Choosing glasses to "hide" aspie awkwardness

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swbluto
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13 Nov 2011, 8:56 pm

I heard one person recommend sunglasses to hide the dreaded "Aspie Stare" that many people find discomforting. This sounds like a good idea, but I'm looking for a solution that could be applied in business situations, such as when meeting with customers, employees, business partners, managers, etc.. I get the impression that "real sunglasses" wouldn't be considered "acceptable" by most people when you're making a serious deal, but something like prescription glasses probably would. And, I get the impression that certain kinds of glasses is associated with certain stereotypes that you could use to your advantage, especially stereotypes that mesh better with stereotypical aspie behavior. I.e., possibly geeky glasses would make people expect a possibly socially awkward and a less-suave person, so there'd be less clash with people's expectations if an aspie wore "geeky glasses" or something.

So, what are the recommendations?

An ideal lens color? Possibly dark, medium or clear?

An ideal frame-style? Geek chic, large sunglasses lens style, laid-back style or prescription style?



dogslife
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13 Nov 2011, 9:13 pm

I recommend these:

Image

Those are the type of glasses I have and they definitely play into the geeky (yet still hipster-y) stereotype you mentioned. While obviously they're not quite as helpful as sunglasses, it still makes a big difference to have for work/meetings for A) a barricade between my eyes and other peoples' when eye contact is necessary, and B) something on my face to detract from the blunt expression.



MountainLaurel
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13 Nov 2011, 9:50 pm

Quote:
I get the impression that "real sunglasses" wouldn't be considered "acceptable" by most people when you're making a serious deal, but something like prescription glasses probably would.


I agree with your impression. People tend to be suspicious when sunglasses are worn indoors in the workplace. They often assume that they're worn because of a hangover, or to disguise eye weirdness due to recreational/self medication drug use, or worst of all, to hide lying eyes.

I think that any prescription-looking frames with clear lenses would mitigate the onlookers perception of "the aspie stare" because strong lenses gives the wearer "the stare" look and an assumption is likely to be made that it's due to the lenses.

Additionally, glasses almost universally (perversely), give the impression of intelligence



LeninzTomb
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13 Nov 2011, 10:28 pm

I wear glasses (no prescription) sometimes, and I feel that I am treated differently when I wear them. People seem less shocked when they find out I am such a nerd. I just have them filled in with clear plastic (no colored/shaded lenses). I wear thin framed, black glasses. Those who know I do not need them even say that I look better in them. Who knows? Maybe it will be the same for you.

I hope this helps.



Mummy_of_Peanut
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14 Nov 2011, 6:08 am

My husband always gets photo-reactive lenses (I should too). These can go completely clear, if you are in a fairly dark place and quite dark, when you are outside in bright sunlight. He has a prescription as he's short-sighted, but the photo-reactive tint is optional.


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deconstruction
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14 Nov 2011, 7:57 am

I'm nearsighted and I wear glasses. (For 20 years now). I used to wear contacts for a while. Actually, people treated me better when I wore contacts because I was seen as more attractive (I' m a girl and I was teased for wearing glasses). But this was all happening when I was a teen. So I don't know. My glasses are clear so you can still see my eyes.

As for people giving you a pass for being a nerd, I don't know. I am educated (I'm a PhD student) so it kind of goes with it; everybody's a nerd in these circles.



TheBrain
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14 Nov 2011, 10:12 am

You know, I never considered this. I wear contacts because I don't like not being able to see all around with out turning my head, but this is a very strong argument. I may have to reconsider. oh wait, I just remembered, I'm dyspraxic. I wouldn't be able to wear my sunglasses when I went out side and I almost got run over again the other day because it was too bright. My work is too hands on to keep them in my pocket. Never mind.


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14 Nov 2011, 11:57 am

I'm near sighted and have worn glasses since I first started kindergarten.
I've found that wearing them, especially ones with thicker frames, don't mask social awkwardness but provide me with a protective barrier. When I'm not wearing my glasses, it's like everyone is looking at me. I like to be able to feel them on my face and know that my eyes aren't completely exposed. My glasses are bright red which also gets me lots of compliments instead of strange stares. However for business situations I wouldn't advise them either.


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deconstruction
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14 Nov 2011, 12:09 pm

This is weird, because I always felt people were more accepting of me when I don't wear my glasses. Maybe it's because of the whole "girls should be pretty" thing?

But I also think people take me more seriously (in academic sense) when I wear my glasses. The whole "nerds wear glasses" thing.