The autism social rule book.

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the how are you one cracks me up cause I have never understood that one,when someone says how are you or how have you been you are supose to just say fine and go on,but when I ask someone how they are I really wan know good or bad ,but yea the casier t cvs asked me how Id been and I gave her a long line of health problems,lol luckliy Im a regurler and shes really nice so if it bothered her she dint show it lol

Yeah, that one is so dumb. The CEO at the company I work for wants people to say "Terrific!" when asked how they are. Always. Why ask how someone is, then? He could just say:

CEO: "Ook Ook?"
EMPLOYEE: "Ook!"

It is literally that meaningless. I think it's all about reassurance - maybe regarding hierarchy within the troop.

That came out kind of bitter. I sort of called NTs monkeys.

Which is not nice.
Sometimes, though. It's like dealing with chimps. I swear to god.

Make a Facebook. Before I made one and people asked whether I had one, they would say "oh..." and act like I'm a complete nobody. So I made one, and TBH I'm addicted.

Don't ask people if they are rich- apparently it's rude...

don't ask to your friend who's now the boyfriend of your other friend about the girl he made out once a long time ago. apparently the girlfriend (who's, i repeat, your friend from a long time) feels it's rude. apperently, all of your friends think is rude and YOU should adapt to the new situation of both your close friends becoming an item.

Don't send out emails right away, especially if it is an emotional matter. Wait a little while and review what you have written with an ear for how it might come across to the reader. I usually opt to soften the tone.

Yup. I love facebook!

I used to do a lot of nervous laughter, and I think a number of "NTs" probably do too. Laughter is a reaction to something unexpected, like a sudden fall. Why do clowns slip on bananas?

When someone tells you a friend/family member/pet has either died or been very ill, the expected response is "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." It doesn't matter if you really don't care, or even if you think the guy was a creep. That's just the expected response. Or so I learned.

At work today someone said "I wish the clock wasn't broken" as she looked at the place on the wall where it used to be. It was later when I realised she wanted me to look at my watch and tell her what the time was.

Turns out attitude is everything! I never realized how much my attitude affected my actions until I was recently working at a new job that is a growing business and have nearly lost it (but I saved it). Not at all Aspie friendly but I learned something important. I always believed for a long time (from bullying and lack of support) that I didn't matter; therefore, my actions and attitude never mattered because no one cared and i was oversensitive. But I always wanted to know what made a good, bad, or great person. I now realized from the mistakes I've made, and talking to my boss, that people will come back to the business because of how we made the customer feel. That's when it hit me that the way I make people feel has the longest lasting impression. How I react makes people feel a certain way just like how others react to me makes me feel a certain way about them and determine if they're good, bad, etc. So I learned to treat others kindly, kill the jerks with kindness and be firm about what I need, and not to fall apart when the rest of life is because that just makes me get labeled "crazy." Long hard lesson but finally learned it.

imho this is the most valuable Aspie thread ever on wrongplanet, or anywhere else.

however it's now too long for almost anyone to read through to extract the rules.

Could someone able pull out all the rules, eliminate duplicates, and group them into subcategories? and wrongplanet post it up?

Here's one social rule that seems almost kind of cruelly ironic, which I don't totally agree with but have learned the hard way:

When you "come out of the Aspie closet" and tell someone that you have Aspergers (and I mean someone who you've known for several months or years), the person doesn't know what Aspergers is and so you explain it, then you get the seemingly flippant response "Oh, well...we all have our challenges to deal with in life." - DO NOT debate them or give them the "how dare you" response that they are trivializing your condition - they didn't know what it was to begin with - it's not like a revelation about past sexual abuse or that your brother was killed by a drunk driver, in which case their flippant response would be unacceptable.

I challenged somebody on this response once, and he basically told me, in a patronizing sort of way, that my indignant response would only lead people to think I'm even more strange, and that I'm inviting a "pity party". His response was basically for me to "take the hint" and not debate a subject further that he did not feel comfortable bringing out in the open. Hence the irony, that we are tempted to set people right on the seriousness of Aspergers.

Yer but I've seen a lot on these forums that Aspies should learn to not think everyone can read their minds. But hasn't this woman here done the same thing? I mean, how would one know if she was just saying ''oh I wish the clock wasn't broken'' just for something to say or if she really was trying to hint for the time? If that was me, I would say, ''I wish the clock wasn't broken. What is the time?''

If you're in a gathering of people, try to assess their backgrounds (from what they've told you) BEFORE you comment on some aspect or segment of society or how it's been in the news lately, e.g. you make a cynical comment about the leaders of the military and a guy in the gathering happens to be in the military, that wouldn't look good. Of course, if you didn't know that was his background, I would say you can probably be forgiven for it. However, this might be a double standard, b/c if the people in the gathering made negative comments about autism/Aspergers, I would get upset. At least on the inside.