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swbluto
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25 Oct 2011, 10:07 pm

So, do you?

As far as I know, I tend to find well-liked people funner than less less well-liked people. It's kind of a cruel dynamic for those who are less well-liked (Like myself in real life), but it's the way it goes. Creativity, Verbal ability, Ability to recall interesting information on the fly, Humor, Extroversion and other characteristics are various traits that add to a person's "funness", and if you lack those traits or have diminished amounts of those traits, well, that's just the way god decided to roll the dice.

So, do you tend to like NTs more than Aspies since NTs tend to have more likable characteristics (They tend to be more creative, spontaneous, quick to humor, they're better able to point out things of interest to you, they're better able to read your emotional state and respond to it, etc.)? I mean, I want to get past this "Aspie" and "NT" dichotomy in viewing this issue and look it as one giant human spectrum, with aspies, on average, possibly being lower on the likability scale than NTs, on average.



Last edited by swbluto on 25 Oct 2011, 10:51 pm, edited 2 times in total.

ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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25 Oct 2011, 10:13 pm

My favorite people of all are the quiet loners. I love people like that. They don't talk much and they don't need to impress others by acting dumb. I don't care if they are Aspie or NT so long as they are quiet and don't act stupid to impress others. I really hate it when people will do anything to impress someone else. That is the thing that gets on my nerves the most, Aspie or not.



btbnnyr
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25 Oct 2011, 10:19 pm

I like weird people - NT, autistic, anything else - who like to s**t'n'giggle with me over the Queen, Dairy.



statschica
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25 Oct 2011, 10:22 pm

I know what you're talking about. And I know Aspergers people in my family who feel that way. In my experience that usually means they do not like/appreciate themselves enough. On the other hand, the one 2 of us who are autistic ie late talking I know are more of the opposite and think NTs are just annoying and are self confident and proud to be who we are.....albeit have had phases of admitting one has to (oftentimes begrudgingly lol) work with NTs (despite ones acknowledging that it's not better and oftentimes much more socially damaging than it appears ie NTs) to survive and get the things you need materially for yourself and other more vulnerables in the NT dominated world. Obviously my sample is very small but it's still strange to me to notice. I guess maybe you should just work on accepting who you are first, whoever that really is, and maybe you won't have these contradictory (to me) feelings as much? Also, if you look through history and think about the truly interesting people worth knowing, most of them did not exude these shallow NT characteristics you are pining for and idolizing in your friendships (also that really don't show any relevant measure of a person)..........on the other hand, life is not black and white. Autistics are not like as*holes who thrive on making people uncomfortable and I can bet you can over time even get a feel when someone is trying to be mean or insensitive to you and then when they can just not really help it which is different. In that respect it makes sense that you would not want to be around someone who is trying to harm you in some way.......obviously!! ! Best of luck



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25 Oct 2011, 10:48 pm

I don't like or dislike people based on their neurological wiring. I like or dislike them depending on how they treat me.



wavefreak58
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25 Oct 2011, 10:55 pm

I dislike all people equally. I am an equal opportunity curmudgeon.


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MakaylaTheAspie
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25 Oct 2011, 10:56 pm

Depends on the person.


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1000Knives
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25 Oct 2011, 10:57 pm

I don't know, one of my best internet friends has diagnosed Aspergers. I've known him since like 8th grade, before I even knew what Aspergers was. What I really liked was, he ALWAYS gives me a run for my money when I argue or bring up any point to him at all, instead of just being like "yeah sure, ok" he'll argue everything with me and make me fact check all my beliefs. So I've gotten pissed at him for like... a day, before, but besides that, he's one of my favorite people to talk to. Oddly, with him, he seems more like me, in that he's not a basement dweller, and is sorta "cool" but just...has this thing, like me.

Me personally, I tend to get along with lots of types of people. I like people that I can gain knowledge from. So, if someone can teach me something new, regardless of his crowd or whatever, I take advantage of it. I know some people I don't like their attitudes of much at all, ie, 50+ year old libertarian guy at the skating rink I go to, but I'm friends with them because of what they can teach me. Take the info now, deal with the attitude later.

