Hi, There! (I'd Like Your Opinion!)

Post Reply New Topic

You said that you are "fairly gifted socially," so that's where I took my "no social issues" from. Not much of a stretch.

I mean, who I am to say (no one, that's who), but I don't think you'd be diagnosable. Part of having AS or any other ASD is that you have "clinically significant impairment." In other words, your daily life is affected by your issues.

Verbosity and hyperlexia are unrelated. I had hyperlexia (read by 2 and fluently by 4), but I'm not very verbal at all.

If you have clinically significant impairment and need help, seek diagnosis. If not, self-diagnose... but without that impairment, you don't actually have the disorder, just traits.

I'm not sure why, but it seems to me that you're coming off as a tad hostile with me over this. Yeah, I can talk to people--so what? Just because you and others can't doesn't mean that they don't have AS. From what I've been reading, women with AS are noted to be less likely to have the same severe social ineptitude that male Aspies suffer from.

Additionally, I'm pretty certain that I'm not doing this to 'feel special' or be 'one of the crowd'. I /do/ have significant impairment to my life, though possibly not by your standards. Everyone is different. If I didn't have such a loving, accepting husband, I wouldn't be anywhere nearly as healthy and better balanced as I am, today. He gives me tons of support, which not everyone with AS has, unfortunately.

Maybe it's just me being paranoid and reading between the lines, but you seem almost angry that I've 'self-diagnosed' as AS and I don't seem to present the symptoms you find acceptable. Well, frankly, most times--more often than not--people don't share the exact same symptoms or at the exact same degree. So, yes, I don't suffer /as/ much from the social interaction aspect, but that's not to say I /enjoy/ it and seek it out. I don't. I'm a homebody and prefer to be only with my husband.

I put a lot of information up there. I really doubt that I have all those symptoms, signs and tells...and I'm just absolutely not going to be diagnosed professionally with AS, because I don't suffer from crippling inability to speak with people. That's just me. Thanks for your opinion. I feel pretty confident that this is what's going on with me. When I went through this, earlier this morning, it really was like an epiphany and that my world suddenly made a lot more sense. If that's wrong, then I guess I don't want to be right.

What were you like as a child? That's the easiest way to tell if you have a developmental disorder or if you have some autistic traits found in many people.

Your social skills sound too advanced for someone with ASD. And your description of your social activities as "easy" does not sound like something that someone on the spectrum would say.

Oh, man, this post has a sassiness about it I've rarely seen from females on Wrong Planet. No offense, but your interpretation of hostility along with your resulting attitude seems pretty neurotypical. I'm not saying that you /can't/ have other AS characteristics (Everyone is autistic at least a little in some ways, right?), but the ones relating to theory of mind, social cognition and emotional awareness don't seem impaired like they /usually/ are in AS individuals.

Truthfully 33 is not that high of a score. It doesn't mean that you definitely don't have an ASD, but introversion, social anxiety, ADD, or other things of that sort can easily make your score that high. Don't take that to mean much either way. Most people with Asperger's score at least a 36, but that's close enough that it can go either way.



This is very non-aspie like. People with Asperger's don't necessarily dislike it, but being impared socially is a requirement of a diagnosis of Asperger's. Chit-chatty conversations especially suggests not to me, as people can much easier not know how well they actually get along with others.



This actually makes me think of ADHD more than AS.



This definitely could be an AS trait.



Why do you do this?



Yep, sensory issues exist in ASDs, though if you turn out not to be on the spectrum, I'd recommend you researching SPD. While it seems to me that most people with SPD are autistic not everyone is (and the levels of sensory issues varies widely within those with ASDs).



This also screams not an aspie to me. Knowing how to read tone of voice, body language and such is something that we have difficulties with.



On the other hand, while some people say this suggests not being autistic, it doesn't to me.



Not everyone with an ASD has alexithymia but it is really common. This doesn't necessarily mean you don't have one, but it does weaken your case.



Why do you lose it? Why did you?




Listening to the same thing over and over seems like an ASD trait.



The requirement of the tweezing doesn't sound like a stim to me. I don't know enough about OCD to see whether it fits better there though.

I can't tell whether or not you stim from this description.



This doesn't mean anything in particular to me.



Again, this seems like it can be an ASD trait.

--
As a whole reading this post I'd say I don't think you have Asperger's. The DSM-IV criteria for Asperger's Syndrome is as follows:



What you have written seems to explicitly say that I-A, I-B, and I-D are not true for you, which means that criteria I cannot be true and it is required for diagnosis.

These criteria are written without taking much of how people adapt into account, but it really does not seem to describe what you've described well. From what you've written I have no idea where the perceived social issues are beyond just being an introvert. They might exist, but as described it really sounds like you haven't done enough research on the subject to self-diagnose and like you don't match the criteria. ADHD/OCD introvert sounds a lot more likely than Asperger's, though I know not nearly enough about either of those to know if you might match one or both diagnostic criteria.

