why do aspies appear stupid to NTs ?

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Sparhawke
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22 Jan 2012, 9:30 am

NerdbyDefault wrote:

We think differently to Nt's meaning things sink in differently. Due to thinking logically i have often had people make jokes to me that demand i quick simple response instead i normally ponder about thinking "what, thats not right, what you said doesn't make sense". I'd say its probably because we think too much meaning we do things the hard way all the time when alot of the time the simplest way is the best. Also people may depict us as idiots simply because they are ignorant themselves, this is possibly the most fraustrating because of typical NT thinking " look he/she thinks they know more than me but dont listen to him/her is diferent so therefore wrong and what comes out there mouth is just jibber jabber". Also people think were dumb simply because they havent given us a chance to be smart, the problem is the facf that once someone has had a first impression of you its very difficult for you to change it so when they are first greeted by a shy, passive socially awkward individual there imedietly going to wright you off as an idiot. Or maybe some people are just imature jerks lol.

Had a hard time following that, by the third line of the post I had lost interest of even trying to understand what you were trying to say...

Anyway, going back to the topic at hand I think what was said about social cues is absolutely right, I have watched body language for years and now am at a point of when I am watching television I can see all the tiny micro-expressions and I understand what they mean in real time, however it is astounding to me how little I knew before all this, and if I am in a social setting forget it. Social situations go by so fast sometimes that even so called "normals" have a hard time keeping up, what chance do we have?

I know a guy and he is very fast with his mouth, he ad-libs jokes constantly, pity he doesn't really have all that much intelligence in the first place...

What is that quote about God giving us two eyes, two ears and one mouth?

Some people should really figure out what that actually means, talking is often much less important than observing.

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dianthus
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22 Jan 2012, 12:37 pm

I don't think anyone has ever thought I am "stupid". People may sometimes underestimate my intelligence if they don't know me, but once they spend a little time around me they figure it out.

I have more of a problem with people assuming I should be able to do everything with ease, because I'm obviously intelligent. "If you're so smart, you don't need any help!" And I also find that some people are threatened by my level of intelligence, and I have to watch my back around them.

DanRaccoon
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22 Jan 2012, 1:17 pm

I sometimes think that Aspies tend to look a bit slow to NT people but NT people tend to look very illogical to Aspies.

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NerdbyDefault
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22 Jan 2012, 5:17 pm

Sparhawke wrote:

NerdbyDefault wrote:

Hmm glad to see my input is appreciated.

CrazyCatLord
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22 Jan 2012, 5:58 pm

Rest assured that it is appreciated I didn't have any problems reading your post.

I agree with your point about first impressions, btw. NTs make up their mind about a person within a few seconds, and from then on everything you say and do is seen through a cloudy lens of confirmation bias.

wokndead
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22 Jan 2012, 7:53 pm

In high school, I was once asked by a classmate if I was "slow." I guess that's how NT's just see us. Usually I'm just "quiet and shy," but I guess the nerd was just dumb. :lol: I didn't talk much (two ears, one mouth technique), so I guess that made me an idiot to some. Ah, well. I'm the one fixing computers for over 35 libraries in my region now. :wink:

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Verdandi
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22 Jan 2012, 9:44 pm

gyaspie wrote:

why do aspies appear stupid to NTs ? is it due to their ability to interact well?

I have no idea.

Today I was leaving one niece's apartment (spent the day there because power was out here) and started to walk to the other side of the carport because I didn't want to walk on the slush and snow on the sidewalk. Before I even clear the carport, my younger niece assumes I am going the wrong way. She also tried to accuse me of faking my reaction to smelling cigarette smoke.

Mdyar
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22 Jan 2012, 11:40 pm

Verdandi wrote:

gyaspie wrote:

why do aspies appear stupid to NTs ? is it due to their ability to interact well?

If some people had even a modicum of empathy, they would refrain from these comments. I guess they dont realize the possible damage, but I'd bet dollars to doughnuts they would crow if they experienced even a mote of unfair assessment.

Why the inability to feel the other shoe?

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22 Jan 2012, 11:46 pm

Mdyar wrote:

I know!

