Do people stare at you? (Prolonged)

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Have you tried staring back at them? I don't mean a staring contest, but often once you look at them they'll look away. I probably stare at people too much and I think many people avoid making eye contacts with me because they're nervous. I just find people interesting to look at, it's one of my special interests to observe people.

What I mean to tell you is it's normal to feel self-conscious when you know others are observing you, even NTs feel that way. They probably don't hate you or like you or think weird thoughts about you. Most likely the looks are perfectly benign. If you don't like it just stare back and they'll stop.

I've been hypersensitive to stares since I was almost 19 (over 2 years ago). Before that, I never thought twice about it. It never entered my head. When I walked to school and people were coming towards me, I probably subconsciously looked at them and then never thought twice about it. But now, when people come by, I get into a hell of a state inside, and I think people sense it, and so they stare, and the more I know this, the more self-conscious I get over it, until it becomes a mixture of obsession and phobia, taking over my mind and my life before I realise it, then it's too late because I let myself get caught up in too much irrational thinking.

What set all this off was the cold winter of 2009, when we suddenly got a lot of snow and ice. I kept slipping on an icy patch what I couldn't avoid, and I had people over the road laughing at me each time my foot slipped and my body reacting quickly. After then it made me think that people are watching me and noticing every little move I do, and it's gotten worse ever since. Now I'm in a hell of a state, and I have contacted the support services several times to see if I can get counselling, and I've been in and out the doctors to try and get me referred to counselling, but getting those kinds of services is impossible in this country because the bastards (the government) keep cutting back all our health services and so people like me are getting pushed out.

It's a never-ending circle.

In my last term I had someone staring at me very often, so I stared back.
I didn't do it because I thought he'll stop, rather I sensed his stare and wanted to check if my senses got it right.
Anyway, I stared back but it didn't help at all, this person didn't turn their stare away from me. This doesn't mean he was constantly staring at me, he was probably staring for a minute, no matter if I stared back or not.
I didn't like it especially since I didn't know what it meant and so I tried to not be stared at which was bad for my work performance in class(wrong focus of attention). This being the most unfortunate aspect of all.

If people want to tell you something they should do it with words. At least I need words since non-verbal communication isn't very clear-cut for me.
In the case of "stares",...say, someone looks at you with an angry face, you would recognize this person connects something negative with you but you don't know what it is. If someone stares at you with a smile, you would recognize that their intentions are of good nature but you wouldn't know why exactly their view of you was positive.
Worst of all, if someone stares at you with a neutral facial expression, this either means nothing and is coincidence or it does mean something and you would have to look at the whole situation and context which can probably only hint at a negative or positive interpretation but not much more.
Intensity,time and place can also be indicative of something but must not be.

I wouldn't say these are the only possibilites for interpretation of meaning behind stares but they are the ones that I can think of.

Maybe try taking some acting classes would help? Really if you can get used to hundreds of people looking at you under bright lights, you won't mind a bit of staring. I was in school choirs from age 9 to 16. It was a small choir with about 10 kids. We did singing and a bit dancing on stage. It's one of the best things that helped with my anxiety and made me less self conscious. If you're too nervous you can start with some short skits and do it in front of your family.

*Mayel, my DH stared at me for a whole month before I noticed anything. That guy might be interested but shy, and was hoping you'd be the one to start a conversation first.

I didn't have acting classes per se. But I did take some classes throughout my life where I had to perform in front of people (dancing, singing, playing instruments) ; tens or several hundreds, regularly. I always got and still get stage-fright , no matter the size of the crowd. So I never got used to a lot of people staring at me (though with bright lights in your face you don't really see them). When I'm doing whatever on stage it isn't so bad but getting there is.

And that other comment......I don't know. I may have to find out if it's like that some time...but that's some strange way to start a conversation (perpetually staring at someone).

What helps me is wearing sunglasses. I also try my best not to pay attention to strangers. If I ignore them I am not aware of their activities including their prying eyes.

Sunglasses give me an aloof quality. People ignore me more when I wear them

It does not help being paranoid. Someone on WP reminded me that it doesn't matter what strangers think. What matters most of all is remaining calm and graceful.

Thank you all for your responses, they were helpful and exceeded my expectations.

Staring used to really bug me a lot. That was before I developed Tourette syndrome. Then staring bugged me even more! Over the years though, I have learnt that, yes people are going to stare because I am shouting out and making erratic movements. I tolerate staring only to a certain point though so even I have been known to snap. Some people stare at me for such a long time that I politely ask, 'I charge £10 to be watched' which usually scares them off. If I don't say that my Tourettes usually intervenes with a 'WHAT YA LOOKIN AT' and a stream of cuss words It's well embarrassing.

