Does this ever worry you?

Post Reply New Topic

When NT's give some sorta subtle "back off" signals, not so friendly signals. But they phrase it so subtlety to show their pissed. Its like an aspie wouldn't even know they were pissed off and would ignore these subtle signals. I don't know what I miss and it scares me that I missed that. It really worrys me sometimes, I don't know what I miss and what I don't.

Edit: NTs are pissed off so they show it very subtlety but we as aspies miss it and don't realize the NT is very pissed off because of something we did. We pissed them off completely on accident.

Edit #2
1) Aspie says something that pisses of NT, completely by accident
2) NT responds with an extremely subtle statement showing there pissed off, so subtle the aspie can't catch it
3) Aspie doesn't realize they pissed the NT off, responds inappropriately to the situation
4) NT thinks aspie is crazy, frickin annoying and ___________(insert negative description)

I HATE SUBTLE NTS, DOES IT KILL YOU TO SAY WHAT YOU MEAN????

Nope. I'm usually far more concerned with trying not to appear like I'm pissed.

Huh? specific examples?

I'm not sure if I understand the question. Are you asking if we miss that we were pissing them off because they actually show it or that we would miss that they are telling us to back off?

Well actually it's more likely I'm the one who is usually pissed
1) Aspie says something fancy in its language because its just about right - NT is too dumb to care to think for a bit.
2) NT responds with an odd face expression or better yet a single question mark-*dont talk to me like that*
3) Aspie doesn't realize they pissed the NT off, responds inappropriately to the situation
4) NT thinks aspie is crazy, frickin annoying and ___________(insert negative description)

Nah. I get what your saying. It happens too damn much. People want you to go away but all they say is something like "that's cool" after every pause in your tangent. They remain disinterested yet attempt to appear interested. It is backwards, and a waste of everyone's time, yet they act like it's just you wasting their time.

and

It's not like "Go away I'm busy right now" would hurt my feelings. I might question you, but then all you say is "I don't wanna talk right now."

Plain and simple.... Everyone needs aspergers... Lets start a war. Kill all the NTs and have mad babies!

I don't mean that. Well maybe not the part about war

NT VS Aspie war... Hmmmmm what a good idea for a book set 100 or so years in the future... Maybe it could be set it in a world where Apies genes are more prevalent in the general population and a cure for AS is discovered and it becomes mandatory to be taken, so the Aspies rebel against society...

That "subtle" thing they do made me quite paranoid, to be honest. I've been in many situations where I'm friendly with someone and I think they're friendly with me and then I hear from someone else that they don't like me or even can't stand me.
Now I'm always worried that people don't like me or that I'm bothering them too much and they are just too "subtle" in showing it. It's not making socialization any easier.

I would tell you that I've always picked up on things like this, however it would not explain the various times I've been kicked in the shins when I was a child, seemingly out of the blue.

As an adult I believe I'm a lot more receptive.

^Made me chuckle.

"The man who speaks softly, and gets hit with a big stick..."

Only time I know I have pissed someone off is if they are rude to me or are mean or tell me to shut up. They have to treat me bad for me to know I pissed them off. They also have to yell at me too for me to know.

When I was in a relationship, my gf would get mad about something, we'd fight briefly and then I thought that was the end of it and moved on. She wouldn't say anything, yet I was supposed to know she was still upset. Sometimes she would just say "say your sorry" a couple of hours latter. I would ask why, and it would be about the little argument we had a couple hours ago that I moved on from after maybe 10 minutes. Then I felt like a jerk for not knowing she was mad and needed to have me say "I'm sorry" in order to move on. She'd apologize too and we'd move on, but it just made me feel clueless about her NT emotional state.

This happens all the time. And it makes me so anxious when it happens.

The problem is, unless they're so freaking annoyed to the point of screaming, they won't make it obvious enough. So once you don't get their subtle cue, you continue to annoy them and then they're even more annoyed that you don't stop with whatever you were doing that annoys them. Their anger grows until they do reach the point of screaming at you and you finally realize there's something going on for quite some time. Then you feel like crap and you ask what's going on.

Then they think you're crazy for not seeing something so obvious (I mean, all normal people would be annoyed by it right from the start, right?)

And it often ends up being something stupid, like not greeting them properly, or talking about your special interest for three minutes even though they're bored and you didn't realize. (And I do think three minutes and not three hours). You'd think anybody can take three minutes of conversation about the stuff they're not interested in; I know I can. But no. If you're not talking about socially acceptable subjects, even ten seconds is more than they can take.

This might explain some of the overly harsh, nasty replies I have gotten from simple things over the years. I blame the NT person for not communicating well.