For me, my thing is, I'm sorta "secretly" nerdy, or so self confident or contradictory (ie, wearing preppy clothing while blasting my anime music) about my nerdiness, people generally don't see it. Plus, I tend to know a lot of stuff and can help people. I can't give people emotional support at all, so I always feel the need to give people advice or knowledge on stuff. That, and I'm reasonably attractive, like, now it ends up people initially think I'm really cool, like a super duper cool person, then my, I guess it's called Aspieness, shows up, and people are just like "huh?"

So to summarize, of all people, first off, I generally hate hanging around with people my own age. I find it very weird, and it's like "what are you doing?" With adults, I feel much more at ease and will basically always talk to adults in public places randomly. I mean sometimes they give me a little "you're a silly kid" thing, but overall, they seem to respect me and I feel like I can communicate better. As far as extroverted people, cool people, etc, I could almost care less. I prefer people to not be a burden on me, so if their attitude is burdensome, then I tend to shy away. I like people I can exchange knowledge with, or at the very least that are receptive to new ideas. People that are wise, basically.

Going to more your original question, since I'm not a psychologist, and I've met only a handful of diagnosed Aspies in my life. Out of this handful, I got along pretty well with all of them, but I'm guessing tons of people on this board I would not get along well with at all for various reasons. Also, it seems a lot of people equate Aspie to nerd, and in my experience, this isn't true. The IRL Aspies I've met were pretty "cool" people, except for one of my friends, who used to be a super cool security guard before he had a meltdown and slowed his life down. Like they had some liking of nerdy hobbies, special interests, etc, but they weren't part of the nerd crowd.

The nerd crowd, I basically hate. I tried to be apart of it when I was younger, and honestly, it's just as destructive as if you're a super cool kid smoking weed all day. They seem to shun any attempts at bettering yourself at all. Ie, exercising, dieting, learning new non-nerdy things, etc. I used to go to an anime club, the social group there was very immature and lame really, and I never fit in regardless. It had it's good parts, moments, etc, but like, no... And other "nerds" too, tend to be closeminded, really. Like very "intellectual" people. Obviously not all, but many "intellectuals" I've met are more closeminded than "rednecks" I've met.

I think for all my life, I won't be very fitting in any social group. However, I guess I have a bit of a gift in that regard, as I have individual friends from almost all of them. Part of one of the things my Aspie friend told me about, it seems me and him go through periods of being an introvert or an extrovert. We go through super extroverty periods, then periods of introversion, just at complete random. For me, to avoid "crashing" I have to learn to keep a middle ground of sorts going. Like I was a really socially active guy even as far as a few months ago, then I just crashed. That's partially what made me start looking into Aspergers. At first, I thought I just broke out of my highschool "shell" etc, and all would be well and I'd be like I was for the rest of my life, then randomly, I just couldn't take it all anymore and became almost reclusive. During my reclusiveness, I didn't like, hikikomori out, in public I still kept appearances, but just the social functions I was doing, groups of friends, etc, I just stopped.

Sorry, I guess I did a bad job of answering your question.



Last edited by 1000Knives on 25 Oct 2011, 11:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

MathGirl
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25 Oct 2011, 11:01 pm

I like both groups equally (if you want to divide them into rigid groups in the first place - the divide isn't always that clear). However, I choose to spend most of my time with people on the spectrum for personal reasons.


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cyberdad
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25 Oct 2011, 11:08 pm

Never had an Aspie friend in my life despite myself, my brother and father all being undiagnosed Aspies.

I did finally work with an Aspie last year (Quite financially successful, he told me as much) and found him to be irritatingly abrupt and rude.

Based on my limited experience with Aspies I'd have to say NTs are more jovial and entertaining as friends. I imagine Aspies are great employees to have when they are focused but would make rather boring friends.



swbluto
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25 Oct 2011, 11:17 pm

cyberdad wrote:
I did finally work with an Aspie last year (Quite financially successful, he told me as much) and found him to be irritatingly abrupt and rude.


Did you he tell you about he became financially successful? Yes, I'm a greedy person wanting to know how aspies are getting rich. :D



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25 Oct 2011, 11:31 pm

swbluto wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
I did finally work with an Aspie last year (Quite financially successful, he told me as much) and found him to be irritatingly abrupt and rude.