Also, I have no idea where you read hostility in SuperTrouper's post.

Okay... The thing is, this is how I was raised to be--capable of interesting, polite social chit-chat. I was born in the South and my family does things the "Southern way." I was always a bright, happy child who laughed a lot and, if prompted about something I was really interested in or by a loved one, I would talk endlessly about it/to them. However, I was painfully shy and wanted very much to please the people around me. Still am, to a certain degree. So, when a stranger says something to me, I do my utmost to smile and at least nod.


It's possible that I have ADHD, too.


If I knew, do you think I'd list it as a possible exemplar of AS? I honestly don't know. It affects lots of areas of my life and insignificant ones, too. I think it /may/ be related to hyperlexia, but I'm not positive on that. I just know that it's involuntary and pervasive.


What if, as a younger child, you were shy and sweet, trusting and trying to make friends with people? And, you were continually mistreated, lied to and teased for being 'gullible'? This was very much my experience, as a child. The fact that I began to focus strongly on 'reading' people, so I could understand what they were thinking/feeling/saying, was a coping mechanism. I got hurt, a lot. I didn't want to be hurt by people anymore, so I instinctively started trying to understand how people interacted, I suppose, to try and map out personality types and how to deal with them. It's always been that way, for me. Maybe it's how I 'mask'. Maybe not. But, it /is/ how I deal with social interactions. I have personality type profiles that I put people into and act with them in a fashion that's proved successful with that personality type, in the past.


I'm a super emotional person. I've always been strongly affected by my own and others'. It's probably partially why I've struggled my whole life to understand emotions and why I (and others) feel them.


Well, I don't really have a 'case,' per se, but I can see what you're saying. Again, I think this is deeply rooted in my childhood, where it became an overarching goal in my life to express how I'm feeling and why--because it was important for me to understand it for myself, but also because I realize that people aren't psychic. A lot of times, people don't really understand me or my reactions to things--not unless they know me really well. My husband is one of the very, very few people who know me well enough to know why I'm reacting a certain way--even if I don't realize it. I think I express myself well, but I guess I don't always succeed--but, that doesn't stop me from trying. I often end up having to explain my thought processes to people, because I don't put all the connecting dots in my first telling, I suppose. So, maybe I'm not as good at communicating as I thought I was--I certainly didn't do a great job of it last night, when replying to SuperTrouper.


I don't know. Emotional overwhelming, usually. Rage/anger are actually, more often than not, fear-lash-outs for me. Sure, I get irritated and will be gruffer than I would normally be. Feeling as though I'm being attacked or being called a liar will have me almost instantly on the defensive and responding snippily--which is what I did, last night. I'd like to apologize to SuperTrouper for letting my defensiveness get the better of me. I've gotten better over the years with my husband's help and patience, but I'm not perfect.


It's very possible that I don't have Asperger's. It's possible. It's also possible that I do. If I /do/ have AS, it's possible that I'm not taking everything into account and I don't even fully understand my own psychology (and, who does, without a psychologist's aid?). It's possible that I've left out key points of information that would explain my situation better or show more fully what I'm like, as a person. The problem is, I don't know how to better express myself than what I've done. I've had friends, but never super close friends (not until I was an adult). When I was younger, I was friends with people, but always sort of distanced. I always felt on the outside of the bubble, that I didn't quite understand why we did this or that... But, I just dealt with it. I coped, adapted and evolved.

The fact that I was challenged in my own thoughts of probably being an Aspie--especially when I argued with myself for hours over whether or not I should even /ask/ about it, here--led to me feeling attacked and thinking I was being called a liar. My mother often did stuff like that to me-- "You're fine, there's nothing wrong with you. You're saying that because you want to feel special." ..Maybe she didn't actually use those words, but it was how it came off, to me. I apologize for letting that old baggage swing in with me, but it's a part of me that's difficult to leave behind. And, really, this isn't an uncommon thing for me. I often react, thinking someone's meaning/saying something in particular, and I'm wrong about whatever it is--and awkwardness ensues. I guess I think I do well in social situations, but maybe not as well as I thought/hoped. I tend to get myself into situations where everyone ends up feeling bristly, due to communication errors. Fancy that.

I'm not being remotely hostile toward you. This is how I speak (rather, type, as I don't speak very much) to people all the time. Actually, I speak with far more brevity than I type. You asked for an opinion, and I gave you mine, which I maintain, and you say I'm being hostile because I disagree with you.

