If you could live life without Asperger syndrome, would you?

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Nexus
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26 Dec 2011, 1:07 am

conundrum wrote:
SyphonFilter wrote:
For example, I'll be in the grocery store, and there'll be employees handing out food samples. As I take a sample, I say to the employee, "thank you very much for the sample". Immediately afterward, I'll hear laughing from shoppers standing behind me. I feel so embarassed, thinking I've just mase an ass of myself but not knowing how.


:?: I honestly don't see what's "wrong" with what you said. Do people have a problem with formal politeness? :roll:


Well sometimes if you over-empathize politeness on something trivial like that, it will look awkward. A simple "thanks" usually suffices.


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26 Dec 2011, 11:46 am

conundrum wrote:
SyphonFilter wrote:
For example, I'll be in the grocery store, and there'll be employees handing out food samples. As I take a sample, I say to the employee, "thank you very much for the sample". Immediately afterward, I'll hear laughing from shoppers standing behind me. I feel so embarassed, thinking I've just mase an ass of myself but not knowing how.


:?: I honestly don't see what's "wrong" with what you said. Do people have a problem with formal politeness? :roll:
Apparently yes, they do. People seem to have problems with any kind of politeness whatsoever. The few times that I've simply said, "thanks", there have been short laughs as well. So I don't bother with food samples anymore.



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26 Dec 2011, 1:37 pm

I'm not sure why "for the sample" is necessary, really.
But I sure as anything wouldn't laugh at someone for saying it- I'd think them very polite and admire them.


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26 Dec 2011, 5:16 pm

If I could get rid of the emotional meltdowns and feeling depressed I would. It gets hard to function a lot. Nothing like sitting at your desk with tears running down your face while trying not to act like anything is wrong.


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conundrum
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26 Dec 2011, 10:32 pm

SyphonFilter wrote:
People seem to have problems with any kind of politeness whatsoever.


Which is a big part of what's wrong with society, IMO. :x


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26 Dec 2011, 11:07 pm

No-I would not be me, I might lose my imaginary world, and I would certainly lose my benifits.



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26 Dec 2011, 11:33 pm

Yes, without a doubt, having AS completely sucks. It has no advantages for me, the only thing that can be seen as remotely as a advantage is the special interests....

1)It gets my mind off of the hardships of life. Yes, NT have hardships as well, but damn I seem to be really hammered with hardships, its bad enough I'm heavily impaired by AS on top of that, I have to deal with ANOTHER medical condition. However I admit, If I had to choose between the two, I'd rather have AS, the lesser of the two evils without a doubt.

2)Depending on what your Special interest is, you can make your hobby/special interest into a career, if I was a NT I probably wouldn't have thought of that.

But other than that, I can't think of a advantage of having AS. :(



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27 Dec 2011, 1:54 am

I do NOT have any of the strengths or special skills that Aspies are stereotyped to have; I'm worse than a typical NT in most of those areas so I do NOT feel like AS gives me any real advantages. I mostly have differences that make it harder for me to deal with life because the majority does not have that. I do wish I could live my life without AS but I would rather live in an environment that is more appropriate for autistics than living in an NT world. I belong in an NT world like a dog belongs living amongst a family of cats. I am NOT for this world


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27 Dec 2011, 4:36 am

Ooo I love this game! Yes, I would be a non-aspie celebrity athlete / crimefighter who can fly and shoot laser beams out of his eyes.



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27 Dec 2011, 4:52 am

I think it reasonable to say that the world reacting to my Asperger's has caused just as much if not more pain than the Asperger's itself. And since I stand an equal chance of changing the world as getting rid of my Asperger's, I'd rather change the world first.


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27 Dec 2011, 11:48 am

SyphonFilter wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
If I were NT and had this same family and everything, then there would be nobody with AS in my family, and if I had all the same people at school then I wouldn't have mixed with anyone with AS, so I probably wouldn't know what it is. It makes me panic because life could have been like that.

But no - I had to act like a dick on my first day of school, upset the teacher, worry my parents, be sent to doctors and psychiatrists to find out what the f**k was wrong with me, had to be singled out from class more to have one-to-one learning to catch up with my reading and maths, had a lack of friends at school, was misunderstood, kids were embarrassed to be seen hanging about with me, couldn't be included no matter how I tried, and there is always going to be something ''off'' about me even though the traits I show are so minor to nothing but it still seems like it makes a huge difference and I get people constantly laughing at me all the time and it confuses me because I do act normal and look normal and there are plenty of people about who look 10 times weirder than me so I don't quite understand, it just kills me on the inside and one day I'm going to commit suicide because I cannot stand people laughing at me any longer...........

Can't be bothered with all this sh** - I WANNA f***ing BE NORMAL!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !
You pretty much summed up my childhood as well (a lot of it, at least). I hate when people stare at me in public, and I don't know what they're thinking. When I notice the stares of others, my first thought is, "did I do something socially inappropriate? I don't look ret*d, is my facial expression off-putting?". As time goes on, I notice more people staring, so I start getting frustrated because I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. And I know I'm doing something wrong, otherwise people wouldn't stare at me like I'm a goddamn alien. About people laughing at you... it happens to me, too. For example, I'll be in the grocery store, and there'll be employees handing out food samples. As I take a sample, I say to the employee, "thank you very much for the sample". Immediately afterward, I'll hear laughing from shoppers standing behind me. I feel so embarassed, thinking I've just mase an ass of myself but not knowing how. When it comes to being social, life f**king blows. Because I want people to accept me, but they don't. I've attempted suicide, but that's not the answer. Nor has social awkwardness been a temporary problem...