Did you he tell you about he became financially successful? Yes, I'm a greedy person wanting to know how aspies are getting rich. :D


Online IT business, consulting to major companies from the comfort of home. He has enough to retire but likes coming in to do odd jobs for kicks and make new business contacts.

One growth area for Aspies (if you are interested) is managing online companies. Attention to detail and being online 24-7 is essential.



pensieve
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25 Oct 2011, 11:31 pm

I prefer the company of mad men.

While NT's might know how to carry a conversation and be sarcastic with each other without either side threatening nuclear annihilation, I find the topics of interest to be very limited. It's not true for all of them. My friend, who is most probably Bipolar, is like me where we just get absorbed by different subjects for a period of time. And it's good to have someone as a friend who at one point in their life was obsessed with Star Trek. On my sister's side, in her social circle, nerds are looked down on and they care about fashion, a certain type of music and the E! channel which I only remember I have when she comes over. It's really hard to find common ground with her without having to go back into our childhood interests.

My friend is also into political issues which is good. It means she gives a crap about what happens in the world outside of her own.
My brother, who narrowly escaped hyperactive childhood ADHD has more varied interests and I could talk about that stuff with him if he's stop going on about selling the house. Well, I'm getting interested in financial market now. That's a new low for me.

My eldest sister who supported my activist spirit is someone that is open minded.

There's a select group of NT's that I've met that I have managed to talk to. Because my dad was certainly on the spectrum my whole extended family has smatterings of traits throughout them. And we all have diverse interests. Either that or we're just all artists.

People that don't strive to stay in the confines of society are desirable to me. I need people to be open minded but argumentative, don't spend ages obsessing over fashion or worrying what people think about them. Most importantly, in some way be a nerd, or don't think lowly of nerds because they are my kind of people.
If people all thought the same way it would be boring and indeed I've met people that all have similar opinions to people over the other side of the world they've never met. It's not just a similar type of opinion but a perception of the world and it's probably drummed into their heads by the media and shared between those people in popular culture. OK, now I'm sounding like a conspiracy theorist. Ah well.


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25 Oct 2011, 11:37 pm

My first love was an aspie. I also have a couple pals whom I highly suspect to be aspies, though I don't think the girlfriend of one of them believed me when I said so. Pretty much everyone else either has ADD, or some kind of personality disorder.


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25 Oct 2011, 11:59 pm

pensieve wrote:
I prefer the company of mad men.

While NT's might know how to carry a conversation and be sarcastic with each other without either side threatening nuclear annihilation, I find the topics of interest to be very limited. It's not true for all of them. My friend, who is most probably Bipolar, is like me where we just get absorbed by different subjects for a period of time. And it's good to have someone as a friend who at one point in their life was obsessed with Star Trek. On my sister's side, in her social circle, nerds are looked down on and they care about fashion, a certain type of music and the E! channel which I only remember I have when she comes over. It's really hard to find common ground with her without having to go back into our childhood interests.

My friend is also into political issues which is good. It means she gives a crap about what happens in the world outside of her own.
My brother, who narrowly escaped hyperactive childhood ADHD has more varied interests and I could talk about that stuff with him if he's stop going on about selling the house. Well, I'm getting interested in financial market now. That's a new low for me.

My eldest sister who supported my activist spirit is someone that is open minded.

There's a select group of NT's that I've met that I have managed to talk to. Because my dad was certainly on the spectrum my whole extended family has smatterings of traits throughout them. And we all have diverse interests. Either that or we're just all artists.

People that don't strive to stay in the confines of society are desirable to me. I need people to be open minded but argumentative, don't spend ages obsessing over fashion or worrying what people think about them. Most importantly, in some way be a nerd, or don't think lowly of nerds because they are my kind of people.
If people all thought the same way it would be boring and indeed I've met people that all have similar opinions to people over the other side of the world they've never met. It's not just a similar type of opinion but a perception of the world and it's probably drummed into their heads by the media and shared between those people in popular culture. OK, now I'm sounding like a conspiracy theorist. Ah well.


Well blow me down! I thought I'm the only Australian who posts here?



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26 Oct 2011, 12:32 am

cyberdad wrote:
Well blow me down! I thought I'm the only Australian who posts here?


I can think of two more offhand - b9 and I think buryuntime.