New Video: Obsessiveness and ASDs.

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I thought everyone here would appreciate this video: the young lady in it is someone that I am a dear friend and mentor to. This is a topic that most people on here can probably relate to, but it is one that isn't well understood by the rest of the world. She decided to make a video about it to spread awareness, as she is in a tough situation involving this subject. I am so proud of her.

If you're on youtube, she'd really appreciate if you left her a comment. Thanks for watching!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLOJQmsRpag&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

She's cute. I relate a lot to this. It's more been about obsessing about rockstars and being a bit 'star struck.' I've tried to tine it down now so when I realise I may be doing it I stop myself from going further. I'm not as bad as people staling bands at airports but I do try to befriend them.

I had someone obsessed with me in year 7 and I'm still not sure if she had AS. She is married with kids now and I never really noticed any symptoms. She may have possibly had ADHD. It confused me that she wanted to be like me. I'm a screwup. That's kind of the way I see myself sometimes.

When I left one singer alone for two years we actually became a bit closer. I give him his space and every 8 or so months we may have a chat. I can still seem kind of leechy when his band comes to my city though.

I tend to get stuck on certain people even if they aren't musicians. Sometimes it an actor which is harmless but sometimes it's people I see everyday. I just have to watch myself when that happens.

I too obsess over people but i do not take an abnormal amount of action on that interest.
I would say i become rather passive because my obsession hampers my ability to communicate with that person. So i just wait until that obsession gets replaced by an obsession of someone else.
They tend to switch between multiple people all the time sometimes lasting days sometimes weeks or even a year. Shows like the walking dead or anime series can really be a time drain because i have to watch all of them, litterally 8 hours on a day can be spent like that. Once i burn out on that or watched all episodes i can get back to doing my normal things.

I enjoy watching video's like this.

Last edited by TB on 11 Dec 2011, 9:19 am, edited 1 time in total.

Long--winded drivel. She could have said the whole thing within about 30 seconds.

Obsessions have always been my strongest autistic trait.

shame on you

I get obsessed with people too. Not so much with friends, but people who I see around a lot, ie, shop-workers, bus-drivers, etc. But they end up getting to know me and if I'm lucky I end up getting to talk to them, which is what I like because I can then find out more about them, and the friendships with them would probably work out better than friendships with people I'm not obsessed with, simply because I'd be asking them questions and really being interested, and also I wouldn't be going on about them to them because....well, obviously not - you can't talk about the person you're talking to about the person you're talking to, if that makes sense!

But I have learnt to tone down my obsessions with people and not make it look too freaky and not make myself to be a pest. This was because I had learnt from a huge mistake I made back when I was aged 13-16. I had a massive crush on this one man who lived next door to my aunt, and got obsessed with all the people who knew him (including his wife), and soon they realised who I was and got sick of me because I was such a big pest. I would hang about outside their house, get all my cousins that were younger than me to be obsessed with them too (and they did because usually little kids don't understand the seriousness behind these sorts of things), and I used to follow them about and once even (somehow) got their phone number and rang them and brought them to my doorstep! (I was not planning on having a visit from them, plus my parents were angry and so were they). I felt really embarrassed, especially when all the kids at school found out too (because some of them knew them), and I ruined friendships because of being so obsessed with these people - my friends could not take me talking non-stop about them any longer.....

Thankfully I grew out of this obsession when I was 17, and straight after that I got an obsession with another person who I never knew before, and it's still the obsession I have today. Nobody who I know knows them personally, I don't talk non-stop about them to friends, I don't do silly things like call them, I don't hang about near where they might be, I don't make myself look like a pest, and I most certainly don't freak them out by showing strong signs that I fancy/obsessed with them. One or two I've shown that I fancy, but I done it the right way because they like it and are very friendly to me and I've even got a Christmas card from one of them, and I usually have a friendly chat with them when I see them, and that's as far as it goes (unless one of them asks me out, which is different). But toning down obsession doesn't mean you can't ever show any true feelings for anyone. It's more about learning how to have self-control and not be a pest, just acting like you just have an ordinary crush and just be friendly, and they will be friendly back.

I can relate to what she's talking about.

I've had plenty of cases where I get too obsessed over people. I'll find someone that I really like, study them, want to be like them, find out everything I can about them etc. When that happens, I run the risk of pushing them away and coming across as creepy. Starting in high school, I tried toning down my feelings and being more distant, feigning disinterest in a hope that it would help me socially. It was only ever marginally successful. I probably came across as aloof and creepy instead. What's clear to me now, though, is that I've had a lot of trouble finding that good "balance" between obsession and indifference. It's an all or nothing thing, honestly.

