I feel funny - Someone I knew died

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I don't know. Some of my friends say that this is normal to feel, and they may be right. It is just that I do not actually really *know* most people who I know that die.

I just found out (about an hour ago) that someone I know... who I have had interesting conversations with... who I have been over to his house, was killed in a car accident last night (he was walking and was struck by a car). He was 88, so age wise, he could have passed due to old age, and I think that would make me feel differently. But he was not. This was sudden. I will never have conversations again with him. I will never *really* be able to see him again. He can't be dead. I know of people who die often. It is sad, but sometimes, like this, it is more of a shock. When I saw the article, I said: "No! Not him!" (I had heard about the accident, but did not know it was he who was killed until later). I was really in shock.

Do any of you also feel differently when some people die than others? I just feel strange that I am so shocked about him, but if it was someone (who I originally thought it could be) I would have been sad and that would be about it. I just feel this is an out of place reaction. I don't know.

You're okay, you're even "normal" or NT. That's called "grief". There are whole subsections of Psychology about dealing with grief, and how long it takes, and the different areas you go through while recovering.

You can't feel real grief every time someone you _don't_ know dies: If you did you'd be quite insane.

How much grief you get when someone you know well and like a lot dies, varies. Sometimes it depends on how much a part of your own life that person was.

When it's someone like one of your parents, whom you've lived with all your life (that's assuming that they were somewhere near average parents, not abusers or something), look out! You've got a lot to go through. See if you can find a grief counselor.

You do get used to it, you recognize the feeling after you've lost some people, but it always hurts.

I'm an aspie and I feel grief. Being an aspie doesn't mean lack of feelings, but inability to EXPRESS them properly.

http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-sta ... grief.html

7 Stages of Grief...

"1. SHOCK & DENIAL-
You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks."

Sound familiar? Probably best to go to the site and read about it -- it's more "realistic" than even asking people in your Real World will get.

I didn't mean to say that aspies don't. I'm an aspie myself, diagnosed recently, and in 68 years I've had a lot of very dear people die, and a lot of grief. I'm sorry. But I just wanted to tell OP that it wasn't a "weird" way to feel, that it's _normal_ for EVERYBODY.

And I thank you for that. I think it is nice to hear it explain *why* I am feeling the way I am feeling instead of just having it thrown at me that "it is normal." Like my daughter, I want to understand *why* it is normal.

@whitemissacacia: I understand what you are saying. I know that feeling feelings is normal for Aspies. I fee them all the time. I was just wondering if the feelings I was feeling are too intense - if I was feeling them to an extreme. With what was said, I am probably perfectly normal (whatever that means), so that makes me feel better. I will sit on it for a bit. meh.