Narcissists

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Have any of you ever gotten abused by a narcissist?
How did you get rid of him/her?
Do you think that people with autism/aspergers are more at risk for being used y people like this?
Personally, I had to stand one girl like this for two years and it didn't do any good to my self esteem. She manipulated me quite a lot but also kind of taught me social norms in an extremely brutal and often hypocritical way (except when there were others looking).
I haven't seen her after changing schools, and she stopped calling me ages ago so it's all good now.

Define narcissist

I take myself to be pretty narcisistic and I would expect there to be a significant correlation between AS and narcisism. I think everyone could be said to be narcisistic, though, for we are all highly interested in ourselves. This is using my own layman's definition of narcisism rather than any technical or official meaning.

A person who lacks empathy and has a huge ego, and a constant need to show off. They often also have sadistic tendencies and tend to be bullies of some sort. However, they're also extremely good at faking to be nice when around a lot of people, and can even be very charismatic when they so desire.

Edit: @ Saturn: I am talking about the medical condition, also know as Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It's closer to psychopathy and quite far from Autism, as people with it are often very skillful in social situations, perhaps even more so than NTs.

Yeah this guy at college manipulated people all the time, he did it in secondary and primary school. But he was crap at it. He was more like a stereotypical gossiping girl than anything else. He was found out and no one really trusts him anymore. He thinks highly of himself but he once had to pay someone to be his friend. He treated people badly but still emotionally depended on them for his own happiness. He was pathetic.

These days he still comes along and talks to me sometimes, but he's quite irritating even today. Other than being quite an annoyance, he seems fairly nice from the outside but I don't trust him at all, nor does anyone else really.

Getting people to trust you only to make them tell you their secrets so you can tell them to other people is amateur. He fell for the trap of just wanting to show off, as is the case in narcissism. If he was a good manipulator he would have used the trust against people instead of just showing off about gaining it.

So, yes, I know a narcissist, and today I laugh at his manipulative efforts.

That is exactly what a narcissist is. They absolutely LOVE themselves. They are extremely nasty to people but will be very careful who sees this manipulative/violent behaviour. Narcissists are very good at making 'friends' who they then manipulate using emotional abuse. Narcissistic personality disorder is only diagnosed if five criteria are met. Otherwise the person would be described as having narcissistic tendencies. Quite a lot of people (especially those in power) have narcissistic tendencies.

Below is a link to a website of a narcissist who is 'self aware'

http://samvak.tripod.com/

Personally I believe there can be a correlation between AS(ASD) and Narcissism. My father, for example, shows signs of narcissism while also has strong AS traits. Knowing myself, I know I'm a bit obsessed with myself and can come across as narcissistic to others. However, I always try to keep it at bay.

I had a girlfriend for one year who was always unsatisfied with almost anything I did or what my family did, but she also regarded any people with whom she had any kind of connection as her prey. She and her family (what left of it) always had to be far superior in any respect in her mind. I know that she had fragile self-esteem at the very same time. This was the way she protected it, unconsciously. She didn't have the knowledge, the perspective, and a clear basis to recognize her mistaken ways.

She had definite signs of having both ASD and NPD, and who knows what else. She could be very kind with others if she wanted, but she definitely had poor social skills in general. * sigh *

When I took an online test for personality disorders my lowest score was for Narcissistic. I got 10% and the average score was 41%.

Thank you for the clarification. Interesting.

I married a narcissist. I was with him for a total of 14 years. It took me 2 years to get rid of the addiction to being controlled. The hypocracy and delusions of grandeur were obvious to everyone but me. The way they take conrol is so insidious, you have no idea what is happening. They do it under the guise of making your life easier. Eventually they convince you that you are incapable of doing anything without them. Their "punishment" is to take that "control" away from you thinking that you have no control over your own life. Fortunately I have never been a "helpless" woman. I knew he was taking control and conscious or un-consciously, I allowed him to while keeping in mind that I was totally capable. So when I began my two year withdrawal, he was totally unaware of what to do to get his control back. Little did he know that my life had been filled with hard struggles and this was easy for me. I actually feel better in control of my life. I'm still not quite sure why I let him, unless of course it was for the sex ([i]gee I miss that part but oh well, it's a trade off, I missed me too)

Ojani, yes he tried to destroy my self-esteem and did such a good job of it, it has been a steady exercise every day to rebuild it. One of the ways I do it is by trying new things every chance I get. ESPECIALLY if I know funamentally if it is scary but know it is fundamentally safe. IE, flight lessons and riding a motorcycle.

I have become a little narcissistic myself, but I think it is because of a stage I am going through to get my power back. I am trying to balance it by volunteering for Autism. I suppose being an aspie will help me to understand better.

I once knew a narcissist. He was commonly known as a control freak.

Interesting, it seems like narcissists like to exert control over people in a rather obvious fashion (to everyone but the person being controlled, at least).

Its pretty tragic when a member of the family is a total Narcissist. Take my dad for example.

On one personality disorders test I scored "High" for Narcissistic. Note, I didn't score "Very high".

It has occurred to me that I could do something to help the autistic community, especially here where I live. I don't know how, though. It's me who's in need of help, after all... But, if I could help someone who's similar to me and my narcissistic ex, but only in good ways, maybe we could be mates...

It's a horrible condition and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'm not sure that researchers know what causes it (if anyone knows please tell), but I think quite a lot of narcissists had 'troubled' upbringings. The major difference between a person with autism/AS and a narcissist is that people with autism/AS struggle to decipher body language/facial expression/tone of voice into it's emotional meaning (therefore we are written off as lacking empathy), whereas narcissists are amazing at reading these. A narcissist can pick out your bad points very quickly and use them against you. I also think quite a lot of narcissists try to mimic AS in order to hide their manipulation. I don't know this for fact, it's just something I read somewhere.

Dated a guy I believe to be a narcissist, but he had Aspergers so I'm not sure about the narcissism. He did have narcissistic tendencies. He also had a narcissist harem, which is why I stopped dating him. I didn't want to be someone's option or a fall back girl.