When was the last time you had a friendship in real life?

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The reason we have trouble with friends is because of the empathy thing. NTs think about other people's business deeply and get all involved. In a way I imagine that it is like the soap operas... which I can't follow or get involved in... ever.

Many years ago when I was trying to get along and fit in somehow, I got into reading a philosopher cult guy Gurdjieff. He had this technique called "external considering," that helped you get along with other people. What you do is you try and figure out what other people want or need, and then provide it for them as sort of a test to see if you are correct. He encourages you to practice on animals too. I was never very good at it really, but it is a lot like trying to learn to empathize, and it can help.

Also it seems that there is an element of respect that friends have for each other that I find hard to ever get from others (except when playing games), that comes naturally to NTs. When I am talking eyes glaze over, heads nod. It seems often that when I am talking Im saying everything about my "condition," and nothing about the topic at hand.

Not in contact with any from school. Lost contact with any from university. I only really hang out with the one friend (seeing as the others are long distance) and I met her when I was about 14. We hang out quite regularly and we've stuck together all this time. Everyone else I've made friends with ALWAYS drift away. But, I'm glad I at least have one I can do stuff with and we share a lot of interests. Sometimes I just wish for another friend who has aspergers or is into a particular interest of mine (The Beatles/Paul McCartney. I want someone to go to his concerts with) Just one more, you know?

I'm extremely fortunate to have friends I've known for many years. Of course, I'm not at all sure how to make any new friends.

What's that?

Never had one. Never will.

One main friend, a few others who are on the periphery (I.e. my wife's friend). I don't see this friend that often outside of work, but we go out and get wasted about once a month. That's all I need really and it's at his prompting.

He is pretty social and I just tag along for the ride.

Jason

More than a decade ago.

I have not had any real friends since the 80's, when I was in my twenties. I was very lucky to have had good friends. I still talk to one friend from back then, but we now live in different parts of the US. Even though he was and is a close friend, he has stolen from me a couple of times. We went through a very dark time.

At one point I had 4 close good friends. I was one of the luckiest people, even for an NT to have had that. Through the 80's I had about 20 close friends in all.

The only reason I had so many and possible any, was because I was a "very popular person".. I controlled a restaurant that I made very profitable and at the same time I was being pushed on a fast political path. They were talking about me becoming president. I'm positive I am a savant. A lot of people wanted to be my friend only because of that life. Most were good friends, and a few turned to be amazing people. As much as having friends meant to me, living that life is very tough.

Growing up, I had 3 male and 4 female friends, we moved a lot, so they were short friendships. I did have another female friend at 19, She said it was because I was the nicest person she ever met and she wanted to be more. At the end of my twenties I did have 4 more female friends,they to wanted to be more.. Those girls liked me because of my past. I moved from that part Florida in my late twenties.

Today, I am just another autistic. I don’t want to ever cause so much attention again. I do dream of finding a high functioning autistic female for friendship.

Working I always have friendly co-workers. Currently I work with this guy who has to be high functioning autistic that never knew he was. He is fun to work with.

A true friendship? Never really. I might have one in middle school, but that didn't last very long.

I have a wonderful missus but other than her I've not had a relationship that could be considered friendly for at least 16 years.


Given the choice between socialising and loneliness, I think the loneliness is less stressful.

I've been without a super-close friend since early January. Closest friend now once was very close, but we're a bit more distanced. I'd consider myself as having an alright amount of friends, such as my bandmates; just none that are super close.

I have a good friendship with three people right now.

1989.