Are You Able to Hide Your Aspergers?

Post Reply New Topic

Most people, once they spend more than an hour or two with me, start to notice that I'm kind of odd. I've learned to fake the social niceties so I don't think most of them realize quite how much is wrong until they start spending more extended periods of time with me.

The cashier at the grocery store probably thinks I'm a little off, but nice enough. My coworkers think I'm pretty damn weird. And my family and close friends (not that I have any anymore) think I'm a complete mental case.

Quite frankly, I don't give a damn.

People just know me for being really quiet; I doubt they make the connection because most don't go searching for some kind of non-NT condition.

I can hide from people quite well.

Same here!

the more I try to hide who I am the more worn out I get. I don't have a wide social circle but the people I will do things with like me for who I really am. This has helped me not care about what people in other situations think about me.

Yes because they don't even know I have it.

Yes, I can hide it when necessary (mostly)...co-workers know that I'm "different" from them, but they don't think I have Asperger's/autism...when I get home though, it's such a huge relief that I bounce and flap and stim and be me with my partner

I had a massive, pounding headache after my job interview...all of the eye contact and socializing and thinking about ways to be "witty" that wouldn't fall flat when I was shadowing

I'm looser about pretending when I'm just out and about like at the food co-op or on the bus.. I'll stim by cracking my right knuckles/wrist/shoulder and neck, but avoid the flapping and bouncing ----->

Yes with clowning and hyper intelligence. I can't do it when I was a little kid but now I can.

I can basically fake it now. I only found out I had AS about a year and a half ago. I think I've been faking being NT for a long time without knowing what I was doing. I think most people who know me well may think I'm a bit "wierd" or "different" but are either too polite to say it or put me into their own categories such as "workaholic," "tyoe A," "clumsy/careless," "shy," "nervous," "intense," "repressed" etc. I do well in any sitations where there's a script such as a job interview, work meeting or family visit as long as it's for a limited time. I don't have too many close friends but those I do have (none of who know about the AS), I am fine with when it comes to socializing one on one. I also have a lot of superficial acquaintances at work etc. who I can succssfuly fake socializing with. It helps me if I am dressed the part and I try and think about what I'll talk about before hand and how to act so as to avoid any AS traits coming out. There are several people, particularly guys I am attracted to who I would never want to see the real "me" even though I know that in a true relationship you should be loved for who you are. I admire all of you who don't give a s**t and are able to just be yourselves all of the time. I don't think I could do it myself. I'm not yet that comfortable in my own skin. It is exhausting pretending all the time though.

I sort of naturally hide it. Maybe I'm different at home to what I am out, but most people are. So not much about me changes when I'm out and about with people, except that I feel more anxious and I don't have outbursts (I suddenly turn into this kind, calm person).

no one i know in a casual way would know what asperger syndrome is, and i do not ever explain how i am the way i am, and they do not think i have asperger syndrome or even autism because they are not acquainted with it.

my friends (2) and doctors know i have asperger syndrome, and they treat me with deference because of it, but the casual acquaintances i have just think i am extremely eccentric.

i will define "casual acquaintance".
the forklift driver at the depot i interact with when i have to do runs (rarely (who is quite smart and "switched on")), and the girls in the office at wetherill park when i have to go there (for onsite programming reasons), and my bosses at wetherill park, and tammy's parents and a few people at the tavern where i sometimes have my dinner that know me etc.


those people see me as inexplicable, but not inferior.
they like to talk with me and they say i am unlike anyone they have ever met or could even imagine, but i know they would not like to be like me because they can not account for why i think the way i do.

they do not feel any similarity to me, but they are nonetheless interested in what i say. they view me from a distance, and it is like they think that being in a conversation with me is like a "nice place to visit, but they would not want to live there"

i tire people out after about 20 minutes, and i see that they must get back to their lives after that amount of time, and i never can find a way to finish up what i am saying with an "epilogue" (as it were).

mostly i lose interest in them before "time's up", but on occasions, i feel comfortable to continue talking, and it is then i see that they seem not to be able to think in the way they need to think in order to be interested in what i say for more than 20 minutes.

i am not sure what impression of me they go away with, but i know they do not think i am stupid or dull. i think that they think that i think on a level which is irrelevant to the crux of their lives.

i am concerned with things that are not deeply important, and while what i say is an interesting diversion for others to talk with me about, it has no real life value to them so they must move on after about 10-20 minutes.

i have no true grounding to my personality, and i never talk about children or luck or politics or community or my opinions (i have no opinions about anything much) or anything that is important on the level that their lives occupy.

i will usually talk about things i find curious, and those things may be completely unrelated to the progress of others lives, so they get tired of spending energy in being away from their usual mental pursuits.

when they say things to me that are not what i am interested in, i usually say a few stunted words about what they are talking about, and i rapidly get back to my state of mind.

an example was someone was saying that they did not know what to get their child for christmas, and i just said "a christmas present", and i gave scant attention to what they were saying because it did not interest me. they said they did not know what their kid wanted.

i said "just give them $500 or whatever you would otherwise spend, and let them buy what they want", and then i got back to what i was talking about, but they went back to what they were saying and said something about my idea being not in the spirit of "giving".

i do not understand how giving someone $500 is not in the spirit of giving, so for me, that avenue of discussion was closed.

i continued to talk for about 3 minutes after that, but we went our separate ways (mutual external obligations), and i knew they would not beat down the doors to get back to me in the future.

who knows. i am severely unable to reciprocate with people, but my side of the conversation is always valid and interesting. other people can tolerate that for a limited amount of time, but soon they disengage when they realize that they are not able to reciprocate with me.

i am like a talking machine and other peoples input is not effective much in moderating the course of my discussion.

No-one has ever made the connection that I'm an aspie but some people think I'm just strange at times

Because I'm a musician and an artist, people just see me as quirky & eccentric, but I do tend to hide my extreme quirkiness in order to get by in the NT world. I agree that unless you present extreme symptoms, most people just see Aspies as quirky, or annoying.

Women seem to see more odd ways about me than men do.

I notice in some discussions on this board, you "reciprocate" and the equivalent poster board text conversation is two way. In other words there is a two way interest, and this bounces back and forth in a discussion. You sometimes query first, and it develops.

Having said that b9, are you saying that the quality of this two way stuff is unemotional and it is just a thing- in- and- of- itself ( like a scientific dissection), and is not connected to anything meaningful by others ( no drama), thus dies out IRL?

Last edited by Mdyar on 08 Jan 2012, 9:29 am, edited 1 time in total.