It is like you two are describing my life.

I was out to dinner with friends a few nights ago and the server approached our table toward the end of our meal and asked me if I would like more decaffeinated coffee. I replied "No, thank you. That will not be necessary."

Before the server even walked away from our table, every single person sitting with me started laughing very loudly. I had no idea what was going on until one of my friends managed to stop laughing long enough to explain that my "overly formal" speaking manner was funny to everyone. I still don't quite understand what the hell was so funny about that! Sigh. :roll:



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27 Dec 2011, 1:01 pm

Ghostar, I find the "overly formal" politeness rather charming. If they do not, then who cares? Be yourself.

Ack!! I'd like to see a magical get your head out of where the sun don't shine for everyone. Seriously.


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27 Dec 2011, 5:10 pm

I would just love to live a life where I'm treated just like anyone else. I would just love to live a life where the same social rules apply to me equally as much as they do for other NTs (see my thread I made a couple of weeks ago)
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp4262605 ... t=#4262605

I would also love to give off a sociable vibe, and I would love to have that social charm what draws people's friendships to me (not saying all NTs have this, but I would like to be an NT who does have this).
When my mum went on holiday with her sister, she said that a man (who was another tourist on their coach) kept following them around (she said he wasn't after them or anything, he was just being friendly and didn't want to wonder around on his own). He kept disappearing for a few hours then appeared next to them again. The way my mum said that made me automatically think ''he sounds a bit weird then'', simply because I was always called ''weird'' when I followed people around, but my mum said he wasn't weird, just a bit annoying when he kept reappearing next to them, but otherwise he was really nice, and usually my mum and her sister are quick to judge weird people, but they didn't judge this man. And I think I know what was going on here. He probably gave off a sociable vibe, and was probably socially confident and just had that ''normal'' expression about him what made him automatically be socially accepted and allowed to follow people about. But I know damn well that if I had gone on a holiday on my own and followed the same people around for company and tried to make friends, I would freak them out and would be called ''weird'' and ''creepy'', simply because I give off a shy, unconfident, unsociable expression, and would just stand there blankly, chewing my fingers and not knowing where to begin with a new friendship with strangers, and people would just sense my approach and would just run off. I would also be called something like ''a harmless nutter who keeps following us''.

So I would like to live a life where I could naturally give off a sociable vibe so that I could make new friends at work or on holiday without freaking people out. I can't help the impression I give off, no matter how hard I try, and I don't think I ever will. And it just really disturbs me thinking that this is the only life I will ever get and I am lumbered with being isolated because of giving off the wrong impressions all the time everywhere I go, and how judgemental people are just by looking at someone rather than actually getting to know them and giving them a chance. It then makes me hate myself because there is nothing I can do about the vibes I give off, and so I just got to continue being like this, walking the Earth frightening everyone off. It's absolutely horrible, and it makes me feel like I'm victimized by this cruel condition I have to put up with.

I would love to be able to speak up in a group and everybody goes quiet to listen politely, rather than saying something and everybody's talking over me or interrupting as though they're automatically expecting me not to talk. Then when I don't talk I get people saying, ''you're quiet!''


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27 Dec 2011, 5:27 pm

Asperger's comes with plusses and minusses. If I didn't have Asperger's, would I have the logical analytical mathematical mind that has both defined who I am and allowed me to pursue my particular career choice?

OK, so I'm not NT so I'm in the minority and that can be hard. However in order to be distinctive, you need in some sense to be different from the majority.

Since I got my diagnosis recently, I have found acceptance and inclusion in a number of ways and this has helped. I also have legal protection and some support.

So, no I wouldn't want to live without my Aspergers, although perhaps I might take a day off and visit NT world if the technology to do so existed.

Mostly though I would not want to live without a diagnosis. Also I think this is possibly the best time ever to live with Aspergers.

What I would really really like, though, is stupidity cancelling headphones.



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27 Dec 2011, 5:27 pm

Being neurotypical isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know. I'm neurotypical myself but even I have problems.

Being neurotypical doesn't mean you be some awesome person with tons of friends loving you and you be happy for the rest of your life without any worries at all and your life will be just perfectly secure. We aren't some kind of superhumans with powerful brains what make us able to say some magic word and out pops a friend for life for us. We got to work for it too, and although it may come more natural for neurotypicals, we still use our brains a bit. There are some people even I don't know what to say to, and others I can relate to better.

The thing is, knowing that this world is built by NTs and for NTs, it makes it seem like its easier to be NT in this world, but we still all have our woes and our problems. Heck, we even fall out with our friends and make stupid decisions with relationships sometimes!



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27 Dec 2011, 5:56 pm

Yes. Without hesitation.