Does non-verbal communication play an important role?

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Transhuman
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04 Feb 2012, 2:29 pm

Does non-verbal communication play an important role in socializing? And is there such a thing at all, apart from smiling/obvious anger/tiredness? Isn't nonverbal communication something which isn't certain, which, unless is a very obvious emotion (as listed) can't really be read with any certainty?



schleppenheimer
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04 Feb 2012, 2:38 pm

Nonverbal communication is VERY important. It can so often be the difference between being able to tell if someone is truly your friend, or sarcastically being your friend in order to make YOU look like a fool.

Nonverbal communication is how you can tell the difference between someone who's listening to your obsessive interest, and someone who's staring at the watch hoping that you'll understand that they are bored to tears by your one-sided conversation.

The biggest thing that I notice that is my son's problem with non-verbal communication is that he isn't able to distinguish the difference between who is a TRUE FRIEND, and who is trying to get you to look silly. I don't think he has this problem often, as I think the kids at his high school are generally fairly nice. But he really doesn't see the sarcasm in someone's face, and he hasn't put two and two together as to when somebody is on his side vs. someone who doesn't care for him at all. Much of this NT's pick up through nonverbal communication.



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04 Feb 2012, 6:57 pm

Yeah non-verbals are very important in NT communication. Its shown in studies that words only make only 8% of your communications. Everything from voice tone, facial expressions, timing to motions and gestures plays a role in communication. NTs generally read body language quite instinctively whereas aspies dont. I went from an aspie who didn't read much body language to someone that now reads majority of things. Trust me there's a lot that many aspies don't see.



RobotGreenAlien2
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04 Feb 2012, 7:04 pm

It is important but don't let it get you down. There are books and you don't need to learn everything to start getting by.



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04 Feb 2012, 7:16 pm

RobotGreenAlien2 wrote:
It is important but don't let it get you down. There are books and you don't need to learn everything to start getting by.


QFT

It's important and it doesn't come instinctively to us, but we can learn it. I find it easier to read i in other people than to give off non-verbal cues of my own.


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04 Feb 2012, 8:08 pm

When watching the television and my whole concentration is focused there is so much I see that it is like a whole different language, when face to face with someone I miss virtually all of it, even though I can feel my face making the expressions I would expect to see in any given situation...I would say non-conscious body language is extremely important, which is why I prefer forums :p

Ai_Ling wrote:
Yeah non-verbals are very important in NT communication. Its shown in studies that words only make only 8% of your communications. Everything from voice tone, facial expressions, timing to motions and gestures plays a role in communication. NTs generally read body language quite instinctively whereas aspies dont. I went from an aspie who didn't read much body language to someone that now reads majority of things. Trust me there's a lot that many aspies don't see.


While NTs do it automatically, speaking from my own experience I would say us Aspies are far better at it with practice because we tend to analyse everything whereas so called "normals" simply ignore it because they have never had to consciously learn the hard way, when we have a chance to step back we see everything.


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04 Feb 2012, 8:46 pm

Yea, there are hundreds of expressions and voice intonations. Some non-verbal communication is genetically hardwired. Some of it is cultural or sub-cultural. Some of it is conscious, some is subconscious. Some is voluntary/intentional, some is involuntary/unintentional. It's quite complicated. I think a lot of body language is a more primitive form of communication than spoken language.



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04 Feb 2012, 9:56 pm

YES, I can definitely tell you that nonverbals are paramount, speaking as an Aspie. After my diagnosis at the turn of the 2000s, I got speech therapy training including nonverbal communication, plus guidance from some trusted friends (I was lucky to have had them). I'm FAR better at it now than in my youth. When I did post-secondary ed in the 1990s (and even in the years after that), I got second-hand feedback that certain young women found me "creepy" because I did not take their "obvious" hints that they weren't interested in me, and were actually turned off by me - but there I was , still asking for her phone number or if we could get together sometime, and I feel like a fool today for having done so - I mean, TODAY, I definitely would have noticed any nonverbal negatives, or not even have precipitated them to begin with (I'm married now, with quite a bit of dating experience :) )



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04 Feb 2012, 11:31 pm

Most non-human animals use nonverbal communication exclusively, and they understand each other just fine. Humans use language as an additional tool, but 90% of human communication is nonverbal.



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05 Feb 2012, 12:32 am

CrazyCatLord wrote:
but 90% of human communication is nonverbal.


90%:?!? Wow...I've heard some substantial percentages, but 90%? Anyway, I get annoyed at quotes like this (as I suspect most Aspies do.), but only because they're true :(

So many times in my life, I've been told that it "wasn't what I said, but how I said it" or that my facial expressions and/or body language implied something that I didn't mean to convey.



