at a club and that person was drunk...how would you know what that person is like when they are sober...or if they are ever sober? Meeting people in that enviroment pretty much guarentees that who you meet will have an alcohol problem. It is just stupid.

Personally, I like meeting people at fiber guilds cause fiber art is one of my biggest interests.

I suggest finding hobby clubs in which you have similar interests, rather than drinking clubs to meet people.

Jojo

I don't go in this kind of public places. It scare me. There's too much peoples, too much noise. Same at the school, I can't hear myself to think, we can't be alone, it drive me insane. It's really not places for Aspies.

"Why you don't go outside ? Otherwise, you'll never blablabla..."

I really hate this sentence.

I tried this. I like to go to concerts, but I don't care about people then, I want to listen to music. I tried to make friends in the clubs, so I went to the theme parties (like Depeche Mode Party or Rockoteque) few times... and NOTHING HAPPENED. People come there with their friends, they spend time together and don't care about others. I was invisible like always.

For someone as socially challenged as an Aspie, a club or bar is the worst place to try and meet people-too much noise/static. This may be fine for NTs, but not for me.

When I did go to bars in the past I never approached anyone. I always waited for them to approach me and then it was usually a male hoping to get sex (unless I was in a gay bar).

"Go to clubs and bars and meet people" to me, translates to "Go to the dentist and get some drilling done with no novocaine".

Charles

I always knew Aspies were smart people!

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Asperges me, Domine!

Why, I don't want to listen to your boring stories drunken or otherwise.

I simply don't get it, why aspie would want a friend it makes about as much sense to me as that ranting tea partier fool on tax freedom day