Could I be an aspie?

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Well. First of all I’d like to introduce myself because this is my first post. I think it’s important for you to know that English is my third language, so I’m sorry for all those mistakes that I may make.

I’ve been struggling my whole life with a lot of different issues which have kept me away from my comtemporaries. I’ve never felt close to my classmates and it’s always been really difficult for me to get along with people. I must say I used to feel comfortable with adults until I became older. Then I realized the definition of maturity is far from getting older. It’s not about experience in my opinion. I think it takes much more than that to see certain points of those elements which determine who we are. From my point of view being respectful to nature and wondering why we do the things we do is much more mature than being responsible. So, even I find some interest in almost anyone (there’s always something to learn) I don’t really appreciate people for that condition (age) anymore. It’s getting harder for me to share my thoughts, because nobody wants to hear them.

I don’t want to sound selfish even it’s something I think I’ve been doing for some years. It’s not that I want to sound especially humble saying that I don’t esteem myself for this. Humbleness must be something natural, not pretended. The fact is I’ve never had to pay too much attention to my studies to get the highest marks possible. Throughout a phase I got really bad qualifications. I wasn’t interested in high school at all and I wouldn’t pay any attention to my tasks. But then I’d come home and study ancient Egyptian, something that always had me fascinated. Thankfully, once I got into college, that changed. I’m so interested in my degree that I can’t see one single thing which doesn’t open me new gates, new ways to carry out all the things I want to do. However, my degree never took me any long to study. I haven’t had any problems to get high marks studying on the same day of the exam. So, I considered fulfilling some passions, which I had had to shut before, was right at the time. I became an animal rights activist and started taking lots of responsibilities. You can’t even imagine how frightened I’ve felt sometimes as I was threatened by powerful people. Not only that, but I also took up writing letters for newspapers because I felt it was my duty to express my point of view. I’ve always considered it’s important to change yourself what you consider to be wrong, and expressing your point of view is the first step. As I felt I could go through everything fruitfully I went on. I enrolled myself in English classes and kept on working on everything I was dealing with. Now I’m also studying German.

Now the reason why I’m writing. I certainly feel dumb for this, but I can’t concentrate on anything. It’s hard for me to focus, and I feel there must be some degenerative neurobiological process destroying my cognition. I’m a pescetarian, so I thought maybe I wasn’t getting enough cyanocobalamin. I had my blood tested and saw there’s nothing to worry about. Even so I’m taking prescription medications to avoid any troubles. I feel my motor skills have been damaged. I’m not as eloquent as I used to be and even typing seems more difficult now. I haven’t got such high marks this semester (but I must admit I’ve not studied at all), although they’re just acceptable. I forget things easily. My short-term memory can be rapidly disturbed. Maybe I’m doing something without realizing (just like a robot) and don’t remember having done it afterwards. And this list could go on. I’m a hypochondriac. It hasn’t been diagnosed but I don’t need a psychologist to know (sorry, but I don’t trust psychological sciences, can’t help but be skeptical). What I’m dealing with is similar to those times when I think of a possible disease. I get distracted by my own thoughts. I live in my mind. I spend a lot of time designing ideas, and that keeps me far from the reality sometimes. I guess I think too much and live too little. I’ve even stopped drawing, something I’ve been doing my whole life naturally, something that has always erased any disturbing state of mind.

I don’t know if I’m an aspie. I knew that there was a part of me that made me awkwardly different (I’ve always been comfortable like this), but it wasn’t until I went to college when I considered some degree of autism as the reason. What I’m struggling with is not depression or anything like that. There are many things which get me down (especially seeing the conditions wealthy countries have the poor ones under), but there’s much to be happy for and I found many different ways to deal with any sort of “trouble”. I think I analyze myself so profoundly I can tell what’s wrong, but a second opinion may help. Perhaps I simply can’t afford to be an overarchiever, or maybe I’m just insane.

Whatever. I hope this brain vomit lets you help me. I think only people like you can do it without thinking I’m just arrogant.

Thank you so much.

Might you want to rethink the thread title. I appreciate that English is not your first language (it isn't mine either) but the use of "may" sounds like your asking for permission to have an ASD.

When in fact I think you want to know, "could I be ... Etc, in other words, is it possible.

Sorry if this sounds pedantic.

Possibly try making paragraphs (through edit) so it is more readable. The huge block of text at the moment seems daunting. Not trying to criticize, but it will probably get more people to read it

You need a multiple choice answer. I mean an All of The Above D. answer.
Yes & Maybe, to be typically blunt here.
Sure sounds like it. And for a third language, you use english much better than my I can do with my other language, spanish.