Out of curiosity, did any of you find more difficulties after puberty set it? I found that's when my problems amplified. Suddenly being obsessed over someone turned into borderline stalking or a declaration of love. If you were obsessed over someone the same gender, you were obviously gay. If you were obsessed over someone of the opposite gender, then you were obviously in love with them. Either scenario led to frustration and misunderstandings. I felt that I was in a no-win situation for awhile.

Generally stuff has calmed down more. I'm not so worried about what others think anymore. Balance is still a struggle for me, though.

Crushes and obsessiveness about crushes are perfectly normal and this is definitely not unique to autism. Once again, the autism league takes a perfectly normal trait and claims it as their own to make them feel ever more special, as if a label wasn't special enough.

Ditto. PTS, if you actually have AS you should know better. Being wordy and long-winded is a common trait. If you haven't got anything but negativity to offer, why bother? It would've taken you 0 seconds to post nothing.

It takes some guts to do what she did, and I applaude her for putting it out there.

Personally, I don't have as much of a problem with what she's talking about, but I sure did when closer to her age, and would never have had the guts to talk about it as openly as she does. Good for her!

Obsessive interests are a central part of autism and a part of the diagnostic criteria. Having a crush is normal. Being completely obsessed with someone to the exclusion of other activities is not.

I never had any obsessions with anyone or anything until I hit puberty at about age 11. I am NOT gay, but when I was 11 or 12, I got obsessions over certain females and really admired them, and I wonder if I was just bi-curious. 11 is still a vulnerable age with love, and I think part of me was interested in boys but part of me just got strange obsessions with older women. I used to look at a handsome boy or man and get a tingling feeling in my tummy and have thoughts of cuddling and kissing him, but I used to look at a certain woman, admire her, and have thoughts of resurecting myself into her body so that I can be that person. But maybe that came from self-hatred and shame, because every woman I have ever admired have always been confident, attractive, and popular. But the trouble is, I was called ''lesbo'' by other kids and my brother, but I just let them say that because by age 13 I became less bi-curious and knew which sex I was naturally attracted to, and definately knew I had true feelings for certain men.

But now my hormones have obviously settled down, and I only find myself very attracted to men, and quite dreamy of penises (I often dream of seeing the penis of a man I fancy). Sometimes I admire women, but my mum says that's normal, and that it's not the same thing. I know a woman who has such a good personality, but I admire her because I wish I was like her. It's no good me trying to be men who I'm obsessed with, because then I would be acting manly, which I don't particularly want, so I need to choose a woman to try to be like. This usually helps me socially.

This. Completely.

I have people obsessions...so I would know the difference. This is what drew me and the girl in the video together and has made us close. There is a HUGE difference between liking someone and having them take over your mind.

It is an immense desire to just know the person. They will take over your brain and you'll just do anything to have contact with them. And sometimes, you'll break that urge and do it. This is what concerns both of us, and why she decided to make this video.

The difference between me and the girl in the video is that she will make tons of contact with her obsessions in ways that other people may interpret as "stalking" whereas I limit my contact with my persons of interest, and will often avoid them altogether.

+1

I am so proud of her. She is open and honest about AS unlike anyone I've ever met. I think she'd be a great addition to the boards here as well (although I sent her a link about WP, she never responded to it).

PTSmorrow, that was a little uncalled for. She is not the best at expressing herself verbally...this is common in the AS population. It's the message that counts.

You guys obviously don't know the first thing about NTs (Or, in Syrella's case, the difference in obsessiveness with crushes between NTs and Aspies.). Female NTs are notorious for regularly getting crushes on their favorite boy band vocalist and focusing on them to the exclusion of almost every other activity, or including them in every other activity like conversation (hehe), and the same applies to the heart-throbs at school. Just because Aspies also tend to suck at socialization so they have nothing better to do doesn't make their "obsessiveness with crushes" any more qualitatively unique.

She was struggling to get her point across.


It's not just about having a crush though. I should try and look for some of my notes about the things I said about the singer when he didn't reply to me for just one day. It was horrible and obsessive and stalkerish.
Sometimes our special interests can be people and like our other special interests we tend to become absorbed into it, only think that it matters and can't stop thinking and talking about it.
People tend to get really creeped out when you obsess over people. Glad I'm kind of detched from people now though I still tend to get obsessed, especially with rock stars.

Autistic obsessiveness is usually about having an abnormal amount of focus and fascination in something that isn't really socially acceptable. It goes way past social accepted. Obsessing over a favourite actor or musician because they're cute is one thing. I tend to obsess over people without being sexually attracted to them, usually that comes later.