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05 Feb 2012, 1:16 am

WhoKnowsWhy wrote:
CrazyCatLord wrote:
but 90% of human communication is nonverbal.


90%:?!? Wow...I've heard some substantial percentages, but 90%? Anyway, I get annoyed at quotes like this (as I suspect most Aspies do.), but only because they're true :(

So many times in my life, I've been told that it "wasn't what I said, but how I said it" or that my facial expressions and/or body language implied something that I didn't mean to convey.


That's what I read anyway. If you google for "percent of communication is nonverbal", most sites in the search results say either 75, 90 or 93%:
https://www.google.com/search?q=%22perc ... nverbal%22

I assume that it depends on the social situation. When NTs perform their courtship rituals and mating dances, most signals between the male and the female are nonverbal. But in a situation like a business meeting it is probably a much smaller percentage.



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05 Feb 2012, 1:22 am

WhoKnowsWhy wrote:
CrazyCatLord wrote:
but 90% of human communication is nonverbal.


90%:?!? Wow...I've heard some substantial percentages, but 90%? Anyway, I get annoyed at quotes like this (as I suspect most Aspies do.), but only because they're true :(

So many times in my life, I've been told that it "wasn't what I said, but how I said it" or that my facial expressions and/or body language implied something that I didn't mean to convey.


To a logical/mathematically minded person like me, a percentage figure is essentially meaningless without an explanation of the methodology used to quantify the information being communicated. Really, what the heck does "90% of human communication" mean? Obviously nonverbal communication conveys a different type of information than verbal communication. A percentage figure only really makes sense if you're comparing apples to apples. It's not as if someone could convert the works of Shakespeare into a series of grunts and gestures. I'd really like to see the actual study to know how they came up with the 90% figure, or whether it's simply an oft-repeated myth. I just don't completely buy it.



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12 Feb 2012, 7:24 am

marshall wrote:
WhoKnowsWhy wrote:
CrazyCatLord wrote:
but 90% of human communication is nonverbal.


90%:?!? Wow...I've heard some substantial percentages, but 90%? Anyway, I get annoyed at quotes like this (as I suspect most Aspies do.), but only because they're true :(

So many times in my life, I've been told that it "wasn't what I said, but how I said it" or that my facial expressions and/or body language implied something that I didn't mean to convey.


To a logical/mathematically minded person like me, a percentage figure is essentially meaningless without an explanation of the methodology used to quantify the information being communicated. Really, what the heck does "90% of human communication" mean? Obviously nonverbal communication conveys a different type of information than verbal communication. A percentage figure only really makes sense if you're comparing apples to apples. It's not as if someone could convert the works of Shakespeare into a series of grunts and gestures. I'd really like to see the actual study to know how they came up with the 90% figure, or whether it's simply an oft-repeated myth. I just don't completely buy it.


I don't think the study refers to the frequency at which non-verbal communication occurs (as compared to verbal), but rather, the credence given to non-verbal, or the relative weighting it gets during an interaction. People on the spectrum give a much higher weight to verbal communication (hence literal interpretations, missing nuances and emotional states) and this gets them labelled as "naive" or "clueless" or "insensitive". So it took me literally years of practice to realize that yes ,non-verbal really does take precedence.



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12 Feb 2012, 7:54 am

Transhuman wrote:
Does non-verbal communication play an important role in socializing? And is there such a thing at all, apart from smiling/obvious anger/tiredness? Isn't nonverbal communication something which isn't certain, which, unless is a very obvious emotion (as listed) can't really be read with any certainty?


I think it's important in understand and not being able to reciprocate or read body language can lead to misunderstandings or conflict between people.

Research shows that 55% of communication is conveyed by the body language we use, Use of eye contact, gestures and facial expressions. 38% is conveyed in the voice, it's quality, use of tone and inflections. Only 7% is conveyed in the words we use so yes, if you take that into account, 90% is accurate.

An example, if you notice billboards and advertisements? what resembles more in your mind? the context of the billboard or the colors and presentation of it?



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12 Feb 2012, 8:00 am

If non-verbal communication wasn't important, aspergers wouldn't be a disability. That 93% is real. And, it goes without saying, that 93% is what we can't get at.



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12 Feb 2012, 8:06 am

peterd wrote:
If non-verbal communication wasn't important, aspergers wouldn't be a disability. That 93% is real. And, it goes without saying, that 93% is what we can't get at.


Exactly, presentation is more important than context in regards to everything. People that aren't on the spectrum process and see presentation as the first means of communication, context is secondary. That's why many people on the spectrum come across as intelligent, they have the context yet lack the means to implement it in a presentable way.