What was your childhood like?

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Hmm, ugghhh!
Ok some years were just purgatory but other years were pure Hell..
Actually, I got kind of a rebel label in my first elementary school for various reasons, though I had only a few "close" friends. But I knew the territory. Unfortunately, my family started moving, a lot. 7th & 8th grade? Hell, again. Confusion, because I had to learn new routines, teachers etc (who did know me well) and Bully Central. Ninth grade was better, but I had fewer friends. Since I went to a different HS each bloody year. No friends at all in Grade 11. Started my slide into a major depression..
When I got to 12th grade, I made friends I still have, but there were only 2 or 3 of these..
College was much better for me!

Sincerely,
Matthew

I know it isn't abnormal to not have sex before 18, point is I never even had one gf when I was a teenager, and there were opportunities I missed due to sheer obliviousness.

Aye. The worst thing you can do is lose your virginity because of peer pressure/social stigmatisms.

I lost my virginity aged 17 simply because both me and the girl involved both wanted to lose our virginity - no other reason. Dunno about her, but for me it felt completely wrong. I mean she was a nice girl, just losing it for those reasons were wrong. There were a few, though not too many experiences over the next few years, but again it felt wrong. Then I decided that was it, until/unless I found someone that I loved - that was when I was 21. But I was never able to connect with anyone, not just in terms of relationships, but in general terms too. I wasn't really able to strike up conversations or form too many friendships. And so, there were no opportunities. I've been very lonely because of that, but my opinion has always remained the same - no sex outside of a loving relationship. Then last summer everything clicked in terms of realising I have Aspergers and now I feel equipped to resolve things. I had given up. I was a lost cause as far as I was concerned, but now I have an explanation, not only for any future partner, but more importantly to myself.

I'd stress that my no sex outside a loving relationship stance is a purely personal one, something that works for me. It's not a moral one. If people want one night stands etc, I've no problem with that, I just think that whatever you decide to do, you do it because it's what YOU want and not because it's what someone else wants you to do or some sort of stigma. Never ever ever go against what you're comfortable with.

My childhood was very autistically alone, socially clueless about being socially clueless, and walkie-no-talkie, but I was also very happy.

I remember almost nothing of my childhood, but I've been told I was quite talkative before I went to school. I thought school was pointless and boring. I had friends to play with, but none really close.
My parents much preferred my older brothers, so I was left alone a lot, not always a bad thing, I wish they would've been more discreet with their favoritism though. Papa died when I was in my teens.

Overall I'd say I had a very decent childhood... there were (are) loving parents and grandparents, stable family life and there has always been a lot of freedom and trust. Anyway, I always preferred being by myself or in the company of animals. I did have some friends in kindergarten elementary school I used to hang out with but most of the time I enjoyed playing alone in my room. My parents and grandparents were always joking about that because they could basically put me somewhere with something to play with and I would sit there for hours playing or drawing something.
Later in school I was always quiet and I probably had a bored look on my face all the time. I was never properly bullied though. Sometimes the other girls (mostly) commented on the way I looked and on the things I did or didn't do but I guess most of the time the other kids just left me alone because I had always been different and they could never figure out what I was up to.. i was never squeeing about boy groups or boy friends, I had no interest in going out, dancing or dressing fancy. I was rebellious most of the time and I liked it.

Looking back i was a 'strange' child, i used to sit on my own at nursery and i could go anywhere and not talk for hours, i'd entertain myself in my head, I was happy enough before secondary school though!

I almost feel like I don't need to post anything, because everything written so far describes my experience. I enjoyed playing outdoors and often with my dog as the only companion. Serenity seemed to come from being in touch with natural simple things studied in great detail. My family situation was not bad or abusive, but divorce and other family conflicts did not help matters one bit. I felt multiple, stressed, and often arbitrary expectations yoked on me.

I had a few close childhood friends, but no generalized social experience of multiple friends at multiple times. Despite what the DSM says, when I was alone I became very good at imaginative play. I was in public school and had chances for socialization, but no matter how hard I tried I was either tuned out or tuned myself out. I could never mesh into group activities it seemed.

