Problems with sitting beside people...?

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I don't like it when strangers sit right beside me. When I'm sitting on a bench, people always sit right up close to me like I'm just a stuffed dummy sitting there or something. And I can't stand strangers sitting next to me in the cinema.

I don't mind people who I know. I just panic because my stomach might start rumbling, and it seems to embarrass me when other people hear it and have to comment. Sometimes my stomach makes odd noises, and people have often asked me if I've got an upset stomach - but my digestion is normally pretty healthy so I don't see why it rumbles that badly.

OK, off topic here, but that is still a reason why I don't like people sitting close to me (the only reason).

For me, it applies to even walking or standing. When walking and conversing, my personal space extends around 20cm around me. When walking without conversing, it becomes about 60cm. When sitting, I generally avoid the person and often find myself stimming after a short time. Regarding choosing seats, I tend to pick corners or edges (especially distant ones) unless all of the seats have been surrounded. In a case like that, I generally shutdown for a while (about a few subjective seconds in most cases) until someone invites me to sit down. There's some indistinct fear of sitting down next to someone else without invitation, but it may be nothing more than my theory of mind with its assumptions about most people encountering the same feelings and thought processes.

When I think about it, I get the same feeling sitting directly next to someone as I get standing directly next to someone at a urinal or pee trough. Although, the feeling at the pee trough is more intense.

For me it is like a meter. I can only take a limited amount of people in my bubble before I start getting panicky and agitated.

I can relate to all of you and am quite relieved that I'm not alone in this. I too feel very uncomfortable if someone stands too close and intrudes uninvited into the invisible "bubble" around me. Like some of you, I'm OK with acquaintances or family that I perceive as friendly but become very agitated if it's just some random person especially one that seems to be hostile or inconsiderate.

It's quite a relief to know that this difficulty seems to be part of aspergers rather than some mean or nasty personal trait on my part. I never ceased to be amazed by how unperturbed other people seem when a stranger sits too close or invades their space and wish that I could be so unbothered by it. I guess it's just one aspect of sensory overload and being especially susceptible to sounds, touch, smells, etc.

I was reading an article written by someone with aspergers and he mentioned it is useful to cultivate a "screening" process when entering a new situation. Some people are able to screen out the things which annoy them in any given situation and focus on the purpose they are there for in the first place while others will look for things which annoy them and then become fixated upon the annoyance rather than their main goal.

I'd be interested to know what some of your coping mechanisms are in these situations. I tend to retreat into my shell or become very defensive if I am in a public place and someone stands or sits too close. If I make a conscious effort to calm down and tell myself that people are not being intentionally rude or malicious I am sometimes able to overcome any anxiety or distress. Other times, I'll try to move if I can to an empty space or use a bag or put up my arm as a barrier, hoping the other person will get the hint. The latter method does not usually go down too well - so much for neurotypicals being good at picking up upon body language and social signals . . . . I find short periods of unwanted close encounters such as a two stop bus ride or a short wait on line easier than for instance an eight hour plane ride or a two and a half hour movie and it's also easier when I'm with a friend or family member or if I'm focusing on something else.

And they say we have no concept of personal space..

in school i always sat at the end of the row of desks, or if the row was empty and i knew nobody was going to sit there i would sit in the middle. i never like being in the middle of two people.

one of my teachers made a sitting chart and he put me in the people of the row, between two people and i told him that i wanted to move because i didnt like closed spaces. so i ended up sitting in a empty row.

I used to, though I mostly forgot about it until now. I would stand on the bus if there were no completely unoccupied seats (they're paired, know what I mean). And I still tend to sit away from people if possible. It's too much extra stuff to think about.

This thread puts me back in touch with why I fell in love with WP in the FIRST place!

Most of these posts look as though I wrote them because they are EXACTLY what I would say!

People at work make fun of me and my BUBBULAR attitude as I not only DO NOT like people sitting next to me, I hate them standing up on me when they are talking to me! GODforbid that anyone should actually TOUCH me ...