Wondering what you appear like to others?

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Quiet, reserved, intelligent, thoughtful, serious. That's how most people describe me. Most people don't really know my more passionate/emotional side, or don't recognize that I do have a sense of humor. So my guess is most people don't really see the whole of me. I'm not quite sure what they see if anything beyond the descriptors I listed.

I generally seem to get thought of as ignorant or bitchy/cold, I'm told I come off as very defensive and unnecessarily secretive, which some people may mistake for hostility. I don't get told I'm miserable or sad (although I've been told I never smile a few times, my ex particularly noted this...or maybe that was just him) but I think perhaps people think I'm no fun or don't enjoy myself because I don't join in, 'relax' or really know how to have fun like they do.

When I was younger I was particularly goofy, as I've gotten older this has changed so that I now sometimes have a girly, childish and dumb persona - it's a self-defence, nervousness when talking to people - my friends are wise enough to know this isn't me and have sometimes scorned me for 'acting like you're dumb', I'd imagine some people think I'm trying to be cute, fake, or that I am actually dumb.

I hate to think about it really. Certainly it's a million miles off who I actually am, which is a shame because I think I'm awesome, I have to, no one else will ever know. We are who we are to the outside world, so it fills me with dread to think others don't know who I am, in turn I believe that we live on after death through people's memory of us so the idea that no one knows me means I'll not live on after death. It's a life and an eternity where only one person knows who I am; me.

I wonder about what I appear like to others because I realized that I had no idea about how others view me in the first place, and a certain scientific curiosity as to how people perceive me. I'm reminded of something kfisherx's psychologist told her about how others might view her because of her stimming.

This has my attention for the same reasons all things autism related have my attention. It's kind of endlessly fascinating.

This reason makes sense to me. Wanting to know in order to know, rather than know in order to make changes makes much more sense to me.

Humperdinck has been wondering about this recently and decided to ask some people. The responses were varied. apparently Humperdinck is super cool like the type of person who you want to hang around. apparently Humperdinck is so smart and so blunt it intimidates people and when he walks away due to being bored he oozes an air of superiority which puts people off. Then the way Humperdinck dresses is differant enough from the norm to be considered cool. Apparently Humperdinck is cool and has people trying to emulate him.

What Humperdinck thought, super geek, so out of touch that everyone must talk about how dopey he is behind his back and that is is as dumb as a doormouse.

It is weird.

For one, people at my work think I'm in High-school. I'm 23 by the way.

Shy or standoffish. They don't know what to make out of me. They think I have a bad attitude, they think theirs something wrong. Likely emotionally delicate and naive. It's starting to get very annoying with all the "What's wrong?" comments I get.

Once they find out how old I actually am, they likely think I'm socially and emotionally immature. My social/emotional maturity resembles someone in their later teens.

I don't really care anymore. If I had to pick a fictional character I can relate too, it would be Tails the fox from the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise. I'm not saying I'm so smart I can build spacecraft from stratch or that I follow blue hedgehogs around everywhere, but I could always relate to this little guy. If someone were to insult me to my face, I'd probably just insult them back.

I don't know if anyone was trying to emulate me, but I've been told by friends from high school I tracked down through Facebook or whatever that they thought I was cool back then. Which surprised me. But they were the uncool kids; I dunno what the cool kids thought of me.