I happen to believe that autism is not "I'm quirky and don't love to socialize." I believe that, in order to be diagnosable, autism must cause significant daily impairment. The DSM agrees with me. Rather than "it makes me feel better to identify with autism," I'm talking about "I can't survive or make it in this world (or will do so very marginally) unless I get services, and the only way to services is a diagnosis."

I just can't see enough similarities between the live I live with a diagnosis of mild-moderate autism and your descriptions to even consider that it has the same neurological basis.

I believe that you may have "sublinical autism" or be on the Broader Autism Phenotype (have traits of ASD).

Thank you for your opinion. I didn't think you were being hostile because you disagree with me. It's more along the lines of something else.... I'll quote for you and bold the statements that make me feel the same kind of defensiveness I felt, before.


In the above paragraph, to me, it seems as though you're reducing a very emotional moment in my life into something flippant, ignorant and worse. I'm not trying to learn more about this for any other reason than to try to understand. Also, what's so wrong with feeling better to know that some of the worst hampering things in your life aren't necessarily your fault?


Well, okay. If you say so. But, I've been coming to realize that a lot of what I thought was 'normal' about me...isn't so 'normal.' It's entirely possible that I've both misunderstood concepts that others have grasped and also unintentionally misrepresented myself through that selfsame misunderstanding. Maybe I've got AS and maybe not. Maybe I'm ASD and maybe not. But, honestly, AS is a broad spectrum; right?

I know it's a thing that people with AS struggle to understand, but...not everyone will have the same symptoms as everyone before them. I've spent 32 years of my life coping, adapting and blending--without realizing it. So, it can maybe be a little easier to understand that maybe I've adapted or learned to cope with certain areas you haven't. And, as my other posts will attest, if it weren't for my husband, I would NOT be able to make it through life without assistance.

Though I apologized in a previous post in this thread, I wanted to apologize, again, to you. I felt like I was being criticized and belittled. If that's not what you intended, I'm sorry. If it is, okay, whatever. Whatever the case, I'm sorry I got disgruntled and replied snippily.


Thank you for your suggestion. I'll definitely mention it to a doctor, if I can ever manage to afford seeing one on this subject.

Perhaps that's the issue, then. I don't feel emotion about autism or identfying with it and never have. When I first heard about ASD, my reaction was something like, "Oh." And then when someone suggested to me that I had it, again, yes, things clicked over time... but I didn't really feel emotion about it. My diagnosis just got changed; I'm moving "down" the spectrum. Should I feel something about that, then? I don't know.

I'm sorry if I made some huge moment in your life seem like no big deal. Didn't mean to. Maybe part of it is that I (we) hear from so many scores of people who say, "I have AS!" "I just realized I have AS!" "I just read about AS!" and... well, after hundreds of times, my response is pretty much, "Maybe and maybe not and you'll never know without an evaluation."

Also, AS or not, if you can identify with it, then try using some strategies that people with ASD find helpful (schedules, routines, read books, etc)... this will help regardless.

One more also. Have you read the diagnostic criteria? That's better than any online test.

Actually, no, it isn't really. But I suppose it depends heavily on what you mean by "broad."

In comparison to some other disorders, ADHD for example, it is broader, but in comparison to the human experience, it is very narrow indeed.

Frankly, after reading more of your posts in this thread, I'm leaning more toward the probability that you would not likely meet the criteria for AS.

The "clinically significant impairment" factor is extremely important.



This just sounds like shyness to me.

I was also "raised" to be capable, interesting, and to engage in polite social chit-chat. I spent most of my childhood being chastised for not being that way. I would talk endlessly to anyone about anything that interested me, but was chastised constantly because if other's interests did not interest me, I would not talk to them at all. I never had any interest in pleasing anyone, except my parents. I had to teach myself to care about other people's interests, and what I actually learned was how to FEIGN interest. I am STILL not interested in anything that interests others, but not me. When a stranger says something to me, I too do my utmost to smile and at least nod, however it took me many years to do so. Even now, many people ask me why i never smile.

Trust me please. I am not trying to dismiss how strongly your traits have affected you. I'm not trying to minimize any of it. I do strongly believe though, that you may be underestimating just how debilitating AS really is.

That could very well be the issue! I'm an incredibly emotional person, though, so it's not like I haven't been accused (about a trillionty times) of being 'sensitive' and 'overly emotional'. As for whether or not you should feel something about your diagnosis being changed--well, if you do, then you do. If you don't, then you don't. Each person (and each Aspie) is different and reacts differently to everything. If you feel like you /should/ feel something about it, maybe talk to your doctor/therapist and see what they think?

Oh, no, honestly, I understand. I didn't want to /be/ one of the people who jump up and down like they've won the lottery when they self-diagnose or whatever. I think that's why I was scared to post, at all, but my curiosity and need-to-know was greater. But, I'll also admit I was expecting the groaning and rolling of eyes, so I was probably even more sensitive about it than I'd normally be. Like I said, I feel pretty strongly that I've got AS and, if not that, then something very similar. I just wondered if there were other Aspies who could identify with some of my weirdness, which is why I came here.