I regret much of junior high on up because this began my blunt periods: blunted affect and bluntness to others. I also fixated on music, which did help therapeutically, but it led to the exclusion of other intellectual pursuits. I regret this most of all because while I was good (vagueness intentional) I felt left tout there too because as I now realize there has to be some element of 'charisma' that you naturally exude or can act out and conjure in order to make it in the arts. This fixation also cost me a lot of valuable social time and I regret being oblivious to the thoughts and motivations of the girls in my school. Something tells me (and others too) that if I had been more socially aware, I would have had a lot more dates and maybe happier relationships. When I did invest in one though, I was often very strict about dating - it was either serious or not at all and that led to me be dumped most of the time.

I know many may disagree but I blame my early fixation on blinding me to other wonderful opportunities in academics and trade skills that would have been more advantageous if learned early. Many may disagree, but I think we should always gently encourage other activities to adolescents so they know all the choices available to them before they make a choice. I didn't get around to anthropology until after I had been out of University a few years and floundering in the work force.

Spectrum children need understanding, structure, and a full exposure to all the choices for what they can be interested in or learn. And don't forget lots of exercise, and exposure to nature!

When I was really young, I somehow managed to have friends even though my autistic traits were severe and I was in therepy 1/2 of the time. I made quite a few friends in elementary school, but sometimes I would be a loner. I couldn't stand being alone, it made me want to cry. Plus I kept switching schools so it was hard for me to maintain friendships. That's all thanks to my mom's ex (who I think has AS too). He would spend his money on things we didn't need, didn't allow my friends to come over, allow me to go over my friends' houses, and he punished me for every little thing he didn't like.

In middle school, I learned to make friends on my own without the aid of a teacher, therapist, or a guidence councelor. I'd have some friends who I talked to all the time and others I'd barely talk to. I had even started becoming friends with some of the seniors in high school and some elementary school kids when I was in 8th grade. I had a lot of friends to choose from, plus friends in other towns as well.

Now that I'm in high school, my number of friends has increased so much. I almost never show any of my autistic traits around them, but they don't notice them anyways. And now that my mom's trying to make me move with her yet again, I don't plan on losing the friends I have (that's what happens when I move) or starting a new school. Most of my life I've been told to never move in with my dad. Financially things are getting better and I have chosen to move in with my dad. My mom could care less about where I live now. I could be living in a different country, and she still woulddn't care. I move every 2 years, and pshycologially it's not helping me at all. I'm finally ignoring my mom after a decade of telling me not to move in with my dad to stay in the same school. Things now are getting better compared to when i was younger. They've made me a whole lot stronger.

I was almost always an outcast. If I had any friends growing up it would be one and rarely two. By the time I was 5 it seems most of my friends were autistic type girls my age. Most of the time I was alone and didn't mind playing by myslef. I had my toys and I didn't like anyone to touch them. It seemed strange that I played with toys way past when other no longer did. I played with my army men till I was 18, just like I did at 8. I only quit playing with them becasue I started a new life, far away.

I was dianosed in 1969 when I started 1st grade at 6. They put me on some bad drugs. Thankfully my school teacher faught to get me off them. Having learned about what those drugs did. I wish I could thank her as she saved me.

School was, like for others, prison. Unless I had that rare teacher, I never learned anything. I was slow to learn. Couldn't read a newspaper till I was over 30.. only because I never quit trying. Math was kind of easy.. Never really needed to study and science was usally good. Outside play time - loved swinging, and the marry-go-round - spining fast. Ohterwise I was off by myself. Usually some other outcast girl would walk over and play quitely beside me wihtout every saying a word.

Had speach for several years. Tell we moved where the school didn't have speach....

We moved every few years, far away, to a different state mostly. It was good and bad... Getting away from bullies and new friends.. and the bad - loosing a good friend and new bullies. LIving on military bases was good. I was just another kid who just moved. Those kids were overall the best kids. Everyone was friends but in a strage way.. No one ever got very close... They knew someone would be moving soon.
Funny thing - In my twenties I had lots of friends (hundreds, up to a thousand) and had several close friends - all but 3 were military dependents.

