First time in history!! !! The NT/AS open hotline ! !! !! !

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It has. I would like to thank everyone for understanding my lack of understanding of the concept of friends.

It's a good list but I think 9 and 10 only apply to NTs. Unusual people could make friends very quickly and in many styles of what they talk about.

The list does apply primarily to real friends, apparently. In the FaceBook, it seems like people who have never met each other can still become, "Friends."

A question for NTs
Why do you just assume everyone has good social skills? Why do you never help people with poor social skills and offer to be their friends?
Why do some of you stare at us and bully us and make us hate our selves? We could make really good friends. We are loyal,sensitive and caring.

A question for NTs
Why do you just assume everyone has good social skills? Why do you never help people with poor social skills and offer to be their friends?
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I would say thats just because its extra effort and people are lazy.

There is no excuse for that behaviour, people that do that are unpleasant at best.

A question for Aspies - do you think it's harder as an Aspie to try and be friends with someone you're attracted to, assuming they're unavailable?
I'm asking based on a personal experience I'm trying to understand better. I wonder if as an NT, sometimes it's easier to just block out or "box" things you don't want to be an issue within a particular relationship?

I started out with twirling my hair, but my parents found this to be intolerable. Discouraged from hair twirling, I started pulling out my eyelashes. This was particularly painful and damaging, and luckily was short lived. After that, I became an obsessive lip biter/skin picker.

Hand holding or other intervention just seems to make it worse, and brings attention to a behavior I find embarrassing. Often, my lips were very red or even bleeding and I felt so guilty because it hurt and made me look bad.

I've since out grown the vast majority of this behavior. What changed for me is finding a less injuring way to stim. So instead of picking my lips, I gently rub them with a moist wash cloth and apply lip ointment. Now days, my lips are quite nice!

As an Aspie, my immediate response is, "stop having arguments". I don't see any reason why a discussion has to get to the point where your fiance has a melt down. It will benefit you both to work on your communication and anger management skills.

That said, if a melt down becomes imminent, then for goodness sakes leave him alone. Melt downs are about reducing and controlling stimulus, not adding more. I think every Aspie has there own way of self comforting, and so if you are going to make a suggestion then I would stay go with the blanket one. At least that doesn't sound self injuring.

That is definitely true. My ex couldn't understand that by just raising his voice and swearing, I would melt down and get what appeared to be hysterical. I just couldn't take the volume of his voice, and the way he kept going and going on about whatever.

I am a NT.

I could answer this but I think I am simply going to choose to ask a question back to you, Artrat. Can we be friends?

I have a question for anyone who can offer advice. My son was just diagnosed with AS and I'm wondering how to tell some family members and also how to tell him. He will be nine this month and he already has an idea that he is different from other kids in ways. Specifically I think his grandmother should know as he spends a lot of time with her and they are very close. I know she will be supportive but I don't want to drop a ton of bricks on her lap! Any advice or tips would be appreciated.

I have an idea for both of those problems, lovemywes. Discuss the symptoms with him focusing on the more positive and then tell him that it has a name and that it is on the autism spectrum. (His favorite desert might make it even better.) I don't know how it will go because it was more as you figuratively said "dropped like a ton of bricks". I am just telling you how I would have liked it. With his grandmother, I would think a similar approach more or less.

I've recently been thnking about this. I miss a friend of mine, but I decided not to arrange to see him and catch up. I can't deal with being around him.

I don't know if this has to do with black and white thinking. He is in the category of guys i'm attracted to, he's not "just a friend" in my eyes. I can't get past that.

I don't know if thi is just an aspie thing though. I think an nt girl would avoid a guy she wa attracted to so that she could move on with her life and to help jer get over him.

My qn: I asked a NT for advice regarding my friendlessness. She seemed annoyed when she said, "I think you should go discuss this with your friends, not with me." I'm very puzzled. Since I have no friends, what makes her think that I'm able to find friends to confide in? Dear NTs, did she have any hidden meaning when she said that? Thanks.

My qn: I don't know why some NTs are so easily offended on Formspring. I can share 2 examples here.

Example 1: Someone asked "Harry Potter or LOTR?" on a NT's Formspring. The NT seemed to be annoyed, cos she answered something like "How can you ask such a silly question? Harry Potter is meant for kids, so it can't be compared to LOTR."

Example 2: NT A posted on her Formspring that when she visited College ABC, most of its profs and students were nice, but a prof there who interviewed her for law sch was a cold and arrogant woman who put other law schs down. Days later, NT B, who claimed that she is a student of College ABC, asked NT A for an apology. NT B was like "I'm offended by what you wrote. My profs at College ABC are all very nice people. Your post will leave people with a bad impression of College ABC." NT A had to apologize to please NT B.

Till now, I don't know why these NTs get so offended. Any theory? Thanks!

A question for NTs:

I am apparently an attractive woman according to my NT and non-NT friends. That being said, men that I do not know are often interested in dating me. More than a few times, men have asked to be my "friend" and then after I agree to have coffee with them, etc., they try to kiss me.

Why do they do this? Why don't they simply explain that they are interested in me physically instead of pretenting like they want to be "just friends"?

I can't answer you Formspring questions, I don't even know what Formspring is.

I do want to have a go at answering your question about your "no friends" conversation.
Her reaction is certainly strange. I assume that it wasn't a gigantic misunderstanding? That she thought you'd been talking about something else entirely?

The next possibility is that she isn't very clever and just couldn't figure out you were asking her advice precisely because you don't have that many people to ask advice from.

There is an outside chance she felt under pressure to be friends with you because you had chosen to confide in her about your lack of friends. And then said what she said to extract herself from this perceived pressure, and the situation, clumsily.

Without knowing more about the detail of what was said, also the girl's/woman's age it's difficult to assess but above are my best guesses based on the information given.