I do plan to do that, actually. I'll continue to suspect I've got AS and try to handle my life accordingly, until I get a diagnosis of AS or whatever else it might be. It can't hurt, anyway; right?

I have read the diagnostic material, yes. However, the issue with me, anyway, is that reading really dry text like that makes it hard for me to parse and comprehend--even if I'm really interested in it. I don't know how much I really understand by the criteria, either, because I wasn't even aware that I wasn't behaving normally, to begin with. I didn't know it was strange to be sensitive to certain kinds of food textures (pudding is the devil) or lots of other things I'm learning since coming to these forums. It's helping me a lot to be able to read others' experiences, issues and questions, because I'm learning far more by examples than I do by generalizations. (I think that's also an Aspie thing, maybe.)

But, yes. Thank you!

I actually don't have AS but classic autism (mild-moderate, though I have more severe days).

It's true that AS an classic autism are similar, but there ARE differences. For example, many Aspies are actually highly emotional and empathic, while I'm kind of cold and distant. Or, many people with AS desperately want to socialize but don't know how, whereas it physically hurts me to be pulled outside of myself. Things like that.

As far as things like being sensitive to foods... I would say it'd normal to dislike one or two certain textures. It's when you have to cut out whole food groups that you get into autism sensory issues. Like, I don't eat any raw veg, only a select few cooked ones, no fruit, and no meat. I can't eat gluten for healthy reasons, so I'm down to rice, potatoes, and dairy.

I wouldn't get too into "Aspie things" because honestly, if it's not in the DSM, it doesn't matter, diagnostically. I'd stick to DSM-V guidelines, as that's where we're headed soon. Asperger's won't be a diagnosis after it comes out in a little more than a year.

Also look at DSM-V Social Communication Disorder.

I think that you can learn a lot about ASD by sticking around WP to find out how people experience autism. It seems like you have only researched the topic for a few days, and you are quite convinced that you have ASD. The descriptions of ASD online and in books are written by NTs and are NT interpretations of autism, so they do not provide a full picture of what it is like to be autistic. They do not explain why it is difficult to do small talk or what it is like when one is obsessed with an interest. They are really just lists of behaviors that anyone can exhibit some of the time.

Well, yes, if you compare it to the entire human experience! But, I think it allows for more flexibility than some of the views I've seen expressed (and not just toward me). If you read through the threads where lots of AS folks have been posting their personal experiences--like with eye contact, for example--it's easier to see just how 'broad' the symptoms really are.


Okay. Maybe I'm just super duper duper NT. Who knows! But, the more /I/ read, the more I'm leaning toward the probability that I meet the criteria for AS, personally.

Again, to say whether or not I meet the criteria for this would probably require knowing me better, maybe, but I have gone into detail in another thread about just how "significantly impaired" my existence is.

Oh, it isn't. I know the difference between not wanting to interact with people and feeling shy.

And, that's definitely your personal experience. But, in the 'Do you make eye contact?' thread in Women's Discussion, more than one person who's been professionally diagnosed have said they also managed to train themselves to find a way to either make eye contact, or feign it, when talking to people. Another friend I made a couple of months ago (who is diagnosed with AS) said he also doesn't have as much trouble communicating with others. So, the experiences are different with each different case, I think.

Why on earth would I underestimate how debilitating AS really is? Is there something in the way I type that makes me seem flippant, vapid and ridiculous? I'm really, honestly trying to understand something about myself. It's not like my life is all roses--no matter how many smiley faces I use in my posts. It's definitely not. I struggle with lots and lots of different issues--but, when I first posted, I had /no idea/ that many of the things I struggle with are actually related to AS. The more I read, the more I learn.

Do you struggle with give and take, back and forth, in relationships and conversation? Do people find you "odd" or "unusual?"

Do you (not as a child but now) struggle with eye contact and body language?

Do you have issues with typical relationships? (This one's hard to prove when you have a husband).

That's me breaking down the DSM-5 criteria for you.

Thank you for doing that!!

1.) Yes and no. It depends on the person I'm talking to and whether or not the conversation is interesting. People absolutely find me odd AND unusual--even friends.

2.) I struggle with eye contact (but I can fake it really well), but I've trained myself thoroughly throughout my life to try and read a person's body language as a coping mechanism--but, I'm not always right. It's systematic, how I determine what body language is saying, and based off of successful or unsuccessful past experiences with 'judging'.

3.) Before my husband, YES. God, yes. Most of my boyfriends broke up with me because they thought I was nuts. Super emotional, quick to attach, hyper-focusing on them, etc.