Sincerely,
Matthew

There isn't really enough information to say. You mention a lot about emotionally emphatizing with others, but that alone isn't sufficient for an autistic diagnosis.

I recommend looking up a list of Aspie traits and then seeing if you can give information on which ones you think you have and then an explanation paragraph on why. It'll help us help you, but more importantly you'll put down very explicitly which particular autistic traits you think you have.

As the poster above me said, I think it Is important for you to gather a more comprehensive and specific list of Aspie traits that you recognize in yourself.

It might help you to read through various threads here in the General Forum and in other areas. I know that for me personally, when I was first wondering if I could have Asperger's and found these forums, there was an unmistakable sense of recognition - 'This is me!' and 'I feel exactly like this!' Then, come back and let us know what you found. ;D

Were it true that you're autistic, you'd have a satisfying prepackaged explanation for your aloneness, your obsessions, and your - by the sounds of it - so far unsatisfying life. Might help...

Plenty of tests to objectively gauge your Aspie-ness: http://homepage.mac.com/lpetrich/Asperger/Index.html

I wanted to quote the previous post, but the forum is trying to aviod spammers, so.

Your Autism Quotient (AQ) is 35 out of 50
Your Empathy Quotient (EQ) is 35 out of 80
Your Friendship and Relationship Quotient (FQ) is 32 out of 135
Your Systematizing Quotient (SQ) is 49 out of 80

I don't trust these tests at all. I consider myself to be quite empathetic (I strongly worry about social issues, especially anything which has something to do with animal welfare) and once I know what kind of people I'm dealing with it's very easy for me to predict their behavior. And my relationship with my nuclear family and best friend is great (I don't need to talk to him all the time).

Aspie Quiz results

Your Aspie score: 141 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 64 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie

Aspie talent
Your group score: 8.7 of 10 (above average).
Neurotypical talent
Your group score: 3.1 of 10 (below average).
Aspie compulsion
Your group score: 8.1 of 10 (above average).
Neurotypical compulsion
Your group score: 2.4 of 10 (below average).
Aspie social
Your group score: 5.8 of 10 (average).
Neurotypical social
Your group score: 3.0 of 10 (below average).
Aspie communication
Your group score: 8.4 of 10 (above average).
Neurotypical communication
Your group score: 3.9 of 10 (average).
Aspie hunting
Your group score: 5.5 of 10 (average).
Neurotypical hunting
Your group score: 2.4 of 10 (below average).
Aspie perception
Your group score: 8.0 of 10 (above average).
Neurotypical perception
Your group score: 1.4 of 10 (below average).
Environment
Your group score: 3.7 of 10 (average).

Your post reads much better since your edits! Originally I voted "maybe" and I think I want to stick with that.

Of course you realise that none of us here are qualified to diagnose ASDs. I certainly am not qualified to do so. But I guess you are asking for lay opinions. I think many elements point towards an ASD (the intense interests, the feeling apart from others) but other features, such as stereotyped movements/mannerisms, stimming to name a couple, appear to be missing, at least you haven't mentioned them.

Like another poster said, spending time on the forum might make things clearer for you.

I feel ya on the test things. One of the iggest flaws I see in those kind of tests is that they are pretty good at evaluating whether you initially have Aspergers, but after working on improving it for some time, the test is able to confuse us with an NT

If you want to try an interesting experiment sometime, try taking the tests while drunk (or stoned), and compare your answers. If you end up almost comically off the deep end of the Aspie scale, it's good evidence that your sober aspie results are probably pointing you in the right direction. If they're more or less identical to your sober results, or appear to contradict them and sugest neurotypicality, you might have some more introspective analysis to do.

While you're at it, try these two tests:

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

http://similarminds.com/jung.html

Be a little skeptical of the results if your native language isn't English, but if you end up with IxTJ or IxTP and have Aspie quiz scores that suggest you're very, very likely to be an Aspie, chalk it up as one more piece of supporting evidence, especially if your "x" is N (or at most, very weakly S). If your J/P score is HIGH, you can go a step further, and interpret a strong P score as evidence that you're pretty likely to also have ADD, and a strong J score as evidence that you probably don't. Keep in mind that roughly half the Aspies at WP end up with J/P scores that are weakly on the border, so you can't blindly just look at J-or-P without considering how strong it is. Only STRONG P/J scores tend to correlate with the presence or absence of ADD. For everyone else, it's a dice roll that doesn't really imply anything either way.