Do Aspies and sociopaths complement one another?

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ASTROBOY
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22 Jan 2012, 10:32 am

As I look back on my life I'm truly amazed at how many sociopaths I've been friends with. OK, so 5% of the population is supposedly sociopathic but far more than 5% of the people I have known well fit the profile. In fact at no time in the last 30 years did I not have a close aquaintance, employee or friend that fit Hare's profile to a "T". It was only when I read his and Ronson's books that it hit me. Sometimes it was two.

Here is my theory: As an aspie I'm not particularly interested in people or social gatherings. But sociopaths are so over the top, so charismatic, so fascinating that they can overide that threshold of interest. Additionally, their need to find people to "use" makes them willing to become involved with a relatively colorless individual such as myself. At the same time, they are a bit puzzled by the reaction they get from someone like me. It won't be the same as they expect. For instance, when they finally abandon me, the final act of a sociopath according to Hare, it doesn't crush me. Rather I see it as the end of a movie or novel. Every story has a beginning and an end, right? Instead of hating them I see it as "well that was fun! If you are ever in the neighborhood let's do it again" sort of thing. Also, more than once I've disconnected from them BEFORE they reached the abandonment stage and that truly seem to surprise them. It would occur when they started stealing from me or a customer or when they became a really obvious leech. Maybe I'm a bit of a challenge to them.

Sociopaths may see us as very easy and rewarding marks and we don't get bitchy when it's over. Maybe opposites really do attract. And I consider the money and time I have spent on these people to usually be worth what I got. I also like the idea that once they are gone they are really GONE! What do the rest of you think?



jamieevren1210
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22 Jan 2012, 10:43 am

Huh, I'm sort of both. I think in terms of social I'm not AS, but sociopath, like Holmes. But everything else I fit the AS HFA criteria.

Edit: oh, I never use people.
Edit2: forget it, im not a sociopath, not really.


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Last edited by jamieevren1210 on 22 Jan 2012, 10:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

Moog
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22 Jan 2012, 10:51 am

I figure that they are used to dealing with NT type people patterns, and obviously non NT persons are rather unusual in their relational patterns. I could see it being surprising when button presses that work on most people don't work on a particular individual.


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22 Jan 2012, 10:57 am

I am always sad when friendships end. Sometimes I am not when we grew apart. If the friend was always mean to you, it's rather a relief when they move away and you never see them again or when they decide they don't like you so they stop coming over. I remember telling my old best friend I was so glad she didn't like me because it meant she wouldn't come over or call me or talk to me and she told me I was stupid. :lol: She never bothered me again.


But it was always great when a person all of a sudden be nice to me when they had always been mean to me. Then it be sad when that would end and they be back to their normal selves. I ever understood this. I know with one of my neighbors it was because he had no one to play with at my house so he played with me and was being friendly with me instead. With one of my old friends, she be nice to me off and on and I still haven't figured it out why and probably never will. Some people just have split personalities like they will be nice to you and then mean and then nice to you. You never know what will set them off to make them be mean to you and I just avoid those people now.



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22 Jan 2012, 11:22 am

Yes, I kind of get this. I can think of one woman, I'm not sure if she's a sociopath but she definitely uses people in a manipulative way and when I was hanging out with her she was always going on about what a wonderful person I was and I was so beautiful and smart but I didn't realize it and I was her best friend etc. etc. I knew she was full of it and she was just using me for rides but I have a hard time establishing barriers. I secretly wished she would just go away. Now she doesn't need me any more (she's moved on to the next crop) and I never hear from her. Heh. :)


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fraac
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22 Jan 2012, 11:33 am

My best friends have always been psychopaths. They feel empty and safe, with no neuroses I have to dance around, plus they're fun. We always fall out over a girl even when I don't want the girl but because I'm not in thrall to them they see me as a rival, which is a shame.