How should an NT greet an Aspergian?

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Hi there!
I'm an NT who works very closely with a female Aspie, and am trying to learn as much as I can about Aspergians, so I can get along with her better.
One thing that had me stumped this morning was how to greet her everyday. How do people with Asperger's like to be greeted? I'm always happy to see her, and I want to convey as much to her, but after reading about how uncomfortable most NT-style greetings seem to be to most Aspies, I'm not sure how to go about it.

So, to those with Asperger's...is there a way you prefer to be greeted/approached that will make you feel both welcome and comfortable?

I don't know. No one has really found a greeting that works with me.

Instead of just saying 'hello' if she doesn't usually respond to that try saying 'hello Fred' (or whatever her name is).

This makes it more obvious that you are addressing her.

If you are trying to start a friendly exchange ask her direct questions and do not be offended by a long pause or if she doesn't reciprocate by asking how you are or what you did over the weekend etc.

What I'd recommend to avoid is asking "How are you?".

Always and forever a simple, "good morning, how are you?" is good enough from there. just your normality of politeness.
Though as a female aspie, i despise when people run up to me all hyped and bounce and say hey etc.
but as an aussie usually i get greeted by my mates n i greet mine with the good old fashion "g'day mate, hows it goin?" (u read that in a crocodile dundee accent didnt you)?
=P

Thanks.
I did learn over years, even before finding out about her AS, that "How are you?" is not a good icebreaker with her, so I've avoided it (especially considering that I don't like asking "How are you?" anyways; I prefer more specific, customized greetings, like "How was your camping trip?" "How was your game?" etc.)

So, the general consensus here is a good, old-fashioned, "Hello/Good Morning Frederica"? (not her real name)

I seem to recall from the movie Schitzopolis, "Generic greetings! Insincere inquiry as to your emotional state." This may be construed as humorous by the aspie. Or not.

When people asked me "what's going on?" I always would say something along the lines of "I just walked into a room and you asked me a question." I have broken myself of that habit, for the most part.

Allow her to answer with literal answers.

Like if you ask her how her day was and she said it wasn't good and started to explain why, don't look bored or confused that she didn't just say 'great' or 'fine.'

Another thing is once I get into a conversation the subject seems to change too quickly especially if it's something I'm interested in. We like to talk about our interests and less about the weather, or other people. Well, I really struggle to listen to the latter.

We're all different though, have different levels of social skills. If someone asked me how I was I'd say 'great' followed by something I'd done previously that day, or usually something I'm excited about. When I'm nervous I just say whatever is on my mind. People seem to like it over silence.

Wait, are you or are you not supposed to say more than just "fine" when asked "how are you"?

NTs don't really want details for that question, usually. Especially when used as a greeting. In my opinion it shouldn't be a greeting at all. Hell, as a child I had people ask me that question then walk away when I wasn't even done telling them just how I felt.

Unless I am mistaken, you are supposed to say "fine. how are you?" in a flat and indifferent voice.

Actually, the word "fine" in this context can be made to convey nearly any motion by altering the "tone of voice." A high pitched, quick "fine!" means you are happy. A low and drawn out "fine" with a sigh means "not so good. ask me about it sometime today." A low pitched, mumbled "fine" means "i feel like crap. don't ask why" No response at all means "awful. leave me alone" or "i hate you so why pretend to be nice" or any number of other things. (am I right? anyone?)

As much as I enjoy idle banter, I do sill prefer to answer the "how are you?" question with an honest answer, and I appreciate the same in return. But then, I am not "fine," I am "weird."

Disneylynn: talk to her and find out for yourself. This is how aspies want to be treated. Directly, as people, not as research subjects.

+1.

Yup, if you're worried you're not communicating well, just ask her, to make sure you are both on the same page.

I'm not very comfortable with greetings and returning them. A small nod or a simple "hi" is fine I guess. On the mmorpg I play I never use anything but "hi". I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to respond when people say "sup" and get annoyed by "whassup".

Someone please explain "what's up?" to me.

It means "What are you doing?" "What are you up to?" "How's it hanging?""What's happening?"
I think it's another form of greeting.

I took it literal up until the age of 14. People would always ask me whats up and I would always look up and wouldn't see anything special so I would say "Nothing." Then when these kids told me in school what it actually meant, I told my mother about it and she said "No wonder you always looked up."