Aspergers having no social life

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I have enough trouble interacting at work now and barely talk. I just go to work do my job and go home. I go to my Aspergers group once a month though and have a friend who I see every couple of weeks. Have no close friends to hang with but to be honest a couple of hours socialising is enough for me. Even if I had close friends I just wouldn't want to hang around them for hours on end. I can usually come off awkward and shy to people and I have a combination of social anxiety and find chatting and making small talk, conversation etc can be exhausting and overwhelming. It is just foreign to me how people make conversation and interact with each other and I am on the outer most of the time. It is simply not natural for me to socialise. I can find it boring socialising with people too.

Usually when I am in a social situation I have enough trouble conversing. I am a homebody and don't go out drinking like most people my age do or party have as I am happy to stay at home with my cat and do my own thing mainly on the weekends. Being round people is exhausting.

I would be better off giving up and living in solitude.

I have no social life and almost never leave the house.

Edit: I think today is 2 weeks since I left the house. If I do end up leaving the house I'm either by myself or with my mother and rarely talk to anyone except maybe a few words with a cashier if I go to a store and they say something to me or if I have to respond to a random stranger that comments on my long hair.

Last edited by hanyo on 25 Jan 2012, 6:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

I sort of have a social life. I wouldn't say it's a tremendous amount, but it is still better than nothing. I usually meet up with one of my friends about 2 to 3 times a week, and occasionally I meet up with a couple of my other friends, and I keep in touch with people on Facebook and often have a chat to them. I also sometimes see my cousins, which I know most people say ''but they're your cousins, they don't count'', but I think they do count. If I'm with my cousins, I am being sociable, therefore they're part of my social life.

Sometimes I even consider getting the bus part of my social life too, because I make friendly small talk with other passengers and some of the bus-drivers.

I am rather happy with my social life anyway. Too much of it just invites trouble for me, because I then find myself getting involved with the wrong people, but sticking to the very few friends I've got now is far better.

It is the weirdest thing. As a kids I had trouble making friends even though I wanted friends. As a late teen an early adult I was a self destructive party animal and did not like being alone then I became a Mom.

I spent most of my adult like as a single mom going from one job to another because it never seemed to work out in the long run for many reasons.

Now my kids are grown, I am married and retired. I have been married for about a year to an aspie. He has a couple of friends but I have yet to make any. I only leave the house when shopping or in the mood to go eat chinese.

I would like to join a church but, my sleep scedual is so horrible that, that is really hard.

I would love to have a really close friend who is female. I have had around 4 in my life and it was wonderful. I do best with one really close friend than a bunch of aquaintances.

I do wish I could somehow have one really close female friend. It makes me sad that I don't and really don't have any way or meeting any.

Anytime I met a female in the past and we just clicked and it ended up as a long term close frienship, it just happened. I did not go out looking for it.

I hope that happens again soon, in spite of myself.

I enjoy socializing but I don't get to hang out with people outside of school often. I am always busy with school, sports, and work which leaves me very limited time to socialize. I have friends but none of hem really see me as very close. They would choose to spend time with other friends before me.

Can't you still go out to places where there are people even if you live in your parents house? I still live at my moms house and have a social life....its not super crazy like I don't have 50 people saved in my phone contacts but I do have some friends and a possible boyfriend but it has not gotten that far and I am not 100% sure it will.

When my social life is lacking it usually has to do with people thinking I'm a freak and ostracizing me......or me feeling like I need to be away from people.

I don't have as much of a social life as I would like, but I'd say most of that is because of transportation issues.........people aren't always willing or able to give me a ride, and my work hours don't always mix well with the bus schedules when I want/need to get somewhere.

I have no friends at all, apart from my girlfriend, who I see at weekends. I don't like socialising at all and never do it. When I am alone I feel relaxed and at ease and can concentrate on my "special interest", which makes me happy. The main problem with socialising is boredom. Groups are worse than individual conversations, which can be ok for an hour or two, though I have only had one purely social individual conversation with someone other than my girlfriend in the last five years. With groups I found the constant changes of topic bewildering and ended up feeling dazed. However I suspect that I have a schizoid personailty (otherwise nameable as "extreme solitude-seeking personality") rather than asperger's, though after reading all your posts some of you sound pretty schizoid too lol.

I'm not diagnosed but if I don't have asperger's I probably have schizoid. I scored 90% for that on a test before and the symptoms match me well.

I'm in the same situation. I can't tell which I have. I arranged to see a psychiatrist last Friday and she more or less said how the hell was she supposed to be able to tell which of the two I had and sent me away . It is frustrating because you don't want to go round thinking you are schizoid when you have aspergers or go round thinking you have aspergers when you are schizoid. The diagnostic criteria overlap a lot. For instance schizoids enjoy few activities while aspies have special interests which take up most of their time, so if you enjoy few activities because of your special interest you meet the criteria for both. Schizoids almost always prefer solitary activities while aspies are supposed to not spontaneously seek to interact (I can't remember the exact definition). Schzoids are even supposed to not like eye contact and to often find reading social situations difficult. The one thing I am sure of is that if I'm not aspergers I must be schizoid.

I'm old now... and when I look back on my life I can see I had a few periods of pretty good socializing. That was when the people I was with accepted me and enjoyed me right from the start. Like I lived on an island for many years, and it turned out that I was really good at backgammon and dominoes. People were just drawn to me, and they lined up to take a beating. It was a small fishing village, and I was given a flattering nickname. My differences were ignored, and some people would honk and wave at me when they saw me. Eventually it seemed that everyone knew me.

I wish I had a social life. It never happens. I just don't understand it or other people.

I'd love to have a social life, but for some reason, it never seems to happen. I'm just too awkward. I can't make the connections needed.

I do my best to socialize with people, but ^^ this ^^ is what makes it a lot more difficult for me.

I've never really had much of a social life, and as I get older I am less interested in having a social life just for the sake of having one. I just plain don't like most people. In social settings most people engage in meaningless chit chat, which I absolutely can't stand. I'm really only interested in talking about my interests if I talk to anyone at all.

The problem in all of this is material survival. In order to get work, either for someone else or for yourself, one has to engage in socializing. "Networking" as they call it. Something which I have no clue how to do. And my career has suffered dearly because of this. Right now my dad supports me financially, though I do life alone. But he is getting lder and won't be able to help me forever. I'll have a choice at that point, either dealing with the insane requirements and hoop jumping of the bureaucratic process of getting on public assistance, or somehow learning how to do this mysterious "networking" thing people talk about and find work on my own.

Personally, I'd rather deal with chit chat and socializing than deal with the insane requirements of the government for public assistance.

I don't like meeting new people (especially) women. They are just too nosy. I hate being asked what I do for a living. I am disabled over personal things that is none of their business. I would rather be asked what I like doing for fun in that they want to know because they want to share having fun with me.

What does it matter what I do for a living? Do they want to feel better about themselves because they might have a better job than me?