Growing up in the 60's and 70's life was different, all kids played outside. Liveing in small towns was best as most of those kids didn't care as long as rules were followed. Those were the only times I actually interacted with other kids, almost like I was just another kid. Those times pushed me a litter farther away from being an outcast.
I really hope those type of small towns still exist.
I would not want to be a kid today.. Life was sooooo much better before cable TV, cell phones, video games and Internet friendships (But I would have loved the knowledge). The time we played made me a much better person, having learned so mcuh about getting along with people confused me - it was not like autistics do. Not that I could do it as well, but I could fit in, in someplaces.

Being high functioning autistic and hyper ment I loved girls that were the same. just as they were rare, so was I.

At 13 we lived south of Miami and I had two friends. One kids was very little, but was a boxer with lots of trophies. He stood up against bullies and helped others learn how to for themselves. At the end of field trip a school teacher taking us home had a bad car wreck, Whitiker lost both legs, one arm and the other was useless and one eye. Gary Peterson was killed. My two best friesnds were gone. But the shcool allowed me to take Whitikers place. This changed who I am, still to this day.

By the time I was 18 girls, here and there, started to notice me. It was mind bending that a nice girl could be attracted to me. Being an outcast that was told I would never be worth anything so many time by so many.. Just like so many times I did things I could not undersand that made people upset, When I was younger my friends that were girls cried if they couldn't play with me. Then it became girls crying becasue they just wanted mt to notice them..

I never played sprots, not that I didn't try,

Last edited by AnOldHFA on 18 Feb 2012, 9:41 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Well, my childhood wasn't nice at all, but it also wasn't as bad as it could be.

My mother once said to me, that because I was my her first child, she kind have to experiment with my upbringing, because oddities in my development rendered any books on children development and upbringing useless. Probably the most distinctive feature of my early development was, that I started to talk relatively late, when I was about 18 months old (both of my parents are said to start talking around of year of age). Also, the words I uttered first were very different than of normal kids (I won't tell them, since I do not know how to translate them). I seemed to have very good memory and displayed advanced understanding of the world around me in very early age, memorizing flags of every state in the world in roughly 30 months of age and learning the alphabet in the age of three, also being able to do simple mathematical operations by that age. I remember very little from these years, but from my emotional memory, I think these were very happy years.

By age four my mother assumed that it is the time to get me to socialize by putting me to kindergarten. By that time, my only socializing experience was with my sister, who was two years younger than me. I must say that I greatly disliked going to the kindergarten, it just seemed wrong to leave my home for any purpose like that. Also, my first social problems were dated back then, since I disliked to play with other children, only thing that was nice in kindergarten were the trains, but I had to share them, which was not so nice. Also, other thing that detached me from other children was that at age 4,5 I learned how to read and I started to be very interested in books; surprisingly, other kids seemed to have different interests at that time. Despite that was one or two kids, that I maybe could describe as a friends, although my only true friend was my younger sister.

The first two schoolyears, my social situation got much worse; at that time I was gradually becoming a social outcast, because I was not really interested in things others were (I was interested in gathering information in various subjects, most notably mathematics and astronomy), though it was mitigated by our class teacher, who tried to get me involved in social acitivities of the class. I also got few cruel lessons about how the boys are expected to behave (I got mocked by my classmates at that time because I used to play with dolls with my sister, and other things). I also suffered because of my poor motor skills, which caused me to end dead last in almost every sport. There was one very positive highlight of that era, at age seven, I started to play chess, in the local chessclub, I found the kids there much easier to talk to.

At age 8, I learnt, what it really means to suffer. I transferred to another school, where I experienced more or less systematic bullying which was supported by the teachers view that I brought that upon myself. It was the time where I desperately tried to fit in and in the name of conformity I even resorted to terrorizing the kids weaker than me; at that time I thought, it might get me included in the social group of my class. Nevertheless, any attempts to get acknowledged by my classmates were futile and I started to gradually withdraw into my own world, I also started to pretend illnesses, so I would not have to go to school. I had only one good friend at that time, who was also an outcast because he was a gypsy. This period ended when I was about ten years old; I got sort of a meltdown and violently beat up one my classmate. Bullying then gradually stopped, since the other kids probably decided that it is not really worth it.