Cigarette smoke affects me in a similar fashion to yelling in my ear. Currently I'm mildly congested because of all the candles I was burning to read at night, and so I didn't smell one cigarette that was already lit, but the other cigarette (my niece's) was blowing smoke directly into my face. So she decided I was faking because I didn't react to the first one. Not so much. It was just not intense enough to affect me.

wokndead
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23 Jan 2012, 2:14 am

Ugh. The smell of cigarette smoke makes me want to stop breathing, and I need to get away from it. Like my lungs literally stop inhaling and I start swallowing uncontrollably. No good!

Mummy_of_Peanut
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23 Jan 2012, 6:00 am

NerdbyDefault wrote:

I agree with this. I often take a while to respond to some things. When I get it I really get it. But sometimes it takes a while to process what the other person has said, to process my own thoughts and translate them into something that the other person will understand. I'm intelligent, but I must appear slow on the uptake at times (which is true as well).

We're having a bit of fun with our daughter just now - not making fun of her, but it's amusing watching her thinking. She's just 6 and completely analyses a joke and asks questions, before she's willing to agree it's funny and fit for being laughed at. We now go to a regular kids' comedy club, which she loves, to help her to work on it.

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Verdandi
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23 Jan 2012, 6:08 am

wokndead wrote:

Ugh. The smell of cigarette smoke makes me want to stop breathing, and I need to get away from it. Like my lungs literally stop inhaling and I start swallowing uncontrollably. No good!

This is what it's like for me. I also tend to skyrocket toward meltdown if I can't get away from it.

hanyo
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23 Jan 2012, 6:13 am

I once had someone think I was illiterate and when I mentioned reading some book they said "what do you do, look at the pictures?" I can only assume they thought this because I had blonde hair, dressed sexy, and was quiet and shy. I always loved to read.

I've had people think I was mentally handicapped or mute just because I'm quiet.

I've had people do that really offensive whoosh gesture over their head because they thought I didn't understand something. I did understand. I just thought it was stupid or had nothing to say about it.

Cigarette smoke doesn't usually bother me too much which is good since I've been exposed to it my whole life, still am, and I live with a smoker so there is no getting away from it. Cigar smoke sickens me and I can't stand to be anywhere near it, even outside.

Last edited by hanyo on 23 Jan 2012, 6:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

Mummy_of_Peanut
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23 Jan 2012, 6:14 am

Verdandi wrote:

wokndead wrote:

Ugh. The smell of cigarette smoke makes me want to stop breathing, and I need to get away from it. Like my lungs literally stop inhaling and I start swallowing uncontrollably. No good!

This is what it's like for me. I also tend to skyrocket toward meltdown if I can't get away from it.

Same here. I think I must look like I'm over-reacting, but that's the effect it has on me and I can't help it.

We have a retail park near here - big stores all joined together, but not in a mall, you have to go outside to get into the next one. People stand at the entrances to each one, smoking, and the pavement is very narrow. I have to run the gauntlet to get past them.

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Mummy_of_Peanut
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23 Jan 2012, 6:19 am

hanyo wrote:

I've had people do that really offensive whoosh gesture over their head because they thought I didn't understand something. I did understand. I just thought it was stupid or had nothing to say about it.

Yeah, I've had people not realising that I understood something, because I didn't respond to it. But, in my mind, it was such a silly thing for them to say that I was thinking 'I'm dealing with an idiot here'. I've never learned how to repond to inane conversation without offending, so I say nothing.

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Sparhawke
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23 Jan 2012, 6:31 am

NerdbyDefault wrote:

Sparhawke wrote:

NerdbyDefault wrote:

Hmm glad to see my input is appreciated.

It was, I was just trying to show how NTs are for the most part entirely superficial, and only look at the top layer of what a person is rather than the thoughts and feelings of what lies underneath.

Funnily enough, it seems to me that us aspies may get blamed for the worlds ills and maybe inadvertently offending everyone, but we are the ones who tend to be broken up about it the most, NTs feel no such guilt and instead carry on with impunity like they are scoring points in some obscure game.

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