Today I got stared at by a woman as though she had never seen another human being before.
I was getting on the bus with my mate (we were the last ones on, but we got a seat), and I felt I was being stared at by the woman opposite, so I couldn't help but get distracted and look up at her, and she was staring right at me, and me only. She gave a little smile, but I bet she did because she knew looked up at her nervously and so thought she'd better give me a quick smile (why bloody stare in the first place?! !) I tried to not look like I cared, so I carried on chatting to my mate, and I suddenly felt her staring at me again, so I glanced at her and saw that she was actually looking at what clothes I had on. I was glad to get off the bus because I felt very disturbed.

Because I have Social Phobia, I fail to take staring as a compliment, since I have severely low self-esteem I just assume everyone's staring at me because I look stupid or something (even though I don't act dress geeky or act differently). Paranoid thoughts won't stop going on in my head, and it just makes me feel really agitated, and it is quite normal for people to start to feel paranoid when they feel everyone is staring at them. I actually find it quite creepy.

And no, looking nervous is not a reason to stare at someone. Looking a little nervous is not different or weird, and if anything I would have thought people would look away because I thought people were socially smart enough to know that staring at somebody makes them feel all the more nervous. The type of people I stare at are really hunky looking men, because they are worth staring at! I don't waste my time staring at nervous-looking women.

Yes... They've always stared at me, probably because of autistic characteristics and unusual eye movements, etc. So as an adult, I give them something to really stare at! I'm a bodybuilder with large veins popping out on my arms and chest, and have 1-inch (25mm) diameter ear plugs, and large steel nipple piercings. With all that, I doubt they notice the autistic stuff .

Charles

Same here, I normally wear jeans and T-shirts, short buzz cut hair and whatnot, but I still seem to get stares all the time...

Actually, it is. Looking like you are afraid makes others instinctively wonder "Is there something here to be afraid of?" Seeing you act that way causes others to become alert because there may be danger nearby, or because you yourself may be dangerous, and so they keep an eye on the situation as a matter of self-protection.

I got stared at a lot yesterday.....I guess when going into grocery stores in the stuck up part of town its better not to wear camoflauge pants with a wallet chain, a metal t-shirt with a troll skull on it with a grey sweater that has skulls and storm clouds on it.

People rarely stare at me, however it is annoying when you're daydreaming about something (Which is common for me) and you're not looking at them at all, I mean, there not even in my line of vision and they make some snide remark like "f you looking at?" I hate that.

The few times people do stare at me, It doesn't bother me to be honest.

I don't think I look dangerous - people treat me like I'm stupid and unreactable all the time. When I'm sitting at the front on a crowded bus, instead of getting asked, ''would you mind standing up for a little bit to let this old ladie sit down please?'' I get made to stand up. People say, ''can you let us sit down?'' and so, feeling embarrassed, I have to get up quick, whilst I catch other youngsters being asked to stand up politely - or not at all even. I've been told that older people now are slightly afraid to speak to youths these days, but nobody's ever been afraid of me before. They practically take the mick.

No - maybe you were right when you said about getting stares because they think there might be something to be afraid of. But I can't seem to get rid of this nervous look, no matter how hard I try. Anyway, my auntie (who actually has some ASD traits) looks nervous all the time, but she gets a hello from everybody who passes, whether she knows them or not. Nobody never, ever, ever, ever says hello to me unless I actually know them. Even if I make eye contact they just glare back at me.

The other day I was walking through an alley, and a group of about 8 or 9 men were standing at the end all smoking a cigarette and having a bit of a natter. They looked like council men of some sort (all had florescent jackets on), but as I approached they all looked round at me at the same time, and I felt quite embarrassed. They were pleasent - they stepped aside to let me through, and maybe they liked me, but it's still rather embarrassing for anybody to walk through a group of people with them all staring at you. I think that's typical for anyone though.

The only time I'll let people off is when I'm on stage or something. That's different. But otherwise, in the street, (unless one or two men look at me and smile), I really don't agree with staring. I hate it. It's too distracting.

I agree with other posters that you may have one or more features that may stand out and it may not be a bad thing.

When I was young, people had a tenancy to stare at me too. Some people (especially other girls) were outwardly hostile. I thought it was my fault. I thought it was my character. I tried to change myself to accommodate people and get them to like me. As I got older, people stopped staring. Now, when I take pictures of myself when I was young, people have an instant reaction. I was very thin and appeared to have unusually large eyes for such a small face. I still have large eyes, but my face has grown around them to make them look more normal and thanks to the popular plastic surgery procedure of eye enlargement, people no longer find my eyes unusual. Recently, I reconnected to an old classmate who was hostile toward me 30 years ago. Her first comment at seeing a recent picture of me was that of resentment that I was still pretty after so many years.

So, stares can also mean people find you attractive or have features others may envy.