From that age onwards, I was left at peace, though I was still excluded from social group of my class, but I got first friends there, usually the kids who were not really tightly affiliated with that social group. With the arrival of abstract thinking I also started to develop theories why I am social outcast; at that time I thought that it is because I am to intelligent to properly socialize. However, there was one great thing about that time; I started to be one of the strongest chessplayers of my age in district, which meant I started to play at state competitions. There I made my first very good friends, because I had a lot in common with kids there. At age 13 I also experienced falling in love for the first time, it was a girl who was the main chess rival of my sister; I remember that I started to like her a lot, because I figured out, that she has similar thinking patterns. Unluckily enough, I got friend-zoned immediately. Also in 8th and 9th grade I started to be included in the social group of our class; the girls started to help me to socialize and I must say I related to them quite well.

Age 15 was a breakthrough for me, because I transferred to high school for gifted (requirement was to have measured IQ over 130) and I started really to socialize. Although again I was on the periphery of the class, at that time it was caused by the social phobia I acquired in the elementary school. But gradually I started to approach my classmates more and more often and I usually did not get rejected, because there were lot of people, that had some psychological condition too and they knew rejection very well from their early elementary school years, so they tried to include everyone into the social group of our class. Since I figured out, that my social skills are really poor, I developed a theory of social retardation, I thought that I might be socially ret*d, that I might acquire social skills at a slower pace than others.

Throughout high school I continued to acquire social skills at a stable pace, biggest improvement happened when I was 17 and signed for foreign exchange student program in the U.S. (particulary Nebraska) for one year. Although it was tough for me, it helped me a great deal, by making me more independent and helped me a great deal with improving my social skills. Finally at age 18, I entered my first romantic relationship (with my crush from several years ago) and although it ended up as a disaster, it taught me a important thing that it's not healthy to get attached too much to someone.

Since 18 is the age when person becomes fully adult in our country, end my childhood story there. I must say that only thing that enabled me to make it through my childhood were my caring parents. Although they got divorced when I was eleven, they always loved me and supported me, without them I would probably kill myself or more likely, someone else.

Wow, it's pretty long, I hope no one will be annoyed by this

My best childhood memories seem to involve the outdoors. Hiking, camping, just walking in the woods. Nature has always been a release valve for me. And it still is.

Matthew

I lived in the country, so my aloneness in elementary school didn't seem that abnormal.

Middle school: my best friends were "nerds" and a guy from Thailand.

High school: bullied, my few friends were female. It's probably still true that most of my friends are female, in fact.

Good, then bad, then awful. Things are on the up - I'm back at bad.

I was very quiet and polite and always mature for my age. I never felt like a child. I felt like an adult in a child's body, and I felt like I had to pretend to be a child to satisfy other people. I was very well-behaved, except when it came to "talking back" to adults, I got in trouble for that a lot.

I grew up out in the country, an only child, and did not have many other kids to play with outside of school. When I started school I made friends easily, I always had friends, but they were usually the type of friends who are really condescending and mean and not real friends at all. My friends treated me worse than any bully ever did.

I cried very easily and in the second grade I cried every day at school. I was in gifted classes but I knew there was something wrong with my brain. I was convinced I had a brain tumor. Teachers just thought everything came so easy to me. If I ever asked for help with anything they just said, "oh you're so smart, you don't need any help." They told me I was a "weird kid." I hated school, and I especially hated being in the gifted program.

I liked playing with things I could build with, or take apart. I liked legos and hot wheels cars and trains. I never cared much for dolls or "girly" things. I liked playing alone in the woods best of all.

I always felt like I was older and more mature than other kids my age. Actually, I felt like I was more mature than most adults.

Horrible. The worse imaginable horror you can imagine multiplied by infinity and taken to the depths of forever.