Toughen up.

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Agreed. The thing that really sucks about that struggle though; if you've had to fight intensely for it you may also at the same time do damage to your ability to show love and let people in and that in and of itself takes its own journey later on to rework. The first task it something that still often has to be done but I suppose its wise for people to stay aware of that and catch themselves if they feel like they're starting to manually prune neural connections in certain areas that they may not necessarily want to.

Oh, WOW. That strikes a chord.

A few good old friends have turned up to save me...

Its rather trying for me, and I feel heartless if I told them I really cant be bothered behaving like I used to around them, and not being able to express honestly causes me stress

Sometimes its best to chase away kindness from your door...............

esp if they mention jehovah

I think NT's would be pretty thin skinned if you dressed them down about their stupid stuff

Sounds kind of like me. I don't just get angry, I will go to battle for other people. I can be very bullish about it. I would rather make myself the target of their attack rather than watch someone I care about get hurt. Then I get overwhelmed and hurt myself, but I internalize it. I don't speak up for myself when I feel wronged.

I've been told sometimes to toughen up, don't be so sensitive, etc. But more often people are surprised to find out how sensitive I really am. They assume I'm ok with things, that I'm not. Then maybe one day, I finally react, I burst into tears or snap at them and they don't understand.

I have been told "oh, grow up" and variations of "toughen up" my entire life. When I was a kid, I cried all the time for various reasons. My mom referred to me as "Eeyore" because I was so sad, most of the time. I got picked on quite a bit in school, including in the elementary years, and I would burst into tears, which only egged them on. I also cried out of anxiety, which I had about everything. I used to call my mother every day at lunch to make sure she wasn't mad at me. I remember a meltdown I had when I was 13 because my mom accused me of something I hadn't done and hung up the phone on me. Choking sobs accompanied by wailing for a good half hour. At thirteen.
I eventually grew out of the crying, but not because being told to "toughen up" helped the situation any.

Yeah

Seriously. I'm trying to rebuild this, myself (I've been working on it for years). Nicely said, techstepgenr8tion.

Most days I feel as though it's been permanently burnt out, unrecoverable, or that I've sublimated anything I have into (only) caring for my children. And no one (IRL) understands.

Last edited by mv on 10 Jan 2012, 10:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

I'm tough. But I consider crying a good way of working things out, which could create assumptions from others. I'm also very verbal about it if something bothers me.

Huh people always tell me to soften up. I'm too harsh and I lack tact they say. They tell me all the time "Can't you show SOME empathy??" and stuff along those lines. I am also told to stop being a drama queen, might be along the same lines. I don't see myself as dramatic, but I do get overwhelmed a lot and freak out reacting at the first thing that bothers me lol So I guess that could be perceived as being dramatic lol

It is weird because on some subjects I am super sensitive and on other I am not The closer the subject the less sensitive I am.